The news sucked this week. Retail stocks are on the down slope after Macy’s, Kohl’s and Target bit the big one in the fourth quarter. In sports, everyone wants to get paid, but nobody wants to run to first base. Meanwhile, Washington continues to fuck up a glass of water.
So Imma scrounge up some heroes we can lean on for a couple minutes time. Here’s a top five.
Book ’em Andrew: The star quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts has lots of stuff going on. He’s healthy again after having missed twenty six games over the past three seasons. He played like an MVP in leading his team from the abyss of a 1-5 start to a postseason berth, and he has the Colts playing white hot ball right now. Add to that one of his many adoring fans created a hysterical Twitter page in his honor . . and oh yeah, he has a book club too!
A voracious reader, Andrew shares his love (and reading list) with fellow bibliophiles whilst also visiting schools to get the word(s) out. No matter what happens with the Colts this weekend, Luck is already winning. Big. A tip of the hat to Frank for turning me onto this cool story.
Shut Down, Not Shut Out: Did you realize the Coast Guard peeps aren’t getting paid during the government shutdown? I didn’t, until I read this article from NPR. Undeterred, these peeps banded together to help their own. They distributed more than thirty thousand pounds of groceries to Coast Guard personnel at a makeshift pantry set up in Boston. The dope show in Washington could learn a lot about leadership from these guys and gals.
And somewhere, Freddie is smiling: I didn’t catch the Golden Globes last week, but I was thrilled to hear that Bohemian Rhapsody won for Best Picture and Rami Malek won Best Actor. It’s a wonderful run up to the Oscars, but really . . win or lose, this film has more than done its great good work for kids of all ages who love music that breaks all the rules. And it made me think . . . man, if Freddie were alive today? He would’ve been a home run get for Oscar host, huh?
When Stickups Go Hilariously Wrong: What do you get when you cross a mugger with a fake gun and a mixed martial arts fighter? A major ass kicking. Which is what UFC fighter Polyana Viana laid down on a would be thief in Rio De Janeiro. One minute the dude was asking that time honored question of all muggers. . . You got the time? And the next minute Viana was like Bitch, time is up! To be a fly on the wall when this dude realized he’d chosen the wrong benefactor. Check that . . never mind. The wall was probably splattered with this guy’s DNA.
You’ve probably gathered by now that I have a thing for ladies who can fight. It’s not a fetish though. It’s more of an insatiable appreciation. Yeah . . that’ll work.
Turning a new Leaf: As an NFL quarterback, Ryan Leaf was an insufferable loser. The number 2 overall pick of the San Diego Chargers in the 1998 NFL Draft, Leaf was a fucking mess from the get. He never fulfilled his potential on the field and he got in trouble off it, and before too long he was out of the league. And in prison.
On the flip side, Leaf’s sordid past is feeling like ancient history. Forty years old and in recovery, he is the program ambassador for Transcend Recovery Community- a sober living environment in Los Angeles. He frequently shares the story of his addiction to painkillers and his subsequent suicide attempt with students from across the country. And just recently, Leaf paid the mortgage for a furloughed park ranger.
Fame and fortune was never going to be the answer to the question of who Ryan Leaf truly was. And really, thank God for that.
Peace and heroes, kids.