If laughing at yourself is divine, then I’m a deity . . .

Because I don’t have a prompt at the ready, I’m just gonna deal up some of the thoughts that went through my head this morning whilst sipping on Cuban coffee. For those of you playing at home, I only include the thoughts that weren’t screaming at me in Pig Latin.

Enjoyway ethay owshay!

  • Designated Survivor sits atop my “Favorite Show” standings currently. It can be schmaltzy as all get out, but that’s okay. Because it has soul, characters I really love and a President I would vote for. Twice.
  • When asked for my top three zombie apocalypse ‘must haves’ that do not include weapons, I went with cigarettes, bourbon and pain killers. Just because it’s the end of the world, doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with it.
  • If Loyola wins it all, they’ll be the first true Cinderella team in the history of ‘March Madness’. Yet further proof that television knows how to sell perception . . do they ever.
  • Speaking of mind control . . .The coming soon to HBO flick Fahrenheit 451 stars Michael B. Jordan as Guy Montag and Michael Shannon as Captain Beatty. I. Am. There
  • I don’t do playlists any more.
  • And I only listen to FM radio by mistake.
  • Diana Dors didn’t get the acclaim of her contemporaries back in the day, and that’s a shame. Because this beauty brought a moody, sexy brilliance to her performances that I really dig.
  • I plum forgot I have a Cuban sammy post to deal up. Monday it is!
  • If Oprah was the host of The Price Is Right, every contestant would win a brand new car.
  • Oh I get it now. Game of Thrones is gonna return every four years, like the Olympics!
  • So Starbucks has to put a cancer warning on its java, but Cheetos doesn’t? Deep fried Styrofoam peanuts dusted in a mysterious powder . . no problemo. N’kay.
  • Vera Farmiga is the only reason I will re-watch The Departed when I catch it on the tube.
  • Sometimes I envy people who are under house arrest. Seriously.
  • Chopsticks are for when you want to carry on a conversation. Forks are for when you’re hungry.
  • I contemplated filling a Twinkie with peanut butter and jelly this morning, but I don’t have any Twinkies.
  • Fun Fact: I once stole a payphone when I was in high school on a dare. I wish I would’ve held onto it, because it’s easier to find dinosaur fossils nowadays.
  • Fun Fact 2: I stepped under the velvet rope to touch the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum in London. If it wouldn’t have been so dang heavy . . well.
  • If not for Google, I wouldn’t know if Larry King was alive or dead.
  • I never had an Instagram account, and I wonder if some day, my grand kids will find that remarkable.
  • If I had a dollar for every time Laura Ingraham said something really shitty, Bill Gates would be borrowing money from me.
  • Whatever happened to Bjork? And why do I care?

Welp, Imma tuck my voices into bed because they would rattle on for days if I let ’em. In closing, I would like to wish all my peeps a blessed Easter weekend. Be good to yourselves and each other.

Peace.

 

98 thoughts on “If laughing at yourself is divine, then I’m a deity . . .”

    1. Tails,

      Bless you my child! What an amazing gift you have bestowed upon me!
      Thank you, thank you and muchas gracias!
      Yep, I gots to let the voices run around every now and then . . .

      Peace and Twinkies

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh . . you will be linked when it happens. Because you started the tasty fire, and you deserve the props for making sure I see it through!

        Peace and blessings . . . and PB&J Twinkies . . because this is America, and that’s how our founding fathers would’ve wanted it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Update: We have decided on a PB&J Twinkie, a Twinkie stuffed with chocolate, a PB and honey Twinkie and the classic deep fried version.
        The diet starts in my next lifetime!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. B,

    Funny hw that brain of yours works. One day I’ll have to do a similar post so we can compare notes.
    Twinkies. Dude. What is UP what that shit? Why do you Yanks enjoy them so much? They are nasty gross. Actually, fun fact: In my family, our fetish film is – Zombieland. Yep. Whenever we went camping, we would have movie night outside under the stars and watch this stupidly funny and totally loved flick. It was always best when newbies arrived because we would initiate them. After the first 15 minutes, they were ready to leave and we would tell them to stick with it. Next thing you know, we have new converts! We had kids (French, so it doesn’t have the same impact) going around camp saying: “Fucking clowns”… My family’s particularly favourite scene is after the girls steal Woody’s (Tallahassee’s) truck he says: “I want my Caddy back, stupid little bitches!” Long story short. We needed to taste the damn Twinkies that Tallahassee spends the whole apocalypse looking for. So we bought a few boxes. Verdict? Blech.

    Oh, and don’t be messing with my cuppa joe either…

    Q

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh snap!
        Hey Cincy . . I was WAITING for my posse to get here before I brought the heat on this punk from up North! (Don’t tell her I said that . .)
        But umm . . I haven’t had a deep fried Twinkie on a stick sprinkled with powder sugar either. So umm . . tomorrow is gonna be interesting.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I LOVE deep-fried pickles. The rest, you can keep. No wonder the average ‘Murican is obese. I know, I know, we Canucks are not far behind as we are, unfortunately, easily seduced by your ways…

        Like

      3. I have more … Bacon, cheeseburger, cheesecake, ice cream, cookie dough, beer, alcoholic drinks, look aid …. And the ever popular treat from the Iowa State Fair … Deep fried stick of butter on a stick.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I’ve seen that one . . buttah on a stick, and if that doesn’t say ‘Murica . . nothing does!
        The cookie dough is something I would try. I wouldn’t mess with my beer.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Q,

      Leave it to the sovereign (wannabe) nation’s best and brightest representative to bring it home like this!
      Well . . . I am not the biggest Twinkies fan. But the joke of it was that after they decided to stop making them several years back? I got to craving them. Mightily. I was willing to go dark web to find the fuckers. But then they brought them back (of course). And I grabbed up some and it was like . . meh.
      So now, I need to add something to them. And the peanut butter and jelly sounds like a great idea . . you gotta admit that much. I realize you Canadians are so much more advanced than us peeps on the south side, but come on . . .:)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. B,

        Dude. That is just plain nuts. But I get it. We have our nasty little chemically-created concoctions that will, on occasion coerce me into buying them. And there is nothing like it no longer being available for it to be even more desired.
        I’m all for PB &J but added to the über sweet of the Twinkie? You’re on your own…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. See? We have our differences after all.
        And now that I think about it, maybe Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups stuffed into the Twinkies . . . yeah . . . YEAH!

        Like

      3. We do. (Thank goodness, ‘coz it would be boring. And we don’t want that!)
        Mmm Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups… I’ll admit to loving thosr

        Liked by 1 person

    2. And I LOVE Zombieland! And yet . . I don’t remember that particular line, verbatim anyways. But I could watch that flick every single night.
      And how cool that you watched it under the stars! I love that!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Why did I know you LOVE it… 😉
        We watched that sucker so many times. And it’s so funny… You have to say it like Woody, in a super whiny voice!
        Very cool… (Not that bringing a TV camping is getting away from it all…)

        Liked by 1 person

    3. And one more, since it’s a running joke between us that we go long on our comment thread . .
      The Great Twinkies Famine lasted less than a year. It began right before Thanksgiving of 2012 and was back by the summer of 2013.
      And yes . . we were played by Hostess on this count. But hey . . if they had ANY soul whatsoevs . . . they would have thrown down this musical spill upon their fake news death. Just. Saying.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Americans actually dig it, being treated meanly. The same way they dig bacon WITH cheeseburgers, Forrest Gump, sliders, fireworks and Applebees.
        Strange lot, these Ameriganos . . .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I like Applebee’s! We always stopped here on our way to and from Jersey. We do bacon with cheeseburgers too…
        Come to think of it, other than being treated mean my, all the above applies…

        Liked by 1 person

    4. Oh shit . . . I forgot one a rambling thought from my brain . . and so why not play catch up?
      -You notice how in “The Walking Dead” they have Stormtrooper aim? I mean . . if someone shoots at you in WD, you ain’t gonna die.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That is the on-going joke. Actually, have you seen the “honest trailers”? This is the one for Season 1-3

        When I went to get this one, I saw there were more so… Imma go watch ’em. They are hi-la-rious!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Remember when Cayman used to do this? Well . . that SOB was stealing my thunder! And I love him for it.
      And you, mister . . . you have a lovely and blessed day tomorrow with your beautiful bride and those wonderful kids.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do remember Cayman doing that. I think I responded like I would have to him. (Yeah I loved him for it too.) Thank you for the wishes, Marc. I hope you have a Happy Easter as well. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I was just telling John how Cayman used to do these all the time. But he was me . . and so there’s that.
      I will definitely do these more often, Frank.
      And thank you for that. It made me smile.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Prior,

      Why hello! And yes, those voices have a way about them. And as for the Cheetos, I can’t imagine those tasty little buggers can be a good idea, lol.

      Muchas gracias to you, and Happy Easter

      Liked by 1 person

    1. WHA?????!!!!!
      The last payphone I used was on a gag. It was the phone booth that Harrison Ford used in “Witness” outside Zimmerman’s Hardware Store, in the heart of Amish country.
      And 451 . . oh yeah!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow. A pay phone in Amish country where they DON’T USE PHONES! Sweet irony!

        Yep. There’s an actual pay phone in a county park. I have a picture of it somewhere… I keep expecting them to take it out and I wanted to have proof of this ancient relic!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well that was many years ago, before everyone had a cell phone on them at all times. Now the Amish tote around i-Phones . . . I mean, I don’t have an i-Phone (my choice since I don’t like ’em) but still . . .

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You are amusing. You might be insane. You could be a wee bit normal. It’s probably why I dig reading your stuff. Ha… yeah back off the coffee already. I have it on the daily there and don’t plan to stop. And you are spot on with the Cheetos, and you could probably add Doritos to that as well. Hmm and public admittance to thievery.. love it. haha… 😉 thanks for letting those voices out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sassy,

      You’re back! And yes . . I might be a little unhinged. But I like to think it makes me interesting.
      And this whole coffee warning label has something to do with a specific ingredient and Cali being what Cali is, they MUST regulate everything! What happened to that whole laid back vibe?
      There is a video on YouTube where this dude lights up a Lays potato chip. The results are frightening. And we put this stuff in our bodies . . . yikes.
      I was a lightweight when it came to theft in my old neighborhood. One of my friends stole cars. Like, he was really good at it. I have a funny story about it that I might have to share some time. But yeah, a payphone was minor league stuff. Which is why the Rosetta Stone could have been my big score! Dangit!
      Thank you for being okay with the voices.

      Peace

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I would need helpers. I do have a few friends who would be down with helping me transport this thing, but I’m not sure if I want to owe those peeps anything, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

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