Fucking Patriots.
They make me want to dabble in communism. They make me feel like the Brits were misunderstood. They make me want to subvert the steeple chase of a nut that Thomas Paine broke bread with once upon a time. The one that made babies with capitalism and stirred up tasty drinks in the form of monthly baby daddy payments to Uncle Sam’s house of rocket fuel.
This ain’t bitterness talking. It’s . . . wait for it . . . common sense.
How do we find ourselves here for the third time in five years? Because the Patriots are more buttoned up than Luca Brasi on a Smith and Wesson bender. While rival clubs engage in trade demands, holdouts and the kind of drama that would make Meryl Streep get all hot and bothered, the Patriots simply are. They are not exciting like the Chiefs, they do not possess the soap opera twists and turns of the Steelers and they are nowhere near as pretty as the Rams. All they’re good at is winning the last game of the year. And to that end, they are really, really good.
I’ll take Marco’s loose thoughts for a dollar, Alex . . .
- Tony Romo is a maestro when it comes to calling a football game. And you know why that is? Because the dude is unpretentious, that’s why. He refuses to chime and dime on the dilly of the current template. Where “running north to south” and “going vertical” are downhill slang terms used by the so called experts who feel the need to justify the Armani. Until they’re cut loose for being nickels on a dollar’s worth of investment. Romo is different. He’s bright, he’s real, he’s effusive and he knows what is going down. On a Buffalo Springfield level of expertise.
- Sean McVay didn’t lose his smarts overnight. But its funny how a dude twice his age kicked his ass in the biggest game of the year. Convincingly. Will rival executives have an “oh shit!” moment as a result? Because there were a lot of dudes hired because they worked under McVay or they were FB friends with McVay or they rode an elevator with him once. Moral of the story? Winning organizations act. Everyone else reacts.
- My silver lining in Sunday night’s shit show was Brian Flores, the brand new head coach of the Miami Dolphins. His defense looked like the ’85 Bears. Now, he goes from a team that does its business the right way to the South Beach Social Club. I believe he’s up for the challenge, but time will tell.
- Someone please tell Adam Levine that showing your nipples ain’t worth the price of admission unless you’re Janet Jackson.
- Price of admission is Gladys Knight. She is velvet to the senses when her syllables take flight. I remember seeing her in Vegas and marveling at how she turned every single song into Friday night.
- Remember back when everybody was bemoaning the lack of defense after that 54-51 game the Rams and Chiefs played earlier in the year? Peeps insisted the game had morphed into the NBA. Welp, the Vegas books put the over under for total points scored in the Super Bowl at 56 points . . to which these offensive juggernauts answered with 16 points. I guess defense still matters, after all.
- Tom Brady looked like Mark Sanchez for most of that game. But for a couple passes in the fourth quarter that were bread basket perfect. Some players, such as Jared Goff, find it damn near impossible to face up to the big moment. Brady lives for it.
- I dunno if the Saints would have been able to fare any better than the Rams against that suddenly tenacious Patriots defense. But I do know they could have done better than three points. Hell, the Dolphins could have done better than three points.
- It’s pretty sad when, up until the fourth quarter the highlight of the game was a punt. I believe it was a record setting one, but I forget and you know why? Because it’s a punt . . .
- It almost looked as if the Patriots D knew what was coming before the Rams snapped the ball. Which, if you’re a follower of the NFL, is always going to make you wonder, given the organization’s rap sheet.
- Bravo to the Swiss Army Knife known as Julian Edelman for being the MVP not named Brady. Edleman missed the first four games of the season due to a PED suspension. If this were baseball it would have been a major story but in football, it’s an accepted fact.
And my one final thought on the national nightmare that is the New England Patriots.
They’re gonna have to be taken out the way Luca Brasi was taken out. By a band of young turks that wield knives on a doctorate level of Dante. The end of this reign must be certain, swift and surgical. And make no mistake, they will not surrender until the throne is taken from their cold dead hands. The team that slays this dragon is gonna have to do what the Patriots coaches are doing right now, as we speak.
Start planning.
Mr. Romo bugged me for not wearing socks with a suit and dress shoes, but after watching however long I’ve been alive number of football games here and there, I learned something NEW! He explained that at 15 seconds on the play clock, all the techy whisper in their ears crap gets cut off, leaving the players to, you know, PLAY THE GAME, without coaches telling them how. Fascinating! I always hated the idea that the coaches, etc. were moving the pieces, if you will. Now I know, from 15 and under, THEY CAN’T.
I stopped watching not long after the punt and enjoyed the puppy bowl. Way more action. 59 to 51 — high scoring game. Vegas shoulda bet on that one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You football fashionista you! I didn’t notice the socks thing. Or whether Tony wore a suit. Us dudes are pretty clueless on such matters sometimes.
Yeah, Tony’s commentary is no nonsense, nuts and bolts stuff. He doesn’t beat us over the head with useless stats or annoy us with pompous boasts. And when he gets something right, he never says “Told ya so”. How refreshing.
The Puppy Bowl would have been a much better option. All we did was grub out and shoot the shit for three hours.
59-51?! They should have preempted the Super Bowl with THAT coverage.
LikeLiked by 2 people
He’s like Simms, but not as, um, unenlightened… OK, he just doesn’t sound stupid. There, I said it. Phil Simms sounds stupid.
The Puppy Bowl was fantastic! The hamster keeping score (running on his wheel facing each team’s way to make the scores rise…) got quite the workout. I would have been hanging with the kittens in the Temptations Treat sky box. Twas some good competition between the puppies. Good to chow down on homemade stromboli with.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You know Tara, maybe some day you’ll tell people what you REALLY think.
Maybe they could start using the hamsters in the NFL game? It would be a marked improvement over what we got going on right now.
Kittens in the sky box, love it! All that AND homemade Stromboli? Now we are talking chica!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know, I beat around the bush too much, eh? 🙂 I used to get paid for my opinions (essay/commentary writer). Now I just spew them for free!
The hamsters would make football much more watchable. P.S. I watch the games mostly so I can make the signals and call the penalties. I’m, like, the 12th man, if the 12th man was a referee.
Shaaaaa. Twas awesome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And we are all the grateful recipients! 🙂
Welp, I think there are going to be palenty of referee openings come this NFL offseason after that shit show of a performance in some big games.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you are 😉
I can do it! But I will totes call alllllll kinds of penalties, real or not against those cheating Pats.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The gauntlet has officially been thrown down. Brady beware!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband said he was surprised that Romo turned out to be a decent announcer – and Tara – his outfit was “off” – shame on him for that
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your husband and I agree on that front. And thank you for agreeing on his fashion “sense.” 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for the reply and wishing you a good weekend
LikeLiked by 2 people
Right back atcha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And to you as well…
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂
LikeLike
Thank you for this post. I felt immature because I almost did not even want to watch the super bowl this year because of them being there.
And whew –
My big concern
You know how lance Armstrong kept winning and we found out later the truth about cheating.
Well I heard someone say that this better not happen with Thsinteam (cannot say their name)
But wouldn’t that be super sad to find out there was more than deflate gate and more than filming other teams –
Ugh
And nothing agains the quarter back – he takes care of his health and has talent –
But a little suspicious at the moment
LikeLiked by 1 person
Prior,
That’s not immaturity, it’s attrition. This Patriots thing is the longest running show in the history of sports. They are beating the crap out of the old Dylan song about how the times are a changing.
The deflate gate I thought, was nonsense. The spying was quite serious stuff, after which, there is always going to be a suspicion surrounding this team. Which, they brought on themselves.
Brady doesn’t play like he’s forty one. And yeah, like I said, the team has done nothing to assuage our suspicions in the past, so this is what happens.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And time will tell – there is an old saying about how truth always surfaces – and so we shall see…so props for now
And on a side note – as a coping mechanism I am still so glad the eagles finally got their rings – hah
LikeLiked by 1 person
The truth does make the scene, sooner or later. You’re right about that.
Can you imagine if they did find something? I would have to think not only would it affect the Patriots organization. It would have to have repercussions on the league as well.
Living in Eagles country, I have to say, the fans have lost that nasty edge ever since their team won.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Time will tell (and my mom would say “your sin will Find you out” which I think applies here)
And thanks for a post that some of us really needed for post game adaptive coping
🏈
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very smart woman.
And de nada!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊⭐️
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
B,
Fucking Patriots.
Like Tara, I had no idea there was a fifteen-second timer where the quarterback actually has to work on his own.
Adam Levine can keep his titties. They ain’t nothing to see and I dunno that a man trying to prove a point will work in this instance. Another woman? Now we’re making a statement. And honest-to-gawd, who gives a flying fuck? Apparently everyone and their brother.
Super Bowl. It was the Punting Bowl! Thank gawd for those commercials – and when I realised I had forgotten to turn it onto CBS, I wanted to smack myself. I missed the first half by watching the boring Canadian ones (only a few years ago did an uproar cause the change in simulcasting….
So, ya. Someone, ANYONE, please take ’em out. And to give credit where it is due, ya gotta admit, the man does not look or act 41… don’t think I was anywhere near that level of fitness at 41…way back when.
Q
LikeLiked by 2 people
Q
I needs to chapterize my replies to this fab comment. So don’t be thinking I’m going abruptly on this. It’s just that, at my age I need to pace myself.
Yes, there is a fifteen second rule. And no, I don’t think it’s necessary since most QB’s who know their shit (Brady, Rodgers, Brees, et al) probably ain’t even listening to their coach jabber on. I betcha they’re tuned into Spotify. And how cool would that be? Surround sound in your helmet?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love when you do that 😉
At your age… uh huh…
Well, no. I should think the coach way over there on the sidelines ain’t got much to say, really… at this point. but hey, what do I know? And that might explain certain players lack of concentration. They gots to bring that volume down a notch!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I look at some coaching staffs and I wonder if they’re calling plays into the game or ordering from a Five Guys menu. Both . . maybe both.
And I’m 52 going on 45ish. Not horrible.
LikeLiked by 1 person
buahahaha!
Not too shabby, you ask me 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You gonna make me blush.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You look good in pink 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I might have to buy a guayabera in that color . . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you should!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d have to order it on Amazon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Special order!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wanna pic when you get it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too! LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Buahaha!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Huh. Maybe not.
https://www.amazon.com/Cubavera-Sleeve-Rayon-Blend-Contrast-Insert/dp/B01D50Y22I/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&qid=1549415157&sr=8-19&keywords=pink+guayabera+shirts+for+men
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not quite the shade of pink I had in mind…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was the closest I came to something I might actually wear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure you’ll look mahvellous dahlink!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve got a biased opinion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I might.😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, Adam Levine doesn’t do titties very well does he. Music, eh. He’s got a few catchy tunes I guess. We were giving Big Papi shit for owning his CD’s, calling him a ten year old girl. LOL.
Apparently, Levine pissed off a lot of peeps by not following through on his Sponge Bob act. The kids at work were telling me all about it. I am woefully out of the loop.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe he does to the chicks who actually find him sexy. Which would not be me. I don’t dig on skinny, tatted all over dudes. But hey, that’s me. Buahaha! Poor Big Papi – you guys are just mean! Even if you’re right…. I don’t hate all their tunes but I can do without.
What was he supposed to do?
LikeLiked by 1 person
This whole body art thing really has gotten out of hand. I appreciate a cool tat as much as the next person, but it’s an obsession with some peeps.
You dont know the half of it! LOL.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One, two, three… but these sleeves and all over … for me, nope.
I guess not. I shall not lose any sleep over it, though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. The sleeves thing, I can’t imagine getting a sleeve. Not even a short sleeve.
Hey, I picked him up and drove him. I fed him and alls he had to put in for was a six pack. So there’s that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope. I couldn’t even do a shoulder.
That you did. All that for a six-pack, eh? Sounds like he got a helluva good deal. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could do a bicep. Maybe. Not the whole bicep. Like a half dollar dollop on the bicep mayhaps . . .
He made out well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL – and what would it be?
LikeLiked by 1 person
NOT a Cuban sammy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh hell naw! Unless that’s what you really want…. I’ll respect your choice…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was Linds B’s idea. She thought we could get matching tats. I told her, it was fine for her, seeing as how she has several. But my first one cannot be a Cuban sammy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And you’re not 22. It must be something well thought out. I should think. But then I’m too chicken-shit to get one or am not convinced enough…
LikeLiked by 1 person
She has some super cool tats, so they would run the proper cover for a sammy. Me? A single tat and it’s a sammy? Can’t imagine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe ya.
I can’t imagine either. It would be weird.
Chuck – a Montreal chef
(Who won an Iron Chef) has all sorts of food tats: lemon meringue pie, lobster, etc. But it makes sense. He’s got a LOT of tats…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have to have friends in order to provide the adequate cover.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Would you believe I didn’t watch a single commercial? I really dropped the ball. Which makes me no different from most of the players on Sunday.
The Punting Bowl would have been some truth in advertising, tell you what.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh for fuck’s sakes. What am I gonna do with you? LOL If you really did care, you could just Google ’em anyway. Did you miss them when you were snoozing?
Right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can YouTube em. Probably will do that tonight. And I didn’t snooze for that long a time. I could have stayed asleep for the entire game and missed nada.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whatever did we do before YouTube?
Well… just wake up for the fourth quarter is all you needed to do 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know what the world looked like before YouTube, really.
As for the fourth quarter, it really didn’t go the way I liked. I mean, I KNEW how it was going to go. Like reading a suspense novel and knowing the ending before it happens.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s already a distant memory.
Didnt go thr way i wanted either.Yep. Like reading the last chapter before starting the book. I know peeps like that. 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems like we’ve had it forever, but it’s only been like fifteen years. Amazing.
My aunt reads the last chapter before she gets to reading a book. I think she’s crazy, but I would never tell her that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really? Only 15… wow…
MY aunt does too! But I did tell her she’s nuts… she said she wants to make sure it’ll be worth the read! Da hell?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know, right?
I don’t get it, but hey . . different keystrokes for different peeps.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jeez.
Yep. Whatever floats their boat.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A banana boat. Now I’ve got ice cream on the brain. But that’s ayt, I ain’t going out for any. This too shall pass . . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmm. Yes. It shall.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, Brady doesn’t look or act like he’s 31, much less 41.
I haven’t been Tom Brady’s 41 for like . . ever.
B
LikeLiked by 1 person
True dat. Good for him.
In my mind I have been. Like at 25, maybe 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I tried the avocado ice cream he is into. Blech! If that is what keeps you young, I’m good being older.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmm… I’ve had avocado ice cream and it was quite good. Maybe depends on the maker…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is that so? Well have at it then chica. I’ll stick to my rocky road. It keeps me young at heart and that’s all that I’m caring about at this point.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well now… don’t be offering me a choice between avocado and Rocky Road! There’s no contest! Avocados belong on my toast…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Buahaha!
Rocky road, chocolate, moose tracks, butter pecan and cookie dough.
Yes, avocados go on my ensalada, toast and sammy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmm… and don’t forget pralines and cream, heavenly hash… mint chocolate chip… damn. All I have is vanilla!!
And eggs, don’t forget eggs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmmmmm! Pralines and cream is an excellent choice! I ain’t got ANY ice cream in the house. It’s beer or ice cream, I gotta make sugar choices.
I never forget eggs. That is one of my sammys with avocado.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmm. I bought some for the kids – course I ate most of it.😏
My fave too. Egg, avocado, tomato…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmm, that is one seriously tasty egg sammy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have one almost every morning… Sammy or wrap. Yummm
LikeLiked by 1 person
The secret to long life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo, Marc. What a commentary. Simply divine. I agree on Romo. He called it from the experience and knowledge of the game. it was like he was on the field the whole time. He did say vertical one too many times but is forgiven. I wonder where the word “physicality” went.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t realize he uttered the V word several times. We were chattering away so much, we missed a lot of stuff. And besides, the game didn’t make it easy to focus.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I understand.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Go Anybody But the Patriots in 2019-20!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed. A little Steeler action would be nice. But that’s me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully for you guys, there is some serious reimbursement coming for the services of Antonio Brown.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Marco,
You had me at “fucking patriots.” Truly what I know about football would fit in a thimble and there would still be room to swim laps around it. What I do know is that the Chiefs were robbed. What should have been a touchdown was taken away because supposedly the ball hit a Patriot’s thumb. All views of the video indicated not so, even the announcers said it. (Did I mention that I really know nothing about football?…But I do have eyes. Hello?) Do the patriots have the refs in their pockets or what? I don’t normally watch the games, but this was the playoffs. 😉
I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. Sour grapes from a Kansas Citian. 😦
Thank you for sharing the video. There’s always room for cello.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rochelle,
What I would have given to watch the Chiefs go this season. They’re going to the popular choice next season. I hope it doesn’t go to their heads.
The Patriots? Get away with something? No. Way. LOL
You didn’t miss anything. It was a bigger snooze fest than watching C-Span.
Great music video, eh? Glad you liked.
Shalom,
Marco
LikeLiked by 1 person
They need to play the Giants every year. As my t-shirt says….18-1…It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wrote back then that the Patriots had the worst 18-1 season in the history of the league. The Giants always had their number. Pretty amazing stuff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol… truer words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1 truly was the loneliest number.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! I don’t know what to say to this except, I guess your team didn’t win. I’m sorry, Sorry. Loved the writing…see this was a polemic right up there with one of Hamilton’s. ✍🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t really have a horse in this race. I’m simply guilty of Patriots fatigue.
Thank you. I feel that when you wield a mythical pen in the direction of something you find appalling, you best aim for the haunches. Make the attack count for something, yanno?
LikeLike
Sounds catchy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Remember when catchy meant bumper stickers? Now it becomes a meme. Shelf life used to be however long you owned your car. Now it’s about twelve minutes. Andy Warhol wasn’t down with giving it the full fifteen.
LikeLike
Yup…your first sentence said it all. And can I just say I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. THE. 2 CELLOS. Seriously, I love those guys and have a few of there cuts on my playlist. Bless you for that video offering! While they’re not Queen, they sure hit the spot these days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Argh. make that ‘their’ cuts. Stupid autofill on struggling fingers on a cold day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ugh, LOL. My phone’s auto-correct is always getting in my way too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rotten tiny keyboard. 😠
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why . . I . . oughtta . . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s great stuff, isn’t it? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person