Heroes Of The Week!

I’m not sure what in the hell happened here, but this week’s installment of Heroes got messier than Jackson Pollack at a rib eating contest. Uglier than a Westboro Baptist pot luck. And more hopeless than the New York Giants chances next season.

Enjoy!

Horrible Bosses: Part Douche- When James Dolan took over as New York Knicks owner in 1999, they were a team with ups. They’d reached the NBA finals for the second time in five seasons and sported twelve straight playoff appearances.

Twenty years of Dolan has produced a minor league shit storm charging major league prices. Under Boss Dolan, the Knicks have . . .

  • Traded for a player (Latrell Sprewell) who choked his former coach
  • Settled an $11 million sexual harassment lawsuit against then GM Isaiah Thomas. Dolan later hired Thomas to coach his WNBA team! (You can’t make this shit up).
  • Turned two Hall of Fame head coaches-Larry Brown and Phil Jackson- into caricatures.
  • Had Knicks legend Charles Oakley escorted from MSG for being critical of the inept owner.
  • Have gone from a perennial playoff contender to a perennial lottery team. They have one playoff series win since 2000. They lost a franchise record 65 games in 2015. They lost a franchise record 18 games in a row this season. They’ve missed the playoffs for the sixth consecutive season.

The world’s most famous arena has become a gulag, with Dolan its inept czar. This dolt had a fan banished from the arena last week for having the audacity (common sense) to tell him he should sell the team. If Knicks fans have any pride left, they would start chanting that sentiment at every single home game. Better yet, they should stay home until the NBA commissioner is forced to take action.

I’m not watching a single minute of the jackpot jerk-off jubilee known as March Madness. It’s a bingo game manipulated by suits. Get back to me when a sixteen seed wins the tournament. I’ll wait . . . 

Biggest Loser- Throughout his MLB career, Jose Canseco was a muscle bound, loud mouthed jerk nobody liked. Since retiring, nothing has changed. And it’s one thing if the dude wanted to juice himself up for short term gain, that’s on him. But when he started diming out fellow players for taking steroids, his resume was complete. He’s an asshole and a rat.

A jerk-off like this can’t be satisfied until he pisses on every single person who ever meant anything to him. So his recent allegation that A-Rod slept with Canseco’s ex-wife is unfortunate, yet predictable. His ex shot down the claims, so Canseco challenged A-Rod to take a polygraph.

If Canseco had been a mobster, he’d be seaweed by now.

Utah never makes the list of worst fan bases in sports. But Jazz fans . . . suck. Big time. 

Graduating with Hard Time- I gotta say, this whole “Operation Varsity Blues” scandal had me conflicted. On the one hand, I was like . . These parents went all Madoff for their kids . . that’s love! And on the other hand, I was like Madoff was a lying cheat of a scumbag who gamed the system simply because he could . . . they suck! 

Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin are the big names, but this pond is deep with influential power brokers. Basically, they bent the college admissions process over and fucked the shit out of it. Because they could. And because too many universities are really good at double speak when it comes to integrity and all that jazz. But money and influence sings opera.

This story sucks on so many levels. It speaks of the corruption that is rife in academia. It speaks of raging entitlement. And worst of all, they trampled the memory of an excellent flick about high school football. Varsity Blues, the movie, deserved better. These parents are on their own.

Not Beta . . Beto. No . . not buttah, Beto! Aww, fuck it. 

Who Needs E-Harmony?- Leonel Marines, a former police sergeant in Bradenton, Florida didn’t feel the need to swipe left or right. Not when he already had access to the records of hundreds of available females in his area.

An investigation revealed that Marines used his position to gain access to the personal information of these women. After which he would conduct ‘investigations’ which included phone calls, surveillance and in some cases even house calls. This perverse Orwellian scenario has been handed over to the FBI, and let’s just say Marines next date will happen behind bars.

He best get used to the bottom bunk.

Oh by the way. The war on drugs is still a thing. 

We live in a swarm of corruption with systems so diseased we couldn’t get a plug nickel on their worthless dollar bills. And Trump is still President of the United States because NBC fired him.

Shit.

So thank you to Biology Professor Emeritus George P. Smith of the University of Missouri for breaking the skein at four in this weekly Heroes installment. He is the necessary smile to answer this clown quartet with.

Smith is a recent winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in Chemistry. And with more than forty years worth of teaching under his belt, and biking to school every day, and listening to brilliantly imaginative excuses on why a research paper wasn’t done on time . . the dude could’ve just dropped the mike right there. He had a big fat check for two hundred and fifty Grover Cleveland’s to play with, which is a hell of an excuse to call in sick for a week. Or for good.

Smith didn’t do that, and what’s more . . he didn’t even keep the money. He’s giving it to the kids. After which the University of Missouri opened its pockets and added three hundred thousand dollars to the fund. Half a million untwisted, crystal clean dollars. Brains and influence, without the shady business.

How crazy is that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

51 thoughts on “Heroes Of The Week!

  1. I keep reading that Durant to the Knicks is the most likely scenario this summer and that they have their eyes set on other big names as well. And I wonder who in their right mind would want to go to the Knicks under the current ownership? And then I look at Durant and understand that he may not be in his right mind. There’s something just off about what the players are doing to the NBA these days. If Durant or other big names head to New York this summer, I hope they get what they deserve. Kind of like what Lebron has got by going to L.A. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • The idea of going from arguably the best organization in the sport to the worst makes zero sense. Hell, if he wanted to have his ‘own team’, the other New York team in Brooklyn would make more sense than the Knicks.
      Add the fact that Durant is uber sensitive. I mean . . the NY media would eat him alive.
      And yes, if they do go to NY, they will get what they deserve.
      Yanno, when Van Gundy brought up the idea of trading Lebron, I didn’t find it ridiculous at all. Problem is, who wants an aging superstar who brings the drama the way he does?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I were more versed in current sports. Ask me about the Babe, Mickey Mantle and the Knicks under Pat Reilly and I’m right behind home plate and on the floor at the Garden. So I’m sorry I can’t spar with you and the Midget. I love his blog moniker by the way.

    The college, Felicity business is bizarre. I mean, who digs this dirt up. Is there a special department in memory of J. Edgar Hoover? It’s boring to me. Who the fuck cares. Sorry. There are so many other crucial catastrophes to be concerned over, the girls moneyed operatic admissions, using your line, in my humble opinion, shouldn’t make the cut.

    I wanted to have a modest game of catch with you so, that’s all she has to say. I’m sure Dale and Frank will play a great game of doubles with you any minute.

    I always marvel at the attention you give this weekly edition of yours. You’d make a great columnist, sports, music…sassy, haughty women in caps and gowns. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Babe, the Mick and the Knicks under the great Pat Riley IS enough to keep me interested in the conversation. New York sports, aside from the Yankees, has really taken a turn for the worse recently. Maybe the Mets will surprise this year, but otherwise, it’s a whole lotta nada.

      I just feel like this scandal further illustrates the royal nature of those entitled ones who think money and influence can buy anything. Including the White House.

      Yanno SB, I’m not the social butterfly you make me out to be. You guys have achieved inner circle here on the blog, after which there are a few other peeps I am cool conversing with. But I am so not the community minded blogger. I COULD spread my wings, but I would be miserable in doing so. Because it’s not me. And I gotta be me.

      Freelancing is as much as I was every happy with. And even that, the community of it, I couldn’t jibe. I like doing my own thing. I don’t play so well with others.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes you do. Your charm oozes like a slow leak. I’m not much of a social butterfly either but would love a pulp page somewhere to showcase all polemics. I feel your Heroes of the Week is very Hamiltonian in that sense. You get to flex your opinions over those knuckleheads in many respects, of our crazy culture. As for Pat Reilly, an eternal hottie, in the Hottie Hall of Fame, I loved how he made his boys learn how to use cutlery properly by taking them to good restaurants. He wanted them to be gentlemen, not just champs on the court. Can you see Oak folding his napkin in his lap? Or Patrick Ewing using a finger bowl? That Pat with his slick backed hair. Gotta love him even now. 😎

        Liked by 1 person

        • You did know I was going to catch the alliteration, didn’t you?

          Believe it or not, this idea was inspired by an Aussie gal I used to read, very sporadically mind you, many . . many moons ago. From what I remember, she loved beefsteak and booze. And making fun of the news. Every now and again she would do a “Heroes”post. It was so dark, and there was never a hero . . I don’t believe. It was one long, pissed off rant.

          Fun Fact: I’ve had a bromance with Riles since his Lakers days back in the early eighties. I even slicked my hair back for a time, lol.

          I was the furthest thing from a fan of the Knickerbockers, until he hit town. And then I was all in. The team played some ugly basketball, but man . . they were one of the few teams that scared Michael Jordan. And Riley was the ringleader. The coolest cat in any room.

          When he was named head coach of the Knicks, me and my wife at the time- both big fans- had a small quilt made, complete with the Knicks logo (I called the league’s Manhattan office to get the okay, lol). He sent us a lovely thank you letter.

          I do love the dude even now. I followed his exploits to Miami and still follow the team closely.

          Liked by 1 person

    • This week, I’m ill-equipped to spar. My basketball knowledge is zero to nil…

      I kinda feel like you on the big scandal- like who is surprised by any of this? It’s not right but I’m not in the give a fuck category…

      I didn’t even get notification for this post! Saw it on Twitter of all places.

      And I agree with you, our Marx would be a great columnist, if that were his bag, which it is not…😉

      Liked by 2 people

        • I get my news ALL over the place. Although I must admit, I do dabble in TV news now and again. Knowing full well it’s a cinematic equation.
          You really, really have to dig to find some news items. And then there is the vetting. I still trust my standards like the Times and the Washington Post. I think they’ve been severely marginalized by this “Fake News” euphoria business. I mean, people don’t even have to give you a reason as to WHY they shout fake news, they simply have to scream fake news. Like old time miners digging for gold.
          You do like documentaries, don’t you?

          Like

      • Q,

        If you know zip about basketball, then you have something in common with Dolan . . .

        It’s not surprising in the least. It’s all about entitlement with too many peeps. They feel as if they have a birthright to whatever in the blessed fuck they wish.

        What? And this is what I paid WP for? I could’ve stayed with the free service, but noooooo. Bastids.

        Oh shit . . . this was for Susannah!

        Buahahahaha!

        Liked by 1 person

        • At least I don’t pretend to…😁😎

          It truly is. And it truly is not cool. Those who play by the rules are the ones who get fucked in the end.

          I know, right? We pay and what happens? The WP gremlins come in and bugger things up!

          Hehehe!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Nope, you tell it like it is.

            Hey! That’s my shady emoji! 🙂

            Yep. And they’re called tax payers, lol.

            Yanno, I’ve been really really nice to the peeps at WP. I haven’t written a single snarky post about them and their IKEA existence. Because I rather like them, for the most part. Until they pull crap like this . . .

            😉

            Liked by 1 person

          • You are sooooo cheeky.

            Payers. But yeah . . maybe prayers would be a better idea in this instance, LOL.

            I’ll continue being good to ’em. They’re allowed to have a mulligan now and again.

            Liked by 1 person

  3. K, B?

    Stoopid WP! Da fuck? You’re the 2nd one I hear about who had probs win his post being posted! I got nuthin’ in my in-box… I ain’t pleased coz I hate missing anything you write.

    That said, liken told Susannah, I’m diddly-squat knowledgeable on anything basketball (worse even, than baseball!) So I won’t keep you on this one.

    The scandal – pffft. I keep thinking of “Scent of a Woman” and all those privileged brats being admitted because of Daddy’s money while the poor kid has to bust his balls to even come close to getting in. Not cool
    Not right and so these two and probably more lesser- known rich folk are guilty of paying their way in. Nothing new. But maybe now things will turn around. The schools are more guilty than the folks dishing the dineros.

    I was losing hope there and am pleased you managed to find one hero amidst all these zeros! Bravo George P. Smith. Now here is someone who gives a shit.

    Brilliant as per, B. Excellent choice of songs too.

    Q

    Liked by 1 person

    • Q,

      Well, technically . . I didn’t have any issues with it being posted. The issues came on the WP side after the fact.

      And like I said, that qualifies you to be the next owner of the New York Knicks. Because the boss in charge right now knows even less than you do. Now . . you wouldn’t happen to have a spare four billion laying around to close the deal, would you?

      Some of the kids I read about would’ve done better being thrown into construction jobs or something. So they could get a taste of real life. And really, it’s no wonder where they get that attitude from.

      And you hit on it right there. The schools. Too many of these top level poobahs are in on the scam, and not just this scam. They let convicts on their campuses just because they can help them win games. They accept the same bribes as in this case. They pay their coaching staffs to go to the ends of the earth- literally- to find athletic talent to recruit when some kid from Camden who busts it can’t even get a scholarship. It’s ridiculous.

      I almost titled this puppy the “Black Friday Edition”. Because I was going to go full zero. But then I remembered this dude and his righteous deed.

      Why thank you, lovely. And Seal . . can’t go wrong with that dude. I almost went with “Future Love Paradise” which is one of my favorite songs of his, but “Crazy” seemed appropriate.

      B(elated)

      Buahahahaha!

      PS- Fucking WordPress

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My Dearest Friend,

    You are my hero. Shit, you even make sports interesting enough to read, and digest. It reminds me of a line from the French poet Henri Michaux : “Qui cache son fou meurt sans voix.” Who hides one’s crazy dies without voice (WNA translation).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Billy,

      You’re such the charmer, you know that?

      And don’t you worry there, I will never hide my crazy. I need to sate the voices in my head, lest they take the wheel.

      Like

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