Our search for the perfect Cuban sammy does the ‘Rumba’

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Sup homies! Linds B here. A very close human of mine, Ali Clark, took a lovely little trip to Florida for her graduation! Naturally with her being in a part of the U.S. that Marco and I likely will not travel to (for the Cuban sammy challenge at least), we had to ask her to snag a Cubano while she was down there. And of course, she delivered! Here is her review on her Floridian Cuban experience!

Hello all – I am very new to doing the Lord’s work, so I’ll be trying my best to live up to the Cubano-aficionado’s review standards.

While here in Naples I was told to seek out the best Cuban sandwich around, so I did what any person today would do and googled “best Cuban sandwich in Naples”, bringing me glowing reviews of Rumba Cuban Cafe. This cafe is a family owned business with two locations both with a 4.5 star rating and a slew of reviews, many boasting about THE BEST CUBAN SANDWICH IN NAPLES!!!!! So naturally this was the place to check out.

Rumba’s was only about 2 miles from my Airbnb so I hopped in the car and got the only parking space left in the lot. This place was PACKED. So much so that you couldn’t even go inside, and I got the last table outside (lucky me, right?). Within 5 minutes we had 4 different waitresses ask us what we wanted to drink – I was almost afraid I was going to end up with 4 beers. I was a little afraid at first because their FAMOUS CUBAN SANDWICH wasn’t even on the menu… but luckily it was still something I could order. I didn’t come a whole 2 miles to leave empty handed ya know.

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When this experience started to go sour was when the wait for food started to take pretty long, almost 45 minutes. Granted, there were a lot of people there but I was hoping that meant that my Cuban was going to be made with a lil extra love… but I’m not so sure about that.

Now – I’ve probably only ever had one other Cuban in my life so I could be COMPLETELY wrong here – but this was not a good one, despite being told seven times by staff how amazing it was going to be. I’m not sure if they’re trained for this or how every waitress found out I had ordered a Cuban, but every single one of them felt the need to comment on this fantastic journey I was about to embark on. Out comes my sandwich, placed in front of me as if it is a bar of solid gold (I’m really not kidding about that, it felt like I was sinning to even touch it) and it looked pretty mediocre. I’m willing to look past a not so great exterior, because it’s what’s on the inside that counts right?? Well, this was very lackluster in that department as well.

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For the first bite I was expecting an even amount of everything since it’s technically the middle of the sandwich, but all I was left with was a mouthful of dry pork. The bread was reminiscent of cardboard left out on a humid day – not much of a crunch, not completely soggy- it was a weird in between. The pork never got juicy even though the whole sandwich was dripping in grease, so no matter how long I chewed, it was still what I imagine the consistency of mulch is. And lastly, the cheese was nowhere near melty enough. I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing I love more than super melty cheese (well I guess there are a few things but that’s pretty high on the list).

The Verdict

Overall it WAS a Cuban sandwich, it DID have all of the necessary ingredients but it lost points for all of the above issues. Out of 10 this Cuban unfortunately deserved a 4. It lost 1 point each for the bread and excess grease, and 2 points for dry pork and lack of melt.

Hopefully the next round of Cubans blows this one out of the water. Til next time!

Big thank you to Linds B for the intro and to the lovely Ali Clark for being our first ever correspondent here at sorryless! Linds and me gave her this assignment (begged her) at the last minute and she nailed it. After which she went skinny dipping and then had a champagne party to celebrate her college graduation.

Kurt Vonnegut would be proud.

38 thoughts on “Our search for the perfect Cuban sammy does the ‘Rumba’”

  1. B,
    What an excellent review – writing-wise. Not so sure Rumba’s will agree with the content. 😉 I think Ali did a fabulous and fair job. That review read like a story!
    You are surrounded by talented writers out there in PA
    D

    Liked by 1 person

    1. D,

      Fo shizzle!
      Ali nailed the review, and in case you didn’t notice (which of course you noticed) I didn’t provide a link to Rumba, lol.
      But the sammy looked good! What a shame . . . It’s the pork . . you GOTTA do the pork with love, or don’t do it.

      Like

      1. Q,

        I saw cheese. Gobs and gobs of cheese. Ali said the peeps working there knew she was doing a review on it so they were really selling it, lol. Everyone was coming up to the table to tell her how good the sammy is.
        I’m with you, where’s the ham and pickles? And dry pork? No thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. B,

        Cheese, I am sorry to say, ‘coz, I’m not one of those, does NOT make up for mediocre. I don’t do gobs of cheese… I do LOTS of pickles though 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I put cheese right into my eggs when making a sammy. I can’t say there’s gobs, but it is very cheesy because I use all creamy ingredients. From half and half to butter (in the scramble of the eggs) and the cheese right on the pan, frying up with the egg.
        Pickles huh? Nothing wrong with that.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. So do I. But I don’t get all excited when you see gobs of cheese stringing from slice to pizza like they show in commercials. Just too much. For MY tastes…
        I also put cheese in my scramble!
        And yes, pickles. Love pickles – not necessarily in my omelette, though, to be honest, I never tried! 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  2. With dry pork and so-so bread, it’s lucky to get a 4! Well done, Ali … and thanks Linds B and Marc for allowing her to pitch in. I guess the pressure is now on to find one in Cincinnati. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent review. I’m sure Ali didn’t realize her words would be digested around the world. After reading Ali’s review I told my pilot to divert away from Naples and head for Havanna instead. Burned more fuel but saved a palate. Thanks, all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I went out last night with Ali and Linds B, and she really got a kick out of doing that review. I told her she is roped in now!
      And look at you, traveling the world for a good Cuban sammy . . I love it.

      Thanks Boss

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Tails,

      Ali told me the pork was dry and the bread had the consistency of cardboard. No bueno.

      On to the next round!

      PS- Got together with Ali and Linds B last night and they had the Yorgos Cubano again . . so all thoughts of Rumba have been officially extinguished.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. enjoyed the review (and some food reviews are really about Godly work just sayin – so good point)

    also – loved how this sandwich earned a four and the review felt well done – like some people give everythign a 7 or a B –
    so to see the 4 – with reasons why – I say right on – and maybe they can improve it –

    BTW nice photos too

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Prior,

      Ali is officially a reviewer now, because you’re right . . to score it a 4 and then to back it up? All props to her on that.
      Not only has she become one of our food critics, she also takes fab pics!

      Thanks for the chime.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We are all about the fun here. After our Cuban sammy adventures are complete, we are going to go in search of the most succulent crab-cakes. And after that . . we are being told that wings gotta happen.

        Liked by 1 person

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