There’s a scene in the Frank Capra movie Lost Horizon that always shakes me, no matter how many times I watch it. It’s near the end of the film, when Hugh Conway meets the leader of Shangri-La- the High Lama. In this meeting, Conway is introduced to all the truths of the magical place. All the answers to all the many questions are finally within his grasp, and that’s when he begins to understand the design his life is supposed to follow.
A little more than a year ago, Sydney Aiello was busy sewing together the designs on what her life was going to look like. A high school cheerleader who always brought a smile with her to Monday mornings, she loved Yoga and music and fancy gowns and hanging out with her best friend in the world, Meadow Pollack.
Sydney was figuring it all out. Test scores and heartbreak would one day lead to dream jobs and marriage, with forever stretched out in front of her as if the vista from some fictional mountaintop.
And then Nikolas Cruz brought an assault rifle to Marjory Stoneman High School last Valentine’s Day, ambushing eighteen of her fellow students- including Aiello’s best friend, Meadow- and then everything changed. And then the way forever used to look from that mountaintop whose peaks were crowned in an eternal smile, collapsed.
She made it out of that horrible day, in body. But her mind and her spirit remained fixed to the moments that stole those seventeen souls. She enrolled at Florida Atlantic University, but struggled to attend classes because of the memories she carried with her from Stoneman.
She posted on social media frequently, rarely if ever sharing the darkness that resided inside of her. She posted pictures of those better days with Meadow and her friends, and she talked excitedly about how she would be teaching her first Yoga class. But there was always a shadow attached to the words she spoke and the pictures she shared.
She carried it, all of it, for as long a time as she could until forever stopped making any sense at all. And then last weekend, it all came crashing down when Sydney put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. Nineteen years worth of her is all we got. Eternity gets the rest.
When do we ask ourselves how it all went so wrong? When do we ask ourselves why labeling the survivors of Marjory Stoneman High School makes more sense than listening to them? When do we ask ourselves why our kids are growing tired of the world when they’re supposed to be growing old inside of it?
At the end of Lost Horizon, Hugh Conway leaves the world behind and returns to Shangri-La. And with his return, he will find the answers to all those questions the world could never supply.
If only it were that easy.
I’m grateful you captured the light side of Sydney, while we mourn how the darkness of life overtook her. Thank you for that.
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What a beautiful comment. And thank you for it. Hers was the light we need to capture as a world.
Peace and love
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Yes. We do need to.
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Marco,
Have read this twice and am struggling to respond as eloquently as you’ve written this to realise that it is a losing battle.
All I can say is thank you for telling Sydney Aiello’s story. It is a facet or side-effect or repercussion for surviving these horrible acts of violence.
I always have trouble understanding the choice to end one’s suffering in this manner because I am not in their shoes and am well-surrounded.
Your compassion is showing. And don’t ever lose it.
Lotsa love,
Dale
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Dale,
It’s one of those stories that has no place to go. The idea that a young girl such as this had lost all hope should be front page news. THIS should be the breaking news we must address.
But we won’t. And shame on us.
Lotsa love back,
Marco
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It should be. You are absolutely right.
You do. And that counts for something.
You can’t fool me… just so you know.
MWAH!
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MUAH!
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MWAH!
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This affected me too. When I read they called it, survivor’s guilt, my heart went. On top of the whole gruesome event, bearing witness, losing your best friend along with countless others, you somehow feel responsible, like somehow it should have been you instead. Were there no signs she had dropped this far below SEE level? I’m not a parent but I can’t fathom why this wasn’t halted in it’s beginnings. She was just too young to feel so hopeless. Nice you wrote about her as a dad with a daughter. Makes your remark about her response when she was so little at the Vietnam Wall even more poignant. Here’s hoping your thoughtful words will help another.
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I think she sprinkled things out there as time went on, without being overt in any way. Truthfully, we don’t know what the conversations were between Sydney and her parents. But one thing is for certain. We live in a society that normalizes shootings. It is EXPECTED. How crazy is that?
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How bout the Sandy Hook dad who took himself out. You’re right. Evil is the new normal.
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How do we ever get back?
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He did all this great work in memory of his daughter but I guess just couldn’t heal despite his best efforts. Very sad. 😞
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The pain never leaves you.
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Sad.
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My heart aches for each of the young people who have experienced this sort of catastrophe, at a time of life that ought to signify self-realization coupled with a group dynamic centered on fun and solving problems together. Sydney was, like so many others, obviously a complex personality. No one can take the smiles of the suffering, at face value, without being there for her/him when the darkness intrudes.
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Righteous,
You said it all right there, man.
These kids deserve better.
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Reblogged this on A Dalectable Life and commented:
We focus on the ones who have done the damage and the ones who have lost their lives during the horrors but what of those who survived? They try to go on living life as they are “supposed to” but for some, that is impossible.
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Sad but true..
Thank you for the re-blog.
Love and peace, and better days
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Yes.
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Two suicides now within this group of survivors, and I hope there are no more. How sad to feel such despair and hopelessness. I don’t know what to say, but you did.
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Merril,
To be that young and feel that hopeless, it’s a sad and frightening thought for all of us. We have to hope, and to listen to these kids. Evidently, Sydney posted something on FB in which she implored friends and loved ones to listen and look for signs that someone might be struggling.
Thank you for the comment.
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Let’s hope.
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I cannot make sense of this at all. This girl and her friends had their lives cut short by a monster with a gun. No one should carry a gun unless their job demands it.
We have knife crime in the UK it is appalling, no one should carry a knife. No one should carry a weapon. Make weapons illegal.
I am not surprised these children that survive these incidents don’t think life is worth living… I wonder if it is worth it myself sometimes.
You have written this post beautifully though.
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New Zealand’s Prime Minister has taken the lead on this front with her call to ban assault weapons. Unfortunately, in the US it’s more important to debate than to change things.
Thank you for the kind words Willow.
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I am sorry but this is one subject I cannot understand, why not just ban weapons. 💜
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Hear Hear! Guns. They’re carried the way combs used to be in a kid’s back pocket. Bewildering.
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I used to own a gun. There were many reasons why I chose to sell it. And while I don’t deny gun owners the right, I do believe we behave as if this is the Wild West.
It’s easier to buy a gun than it is to get health insurance. Let that sink in.
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That’s not funny, the health insurance line, but I laughed anyway.
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I’m not always a laugh a minute, yanno?:)
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I know but humor keeps us afloat.
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Don’t I know it.
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Yeah…you’re pretty funny. 🙂
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I have my moments. 🙂
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Clearly. 😉
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😳
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Yes indeed it is bewildering that we have let our world come to this 💜
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To quote Mr. Churchill, we must never give up.
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I love Churchill.
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Me too. He wrote by ear. I love knowing that since I do too having zip formal education. Loved when he said…when you’re going through hell, just keep going. And my all time favorite is, when he was visiting FDR at the White House sleeping in what’s now The Lincoln Bedroom really Lincoln’s study…so much trivia…and FDR popped in unannounced to find our Whinnie sitting in a chair stark naked, he said without missing a beat…You see Franklin, I hide nothing from you. 😊
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Buahaha! He was one of a kind. And to think the current resident of 1600 fancies himself a modern day version.
Rubbish!
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Oy. That’s really criminal.
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Isn’t it?
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Where’s Luca Brasi when you need’em.
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Sleeping wit da fishes.
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I knew you were gonna say that. 😜
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It’s way more dramatic than saying he’s retired in Boca Raton with a boat named “Best Offer”
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I guess Puzo and Coppola would agree with you.
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I agree with them too. Excepting for Part 3. I will never agree with Part 3.
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Me either…what was that. When they didn’t negotiate with Tom Hayden that was a tip off. How can there be a 3 without Tom? Duval only wanted his due. Also, when Winona got sick and Francis pulled the nepotism card…AY-YI-YI-YI-YI Andy Garcia was the only bright spot as the son of Sonny’s and the horny bridesmaid’s. Love on the stairs. Loved the wedding in Part 1. Gotta go to work…:)
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I agree with you on all counts. I was dubious going in, and regretful on the other side.
They missed many opportunities with this rush job. I always thought a show down between Michael and Fredo’s illegitimate son would’ve been a better idea. ANYTHING would have been a better idea.
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It missed. One and two are so amazing you wonder how the man who gave them to us could bomb so badly. Of course, the guy who made Shampoo and Heaven Can Wait made Ishtar. Even the greats occasionally miss. Sigh
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I lost a lot of respect for Copolla after that one. It was a rush job, which is unforgivable considering the franchise. It would definitely have been better to leave it at two.
I remember meeting my old man, aunt and uncle at the theater for Part 3. They ‘snuck in’ gratis after waiting for someone to attend to them with no luck. After the movie I told them they should have asked for a refund anyway . . .
I never saw Ishtar. You can’t find that movie. It’s like it was erased . . .
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Thank God.
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It sure is Willow.
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💜💜
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Thank you. It’s important to remember that these tragedies don’t end the moment the last bullet is fired. They go on and on and on for those who lived through them. Thank you for the reminder.
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Thank you for the comment, Mark.
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A beautiful way to point out the struggles of those with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is sad that Sydney could not have found help. Maybe someone reading your post knows of someone who could use support and as a result, give it. You are saintly Mr. Marc.
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John,
Sydney had posted on social media as per the idea that friends and loved ones need to listen, and to pay attention to the warning signs.
Most will not exhibit any signs outwardly. The closest she came was in that warning. It’s a very complicated situation for those who WANT to be there. But sometimes, the damage is too severe.
Thank you for the comment.
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I agree. Increased awareness does help.
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I live in Canada. It is difficult to buy a gun here. Yet, we have gun crimes… shootings, on a much smaller scale. Seems guns smuggled in from the USA are half the problem. https://toronto.citynews.ca/2018/07/04/guns-toronto-border/
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I believe it.
Banning assault weapons is the first step here. The NRA will make it damn near impossible to even achieve that much. But it has to happen.
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We are all watching and waiting up here, but we are not holding our breath.
It seems like a good idea gone bad. Why should our corrupt governments overlord and hold us hostage. The proletariat should be able to stand up against government. Evil people have absconded to their avails that idea.
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It’s getting worse, you’re right about that.
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Marc,
Thank you for this. Every teen suicide breaks my heart. No one… no one should feel a need to end their pain at such an early stage in the (admittedly painful) life process. I wish I knew what to do to prevent this. I really, really do. I would do it. Anything.😢😢
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She had a lifetime ahead of her, but sometimes that pain convinces someone that forever doesn’t count for very much.
And now comes word that one of the parents whose child was taken in the Newton shooting back in 2012 took his life.
It’s an epidemic.
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Oh no. That is so sad. I wonder when the people who want change are going to take back the government and get laws passed to help prevent mass violence that has become so much a part of American life.
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They did ban bump stocks, but they have to do the same for assault weapons. There is no sporting reason to own one.
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Sydney’s story is heartbreaking. With no end in sight of compassion and justice taking hold, I pray we will begin to listen to the Sydney’s in our lives.
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Viva,
Amen. Too many adults have tried to marginalize what these kids are saying. We shouldn’t be judging them for voicing what they feel, we should be listening and engaging.
Thank you for the comment.
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I heard this story (as well as the one about the Sandy Hook parent) on the BBC the other morning. Heartbreaking and ever so sad. 💔
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So very sad. Thank you for the comment, Monika.
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