Reading up on the news is like receiving a personalized greeting card from Nietzsche in that there’s a one hundred percent chance you are gonna be exposed to some truly depressing shit.
Unlike with old Friedrich, most of the news ain’t worth the time spent teasing the abyss of our very souls. Like, I’m trying to be sympathetic to the ‘worst year’ of Ariana Grande’s life . . but she’s like twelve . . so there’ll be better years ahead, okay? And when Trump Jr. says the socialists are gonna have us eating dogs, I feel as if the boy needs to go back to Finishing school. Then there’s the recent survey which reports that seventy seven percent of millennials would give up booze and forty four percent would give up sex for an entire year. In favor of Amazon. Which means that if Ian Dury had been a millennial, he would’ve penned one of the all time most forgettable songs of a generation.
So when the news gives you lemons, tell the news to go fuck itself. Which is what I did this morning when I culled five good feels stories from the dumpster fire of breaking bad news that predominates our frequencies. I am calling it my Top Five Heroes Of The Week. The order I have followed here is for the purpose of dramatic crescendo only, because all of these stories rocked my casba equally so.
That’s the problem with good news, it ain’t need headlines.
5- A Tyler Perry “Lay” Up: Lord knows I have panned this dude countless times for that whole unfunny Madea series of movies. But this thing he did recently, where he paid off more than four hundred and thirty thousand dollars in Christmas layaways? Is the reason for the season. Righteous!
4- The “Advent”ures of The Notorious Q: Her real name is Dale, and her blog, A Dalectable Life, is like a supper table where everyone is invited and the stories are always entertaining. She’s doing a series of Advent posts this month in which she ‘calls out’ a different blogger every day. Yule love it!
3- A Champion Off The Court Too: I figured the only person Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors had to listen to these days is his accountant. Turns out the two time MVP and three time NBA champion also listened to 9 year old Riley Morrison when she wrote to tell him that girls sizes in sneakers do matter. This is a sneaky great story from a really cool cat.
2- Home Is Where His Heart Is: What if you don’t have a big Under Armour deal like Curry? What if you have nothing at all, and you find $17,000 dollars? Kevin Booth answered that question when he found a bag full of cash that was just begging for the homeless thirty two year old to take it. Instead, he handed it over to a volunteer at the food bank he visited. I can’t pun this one, I got nothing.
1- A Lesson In Civility: I wouldn’t have blamed the Bush family for playing keep away with President Trump this week. The passing of their family patriarch, George H.W. Bush, was a time for family and friends; of which Trump is neither. Yes, he’s a sitting President, but he’s also a purveyor of pissed off rants, many of which have been directed at the Bush family.
No matter. Because sometimes, doing the right thing matters more than doing what is understandable and justified. The Bush family provided a much needed lesson in civility to a boss who doesn’t behave like a leader. And while it’s certain the lesson won’t stick with him, it sure does with me. Because sometimes, the best revenge is not wanting revenge at all.
Go in peace, look for the heroes.