Feeling like a Boss

The best laid plans never quite catch up with the rest of you, which is why I changed up my Friday post. It was a game time decision, made possible by a cranky back and the worst mob movie I’ve seen since Mamma Mia. 

So Imma quick fix you a Gotti film review, and then Imma follow that up by talking about politics, religion and sex. That’s three taboo subjects and two Imma’s, which is a fairly well rounded post, dont’cha think? And as always, please send any complaints you may have to the following link.

For reals, Gotti is such a waste of time that to offer up a “Spoiler Alert” would be absurd, not to mention hilarious. Hell, to devote an entire post to this flick would be actionable.

GOTTI MOVIE REVIEW: (Because why should I suffer alone?)

Mob movies are like pizza. Even the bad ones possess a come on that green lights your dig. And then there’s Gotti- an hour and fifty two minute enema that is the worst movie idea I’ve had since the WWE produced See No Evil.

John Travolta plays John Gotti, which might’ve seemed like a good idea five minutes after Pulp Fiction but in 2018 feels cartoonish. Evidently, it was a package deal because Travolta’s wife, Kelly Preston, plays Victoria Gotti. And not to be outdone, William DeMeo is cast as Sammy Gravano because of his uncanny resemblance to a rat. Sorry Mama DeMeo . . .

Even if the cast would’ve been up to the task, the concrete boot of a script was fucking misery. It jumped around more than J. Lo’s booty on a roller coaster. I kept waiting for this thing to turn into a musical, or a comedy . . both. Even the fail safe to this epic disaster- the soundtrack- got it wrong.

The Gotti family gave this movie its blessing because it portrays the former boss of bosses in a favorable light. And as a kid who grew up in their Howard Beach neighborhood, I ain’t got a problem with that perspective. Without going all soapbox here, I miss John Gotti and I know he deserved better than this movie gave him. But with all respect, that’s a post that gets made all by its lonesome.

Now on to my trifecta . . .

Politics: I predict Urban Meyers’ Buckeyes squad will be kept out of the college football playoffs, no matter what happens this weekend. The powers that be who run the sport didn’t have the balls to kick his ass to the sidelines for an entire season for aiding and abetting a wife beater, so they’ll hook this crook Sammy Gravano style. Because the NCAA suits ain’t down with the optics of a bad guy like Meyer hoisting their trophy in January, so he won’t. It’s filthy and dirty and entirely political, and oh fucking well. This entire episode is shameful, including all those Ohio State fans who really believe Meyer is the victim here.

Religion: So Bill Maher threw shade at Marvel fans recently, and the internet went Luca Brasi on his ass. Personally, I’m not down with the comic book culture myself and Maher wasn’t dissing Stan Lee in the doing. He was simply marveling (pun alert) at how these fan peeps are more engaged in make believe worlds than the real live one. It’s his opinion, and it doesn’t denigrate the great Stan Lee in the least.  These fan peeps can be a tad pious at times . . .

Sex: I had a week’s worth of turkey sex, and before you sic PETA on my ass, lemme ‘splain. Fucking turkey! Next year, Imma make lasagna. I can reheat that shit for weeks. Because there’s only so much turkey re-purposing a boy can do. I made three different incarnations of turkey salad, because duh. Then there were the turkey tacos (dry), turkey nachos (cheesy) and turkey Reubens (just right). My favorite turkey creation of the week was a Capriotti’s standard called “The Bobbie”. The blueprint is turkey, cranberry and stuffing on a hoagie roll with mayo and gravy. I abstained on the gravy because I wanted to keep things sensible.

The Verdict? Boom met Chicka Boom and they knocked boots with my taste buds. It was a glorious interlude from the spirits of Black Friday deals past and the wrath of credit card bills future.

Fuhgeddaboudit!

61 thoughts on “Feeling like a Boss”

  1. B,

    Two Immas and three taboos in one post? Let ‘er rip, you wild thing!

    I almost – “almost” tempted to see “Gotti” just because of this post. Almost. No. I have nothing but bad about the whole thing. And I love John Travolta. Well, he has had some moments.

    Politics: Why, oh why is this guy not picking up trash on the side of the road?

    Religion: Well hell… I guess I’m with Bill Maher – some peeps are off their wagon when it comes to their superheroes. I love that he had no clue that there was a backlash at all!

    Sex: That is sad that you had a week’s worth of bad sex with only one orgasm in the lot. You would have needed one with more experience to get your taste buds dancing for the rest of the week. Just sayin’. And there are those, like yourself, who are not into turkey so I wonder why you put yourself through the pain in the first place – pretending there are no other family members involved who just might love the stuff, of course. I say yes, you should do that. Do a lasagna and save the turkey for the others. Even better? Get yourself invited where they may be serving the bird and leave the leftovers to them!

    You da boss….

    Q

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Q,

      I am the master of my disasters, the deadpan with the plan, the boss of all the voices in my head! Oh . . . sorry, I’m in “Creed” mode.

      I think Gotti is a movie everyone should see. If they feel like seeing how mob movies shouldn’t be made. It makes Casino look like an Oscar winner. And Travolta, yes, I dig him. But this project didn’t work. At all.

      Urban Meyer might just ‘retire’ for a year or two before coming back to bastardize another program, all in the name of winning games. Which he can do, and which is all that matters.

      Maher was right, and he never should’ve issued an apology, because he wasn’t dissing Stan Lee.

      I had more than one, but the Bobbie was the best of ’em fo sho. And next year Imma make my lasagna, dammit.

      To bosses!

      B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Master of your disasters… hey, own them!

        I tell ya. I am actually considering it when it comes one for free 😉

        Urban Meyer. I’ll never understand.

        Maher was absolutely right and should not have spent another moment on this subject.

        The Bobbie does sound deelish – and I actually LIKE turkey. Lasagna – with beef…. or turkey? 😉

        To bosses who own their bossmanship.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I own ’em all right. Only things I actually own, lol.

        Gotti is worth it from the standpoint that you can half ass pay attention to it and chortle at the stupid shit that happens when you do pay attention. Yes, chortling happens when you watch this thing.

        I hope Meyer just retires.

        I HATE when these peeps offer up apologies on the other side of something they meant to say in the first place. Hey, if I was a comic book fan I would simply disagree with Maher and that would be that.

        Lasagna, straight up babay!

        To all bosses, except Bruce. . .

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Chortle has been duly placed in the book of good words, coo? 😉

        As for that Meyer guy, Ohio taxpayers are gonna be on the hook for a boatload of moolah owed to Urban. At the very least, he should name his boat the O-Hi-O or something . . .

        Like

      4. Shoot! Hit ‘send’ too quickly….

        I HATE that too. And frankly Maher surprised me by doing so. Man up. Say you meant what you said and it has nothing to do with Lee…

        Lasagna it is…

        B for Boss now… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yeah I don’t understand the Maher apology, at all. What in the blessed hell was he thinking? Or not thinking? If anything, maybe say something to the effect, “Stan Lee’s contributions were too many to mention and may he rest peacefully inside the arms of the cosmos he brought us to. And as for his fan boys with delicate temperaments . . . change your fucking diapers!”

        Never a bad time for lasagna, I say. But seriously, I needs to change up on the turkey. OR add to it . . .

        B for BOOM!

        Like

      6. Nope. Especially him. Oh well. We all have our weak moments.
        And yes. Stop your bitching and moaning already. You don’t have any super powers to use 😉

        Must agree. Thought I was going to be able to eat MY leftover lasagna but my boys beat me to it!
        Gonna have to make more…

        BOOM it is!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. It was more of a stupid moment. We all have those too, I’m guessing.

        I work with peeps who are middle aged men living in the Stan Lee universe. They truly believe that ‘choosing sides’ has something to do with Marvel vs DC Comics.

        That settles it. I’m making lasagna rolls next week!

        Booyah!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. We all do. I’m imagining 😉

        That just kills me!! They really get “involved” don’t they, those rabid fans?

        Ooooh… Rotolos…. I’m gonna wait till the next week as we had lasagna for a week.

        Bingo!

        Liked by 1 person

      9. You’re a writer, imagining is what you do. It’s your creative ink.

        I know a dude who was pissed at his girlfriend for thinking that Batman was a Marvel character. The nerve of her!

        Yummo!

        Bazinga!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I live smack-dab in the middle of two huge fan bases. What are 3 differences between Ohio State football fans and Uni. of Kentucky basketball fans? (answer later in this comment)

    Which is better to watch: The Gotti movie or J-Lo on a rollercoaster?

    Your turkey woes reminded me of this commercial from the past.

    Answer: The colors the wear, the ball they worship, and one has teeth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. J-Lo on a rollercoaster. Unless this is a trick question. In which case, yeah . . same answer.

      I didn’t get the link. I got something about a high rise.

      And Frank, you LOVE this joke. LOL.

      I hope Meyer just retires. Seriously.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Try this: Next time you think you want to watch a John Travolta movie, watch the Scientology doc “Going Clear” (again?) and/or Leah Remini’s show Scientology and the Aftermath. Way better that any (all?) Travolta flicks.

    I like the complaint link. I may start using it, daily.

    You have a Capriotti’s near you? Now, you’re taking me back to my First State days… … …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did watch an episode or two of Remini’s show, yikes!

      I used the White House page to send a suggestion. I told them a moat would be WAY more cost effective than a stupid wall, and it would also be much cooler. They never got back to me. Hmmmm. I guess this administration ain’t interested in saving us taxpayers money.

      No Capriotti’s, but I’m familiar with it. A friend of mine suggested the Bobbie, and I must say, I enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We can’t use a moat anywhere. Someone will tell Orange that moats are usually around castles and then he’ll want one around the White House, then he’ll get a BK crown and declare himself king. Maybe that’s why they’re resisting your otherwise great idea!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dang, I watch Game of Thrones and it never occurred to me. But you’re absolutely right. I mean, personally I think the dude DOES walk around the White House with one of those BK crowns on saying “King Me!” to anyone he passes.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. We do a nasty thing called Turkey Devonshires (Big Pittsburgh item). Toast on the bottom, crisp bacon next, turkey next, cover in a butter and flower cream sauce that has swiss and cheddar cheese, and cayenne pepper. Top off with a slice of bacon. The thing is put together, baked for ten minutes and then put under the broiler for another two. I double dog guarantee you’ll back off the lasagna after one fork full.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Do you really think this WH reads comments (or anything else for that matter)? Man, that Bobbie sammie makes me want to stop being a vegetarian. This time of year is the only time of year that I miss ‘flesh’ foods and turkey was always the best of them all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. If you would please make this one into a podcast, I’m sure I would most certainly pee. I could barely hold it. I can’t even choose a best line because nearly every sentence had me laughing. Way to Shake it up! Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had SO much leftover turkey! Prob was, it was a huge bird and my daughter and niece didn’t eat any of it. My son and his new bride ‘paced’ themselves since they were doing two Thanksgivings and my sister is eating more sensibly. AND we had ham as well, which ain’t help. So I had everyone divvy up the ham because I didn’t want any and then I was left with WAY too much turkey!
      Sorry for the ramble, but I wish I’d kept more of the sides . . .

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow what a feast! I think I need to start cooking two more modest sized birds then I’d have some left overs. This year I could only score about a 27lb one. Who doesn’t eat turkey ??? How “un” American haha and yes, the sides are those tasty morsels we grab when we want a snack or it’s the perfect thing to go with leftover bird. Hope you don’t start growing feathers!

        Liked by 1 person

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