If laughing at yourself is divine, then I’m a deity . . .

Because I don’t have a prompt at the ready, I’m just gonna deal up some of the thoughts that went through my head this morning whilst sipping on Cuban coffee. For those of you playing at home, I only include the thoughts that weren’t screaming at me in Pig Latin.

Enjoyway ethay owshay!

  • Designated Survivor sits atop my “Favorite Show” standings currently. It can be schmaltzy as all get out, but that’s okay. Because it has soul, characters I really love and a President I would vote for. Twice.
  • When asked for my top three zombie apocalypse ‘must haves’ that do not include weapons, I went with cigarettes, bourbon and pain killers. Just because it’s the end of the world, doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with it.
  • If Loyola wins it all, they’ll be the first true Cinderella team in the history of ‘March Madness’. Yet further proof that television knows how to sell perception . . do they ever.
  • Speaking of mind control . . .The coming soon to HBO flick Fahrenheit 451 stars Michael B. Jordan as Guy Montag and Michael Shannon as Captain Beatty. I. Am. There
  • I don’t do playlists any more.
  • And I only listen to FM radio by mistake.
  • Diana Dors didn’t get the acclaim of her contemporaries back in the day, and that’s a shame. Because this beauty brought a moody, sexy brilliance to her performances that I really dig.
  • I plum forgot I have a Cuban sammy post to deal up. Monday it is!
  • If Oprah was the host of The Price Is Right, every contestant would win a brand new car.
  • Oh I get it now. Game of Thrones is gonna return every four years, like the Olympics!
  • So Starbucks has to put a cancer warning on its java, but Cheetos doesn’t? Deep fried Styrofoam peanuts dusted in a mysterious powder . . no problemo. N’kay.
  • Vera Farmiga is the only reason I will re-watch The Departed when I catch it on the tube.
  • Sometimes I envy people who are under house arrest. Seriously.
  • Chopsticks are for when you want to carry on a conversation. Forks are for when you’re hungry.
  • I contemplated filling a Twinkie with peanut butter and jelly this morning, but I don’t have any Twinkies.
  • Fun Fact: I once stole a payphone when I was in high school on a dare. I wish I would’ve held onto it, because it’s easier to find dinosaur fossils nowadays.
  • Fun Fact 2: I stepped under the velvet rope to touch the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum in London. If it wouldn’t have been so dang heavy . . well.
  • If not for Google, I wouldn’t know if Larry King was alive or dead.
  • I never had an Instagram account, and I wonder if some day, my grand kids will find that remarkable.
  • If I had a dollar for every time Laura Ingraham said something really shitty, Bill Gates would be borrowing money from me.
  • Whatever happened to Bjork? And why do I care?

Welp, Imma tuck my voices into bed because they would rattle on for days if I let ’em. In closing, I would like to wish all my peeps a blessed Easter weekend. Be good to yourselves and each other.



98 thoughts on “If laughing at yourself is divine, then I’m a deity . . .

  1. B,

    Funny hw that brain of yours works. One day I’ll have to do a similar post so we can compare notes.
    Twinkies. Dude. What is UP what that shit? Why do you Yanks enjoy them so much? They are nasty gross. Actually, fun fact: In my family, our fetish film is – Zombieland. Yep. Whenever we went camping, we would have movie night outside under the stars and watch this stupidly funny and totally loved flick. It was always best when newbies arrived because we would initiate them. After the first 15 minutes, they were ready to leave and we would tell them to stick with it. Next thing you know, we have new converts! We had kids (French, so it doesn’t have the same impact) going around camp saying: “Fucking clowns”… My family’s particularly favourite scene is after the girls steal Woody’s (Tallahassee’s) truck he says: “I want my Caddy back, stupid little bitches!” Long story short. We needed to taste the damn Twinkies that Tallahassee spends the whole apocalypse looking for. So we bought a few boxes. Verdict? Blech.

    Oh, and don’t be messing with my cuppa joe either…


    Liked by 2 people

    • WHA?????!!!!!
      The last payphone I used was on a gag. It was the phone booth that Harrison Ford used in “Witness” outside Zimmerman’s Hardware Store, in the heart of Amish country.
      And 451 . . oh yeah!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow. A pay phone in Amish country where they DON’T USE PHONES! Sweet irony!

        Yep. There’s an actual pay phone in a county park. I have a picture of it somewhere… I keep expecting them to take it out and I wanted to have proof of this ancient relic!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Well that was many years ago, before everyone had a cell phone on them at all times. Now the Amish tote around i-Phones . . . I mean, I don’t have an i-Phone (my choice since I don’t like ’em) but still . . .

          Liked by 1 person

  2. You are amusing. You might be insane. You could be a wee bit normal. It’s probably why I dig reading your stuff. Ha… yeah back off the coffee already. I have it on the daily there and don’t plan to stop. And you are spot on with the Cheetos, and you could probably add Doritos to that as well. Hmm and public admittance to thievery.. love it. haha… 😉 thanks for letting those voices out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sassy,

      You’re back! And yes . . I might be a little unhinged. But I like to think it makes me interesting.
      And this whole coffee warning label has something to do with a specific ingredient and Cali being what Cali is, they MUST regulate everything! What happened to that whole laid back vibe?
      There is a video on YouTube where this dude lights up a Lays potato chip. The results are frightening. And we put this stuff in our bodies . . . yikes.
      I was a lightweight when it came to theft in my old neighborhood. One of my friends stole cars. Like, he was really good at it. I have a funny story about it that I might have to share some time. But yeah, a payphone was minor league stuff. Which is why the Rosetta Stone could have been my big score! Dangit!
      Thank you for being okay with the voices.


      Liked by 1 person

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