There’s Something About Mary- A Prompt Challenge

Posted on by sorryless

Welcome to Sunday, and a brand spanking new prompt challenge entry we like to call “Word UP!”, on account of the fact this ain’t no ordinary prompt challenge.

Back in the day (a couple weeks ago) we used to host prompt challenges that involved a single word. And then the Irish Mafia (Karen Craven of Table For One) made the decision to expand the business. She joined forces with the Queen of the North (Dale Rogerson of A Dalectable Life) and the prompt challenge would never be the same.

Me? I’m just the intrepid reporter who was recruited by these lovely word bosses, and Imma do my damndest to keep up. Same goes for Frank of A Frank Angle, who shattered the last prompt challenge by delivering up all the words in half the count!

This particular prompt came about out of an email exchange I was having with Karen about water and Twinkies.There are eleven words involved; one for each commandment and a bonus power-ball word. They are as follows . . .

Jesus, holy water, drive-thru, twinkies, wine, dinosaurs, passion, busybody, clubhouse, cross, absolution

Posting this on Sunday just might make me a heathen, but I don’t think God is going to be scoring me based on a silly old post. Not when he has the likes of Pat Robertson and Joel Osteen to deal with. Those peeps best live it up on God’s dollar while they can, because if there is a judgement day to be had . . well, it ain’t gonna be pretty for ’em. Anyways . . here’s my story.

                                       There’s Something About Mary

Joe wanted absolution. Having his good name stapled to a cross ever since Conception-Gate, he figured it was time. Being the ‘earthly’ father to Jesus Christ came with more pitfalls than disputing the existence of dinosaurs at the Smithsonian.

The kid from Nazareth knew a thing or two about turning water into wine, having transformed his passion for carpentry into an online goliath. His marriage to the Virgin Mary- her rapper name- was holy water to the unwashed masses who loved their busybody news served up in drive-thru fashion, and they made news right out of the clubhouse.

Post-divorce, Joe lost the spotlight while Mary partied with Joan Osborne in the Hollywood Hills and Jesus sat court side at the Garden. Now, Joe was writing a tell-all pilot for Pontius Studios.

Joe always said life was like a box of Twinkies. The stories are tasty and the guilt immaculate.

Published by sorryless

106 thoughts on “There’s Something About Mary- A Prompt Challenge”

  1. Joe. The forgotten soul. Loved reading about his modern day life as the once member of the Holy Family. We all have our roles in life, and some aren’t valued and are taken for granted. I loved waking up to this on a rainy Sunday. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Irish Mafia,

      Joe was the theological equivalent of Pete Best. The band dug him just fine, but the band also just . . yanno, kinda didn’t need him in the grand scheme of things.
      It was gonna be Joe’s Revenge, but then I thought about Mary and well . . .

      Liked by 1 person

      2. I was halfway through this prompt when I kinda got stuck. I exclaimed “Jesus” and lightning struck right outside my window! I figured it was time for bourbon at that point . . . (The following is an embellishment. No actual smiting occurred in the production of this post).

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh B,

    You kill me! You have such a way of telling a story. This is so funny, so good And you are so not going to hell…bu
    t if you are, most of us will be joining you, anyway…

    Loved this,

    Twinkies and crosses and living on the edge,

    Q

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Q,

      So the fiery pits are going to be uber booked, Let’s all make a deal and the first one down there grabs a best available. I really would love a volcano front beach house but I realize that’s probably not happening . . .

      Like

      2. Q,

        I never thought about just how potent charm is going to be down there! Yeah . . . YEAH! And charm times all of us? We’ll be living large!

        Like

    1. Rochelle,

      He did, didn’t he? The guy never had a chance once they took the exit ramp and decided to spend the night in Bethlehem. But to his credit, he did okay for himself despite all the hullabaloo surrounding his famous child.
      If you ask me, Baby Mama never would have gotten off this saintly in today’s TMZ universe!

      Thanks for chiming in on this!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Loved the way you weaved characters from long ago into a modern seating. Courtside seats and Twinkies are two great examples. And for the forgotten member of the family, its great that Joe must find peace and comfort in Twinkies. Wonder if he would enjoy a deep-fried Twinkie injected with Gran Marnier and coated in chocolate.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Cincy,

      I think Joe would be down with such a thing, just fine! And I know it’s on the docket for yours truly. Inspired idea, really.
      Yeah, I could see Joe as a theological Pete Best. Doing his darndest to get noticed on the other side. I know Charlie Rose would interview him, but I’m not sure the TMZ crowd would care much for his story . . .

      Liked by 2 people

      2. You are correct! And isn’t there just a ‘lil irony to that? I mean . . Joseph does possess the ability to improve the fortunes of those around him. It’s almost saintly . . .

        Liked by 1 person

      4. He had a good run, that Charlie. Which gets me thinking of a completely unrelated topic. How DID Pete Rose get coined Charlie? As in Charlie Hustle? Was it simply a matter of it flowing better than Pete Hustle?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Whitey Ford and Mickey Mantle gave him the name … but why Charlie? I don’t know … Maybe that was a name players used to call those who overly hustled. … meaning they are all Charlies.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. She served him wine purchased at a drive-thru on her way home from art show at a local clubhouse. Known as a busybody of a different meaning – she looked into his eyes to see if he was ready – then reached deep into her passion playbook to a level not meant for dinosaurs. She pleasures him with the Twinkies Cross to the point he screams, “Oh Jesus!” Before leaving, she sprays him aromatic holy water. The Painted Lady strikes again without absolution.

    Liked by 3 people

    4. Frank! You are getting so bad… in a wonderful way!
      This is a side of you… ahem… I can see why you keep “hiding” on Marc’s blog to write these.
      “busybody of a different meaning” – love that. And would love to know just what, ahem, position the Twinkies Cross is…Inquiring minds want to know…

      Liked by 3 people

      7. Dale,
        I was at work on the first reply … so … I see you & Marc liked the same line. Regarding the Painted Lady’s maneuver, well ….. something best let be unknown. After all, doesn’t the possibility exist she killed him?

        Liked by 2 people

      8. Frank,
        We did… go figure 😉
        And yes, it could be anything – which is why it is so good!
        Lookit you… “I don’t write fiction very well” – my butt!

        Liked by 2 people

      15. Clarification: usually it’s thank you notes that I trash. Even if I screw up what I write in a greeting card, I copy edit myself, move past the correction and sign it. There’s no do overs when cards cost $3+

        Liked by 1 person

      18. Truth! I want it to be the most meaningful sounding shit ever. But hells . . I just paid five bucks for the card! I should just sign it! lol

        Like

    1. Well, the time limit post can work, but we need to probably schedule it for next week seeing as how Imma post on Tuesday and then Dale has FF.
      I have some ideas though, I mean, I WOULD try it. Not sure how good it’d be, but that might be funny as all get out too.

      Liked by 1 person

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