Heroes Of The Week!

This week in the news, March Madness continues to wreak havoc on regularly scheduled programming. A person in Wisconsin won the 750 million dollar Powerball, after which I can only assume they invested in a witness protection program kit. And Disney has announced it will no longer allow visitors to bring ice into their parks. Because, climate change?

And now to a zero-heavy week . . .

Up in the Air- When you pay dollar store prices to fly, you kinda know what to expect. Not much. But WOW Airlines went one step further by giving its passengers nothing at all. As in, they closed up shop and left their passengers stranded across North America and Europe. Nice.

But you don’t have to be discount to fail those you serve. Boeing would know all about that after its 737 MAX aircraft were grounded by the FAA after a second crash in less than six months. The company was left largely to its own devices in vetting the MAX. Unimaginable, if it weren’t true.

The Dead Comes Back To Life!- I swore I was done with this show as soon as Andrew Lincoln walked out. And with good reason seeing as how The Walking Dead had become staler than day old Sprite. But then came the Whisperers and then I fell into a sick, dark love all over again. Robert Kirkman and company have re-invigorated the story line nine seasons in! And while this feat may not be heroic in the grand scheme of things, it sure beats the hell out of talking about Trump.

The Oakland Raidahs- They were once the gold standard as far as perennial contenders went. But for the past fifteen years they’ve been shit on a swizzle stick, while still pretending to be relevant. So they signed Jon Gruden to a 100 million contract to be their Don, even though he hadn’t coached a game in ten years. In his first year, it wasn’t certain if Gruden was working for Oakland or the Russians. The plan was to get younger, but they’ve gotten older by signing Antonio “Me, Myself and I” Brown and Vontaze Burfect- who should be in an orange jumpsuit. And they’re going to ditch Oakland (again) by moving to Vegas in a year or two. The Raiders have replaced the Browns as the league’s punchline.

E. Pluribus U Gotta Be Kidding- You mean to tell me with all the challenges going on right here at home as well as around the world, the Pentagon finds the time to do side jobs for the executive branch that have absolutely nothing to do with national security? Because that’s what happened when they decided to divert one billion dollars of their budget to go to Trump’s wall. And then the House Armed Services Committee stepped in, and now we’re going to see how high this battle goes.

E. Pluribus U Too?- US Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos never met a bad looking headline she didn’t gravitate to. The 12 percent cut in education spending was bad (if not predictable) enough. But her announcement that the federal government would cut funding to the Special Olympics broke the internet. It wasn’t long before Trump played like the cavalry and overrode her cuts . . sort of like the kid who says sorry only because he knows he’s been caught.

For Shame? Forget It!- So Jussie Smollett stages an attack . .  a hate crime attack. It’s politically charged, racially motivated and it compromises two black men. And after all charges are dropped and Chicago’s Mayor and Chief of Police rail on about the miscarriage of justice. And after the city of Chicago demands reimbursement from Smollett for the circus he brought to town. And after he became the latest influential person to set race relations back. After all that . . . Smollett behaves like the victim, as in a real victim. And now he’s a candidate for an NAACP Image Award? Because the news cycle wasn’t ridiculous enough . . .

Thank God for Keanu Reeves, who walks the earth doing Keanu Reeves things. He’s a surfer dude with a soul, and the only way you’re going to get him to come at ya is if you mess with his dog.

So of course he knew what to do when his flight from San Francisco to Burbank made an emergency landing in Bakersfield, leaving Reeves and his fellow passengers to figure out the rest. Reeves was on it, making travel arrangements for everyone and then playing tour guide on the van ride back to Burbank. He made jokes, took pictures and shook everyone’s hand when the ordeal was finally over. Basically, Reeves transformed a logistical fuck salad into a memorable experience. And while he had social media blowing up, it was with cool anecdotes and smiling faces instead of nasty complaints and lawsuits. He should run for office.

Dude. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

52 thoughts on “Heroes Of The Week!

  1. You read it here first … Antonio Brown is already in decline. His stats may not suggest that, but as a regular watcher of Steelers games, I see a difference in what he does now versus a few years ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if his production isn’t quite what Raiders fans were expecting. And how anybody could put him and Burfect on the same team?! They kind of have a history.

    Smollett … it looks like his whole idiotic idea has actually worked. What I find somewhat amazing is that the FBI is looking into it. As near as I can tell there is no federal crime involved. Seems to be done because of who Smollett is and who the President is more than anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s really simple. Jon Gruden has no blessed idea what the hell he’s doing. His post Super Bowl track record- both on the field and in regards to drafts and FA left a ton to be desired. Then he gets to Oakland and begins by trading their best player- Mack. A generational pass rusher. And then five minutes later he bemoans the team’s lack of a pass rush!.
      So trading Mack was for picks and future? Fine.But then he goes and signs a thirty one year old wide receiver. And Burfict . . . whose age and history of staying OFF the field should have been a red flag, not to mention his past with Brown . . . And now Gruden wants to get a new QB, even though the only quarterbacks he’s ever worked with are veterans. Ooookay.
      Smollett is pathetic, but what of the peeps who actually stand by his assertion that HE was wronged? So very sad.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh B….

    Ya done it again!

    No ice. okaaayyyy…. I got nuthin’
    WOW Airlines named themselves well coz… how else can you react when left stranded wherevs? Of course you can curse and swear but your first reaction is gonna be WOW,,, never saw THAT one coming.
    As for Boing – wouldya believe Canada was a tad slow to ground the mofos? My friend Jules was beside herself as that was exackery the plane she is due to take shortly. Thankfully they (we) have followed suit…

    I’m giving Angela Kang the kudos for TWD’s reinvigoration. That and The Whisperers’ Alpha is the baddest badass we have had so far! She is colder and harder than any icy mountaintop.

    Raiders – once upon a time were my team. Too long ago to remember. They are moving *again? sheesh.

    Pluribus One: Uh huh. Whatsammatah with you? THE WALL IS A NATIONAL SECURITY ISSUE! Trump said so. So OF COURSE, all funds must be directed there… Glad to see there may be some sense up there in that Committee… Can’t wait to see how this plays out.

    Pluribus Too 😉 Shame on her. Anything that makes Trump look “good”…

    Jussie Smollett – is the man not satisfied with this 15 minutes? How is he still walking?

    As for Keanu. Sorry, Babe, he can’t run for office. He’s OURS. And no way in hell we are giving him to you.

    Lotsa love,

    Q

    Liked by 1 person

    • Q,

      I was surprised to learn they banned smoking in the parks, because I thought that had been a thing for quite a while already. Hmmm.

      WOW says it all. I don’t think I’d be taking a chance with my ass at thirty five thousand feet inside a tin can called WOW. They didn’t have a single better idea than that?

      As for Boeing, shameful. Of course, they were allowed to basically certify their own shit seeing as how the regulatory standards here in the states work. And here’s a company that does lots of work with the Pentagon. I’m not saying they get favored status . . but I’m not NOT saying that either.

      I do not remember a show finding its groove again this late in the game. Nine years in is a lifetime. Hell, I am barely making it through the last couple episodes of Gotham . . and this is their fifth and final year! And to show how little I know about writers? I had no idea who Kang was! LOL.

      Yep, the Raiders are moving again. But that’s alright, they’ll be back in Oakland at some point.

      The fact that the Pentagon will do this should give everyone pause. It won’t but it should. And oh by the way, that billion dollars would buy like sixty miles worth of wall. I am telling you, the monies to this wall are a perfect front for disappearing more monies.

      DeVos should have known this would happen.

      Smollett will thrive. In the short term. But every misbegotten deed is a bill coming due.

      I should have known! The way he draws out the duuuuude. Heavy on the U.

      Lotsa love back

      Liked by 1 person

      • I would have thought as well. At our little amusement park, they have a designated smokers’ area. Ga-ross.

        I sure would pause. Anything that sounds too good. Is.

        Boing is more than shameful! WTF, seriously? Pentagon is busy giving money away to a wall… whaddaya expect?

        Only reason I know about Kang is coz of Talking Dead – one learns so much with that hour-long talk show!

        Serious pause. The monies they could be putting to good use. Yanno, starving children, gun control (sorry, my bad, my Canadian is showing), homeless shelters…

        I can only shake my head at DeVos and Smollett.

        ‘Course he’s Canadian. But you musta known that deep down, eh?

        Liked by 1 person

        • I don’t remember any areas in the parks designated to smokers, and that was back in 2007.

          But do not fret . . I forgot to include this news ditty in my post. New ‘research’ claims that drinking a bottle of wine a week is akin to smoking half a pack of cigarettes and that it holds the same cancer risks. I can only assume the study was underwritten by tobacco companies . . .

          The industrial complex is absolutely frightening, and if we knew even half of what is really going on . . it would rival the most fictional dystopian scenarios we used to read about in books.

          I watched for a while but then it becomes too much.

          That stuff is given the innocuous sounding term “Non-Defense Spending”. In other words, it doesn’t take priority.

          Those two should have a talk show!

          I didn’t. He surfs! LOL

          Like

          • I dunno when they started doing that here.

            Wait! NO! That has to be wrong… it must be underwritten by them. Hell, I’m screwed otherwise…

            If half is how much we know…

            Have to thank you for sharing the news with me, coz I stay away from the televised one and only get snippets off the radio and Facebook (and here, if the subject interests, me, I go and verify and read more) but nope… I’m starting to think the news ain’t nothing but a big nasty show.

            Non-Defense Spending. Almost sounds like an oxymoron.

            They should!

            Well.. he has lived south of his home for long enough to pass as a surfer dude…

            Liked by 1 person

          • I remember when malls went smoke-less. The exact moment actually. A security guard came up to me and my girlfriend and informed us that we had to take it outside. I was like, why come to the mall if I cant smoke?

            LOL. I forget what I wrote!

            I do get snippets from Twitter as well. Snippets. Literally . . . snippets. It’s the cherry tomatoes of the news cycle.

            Emphasis on moron.

            Vaya con deeeooozzz

            Liked by 1 person

          • I can’t remember when myself. But I remember when the office became “smokeless” and there was a designated room. I swear, that was the most disgusting place to pass by!

            LOL! No worries 😉 We’ve pretty much covered the basis, methinks.

            Right. I’m not yet that much of a Tweeter. Have just recently started paying more attention. I like the cherry tomatoes. They are sweet nibbles and no over-indulging goes on.

            Yes.

            Ciao babeeeeeee

            Liked by 1 person

          • Even when I used to partake, I would get non-smoking rooms because the odor was disgusting.

            I do believe you’re right.

            It’s a good way to semi-catch some news without needing to grab a bookmark- as with the New York Times articles.

            Buahahaha!

            Liked by 1 person

  3. DeVos’ level of ineptitude is shocking even amongst the peers she’s working with. If I listen too much about what she’s up to, my head will shake right off.

    I think the NAACP image award should be given to Mr. Smollett’s Aviators (they look kinda like aviators). Mirror-y goodness. Image. GET IT? hahaha…. *groan*

    I didn’t know Keanu was my spirit man-imal. I would totes make an awful situation bearable with my humor and all. Maybe I’m secretly Canadian?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hung on every word and was not disappointed. I learned a new adjective too, or maybe it is a noun. (fuck salad caught my funny bone.) Excellent post once again, Marc. Antonio (Look at me) Brown better not spend that cash. I’m sure the slick lawyers from Oakland will figure out how to ask for the Raider money back. I would also propose a name change if they all flee to Vegas. “The Las Vegas Long Shots,” would be perfect

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, not just any old salad . . .

      I think the Raiders are just so unlikable. And usually, you have to actually WIN something to be unlikable. The Patriots I can understand.

      Gruden and Mayock are paying Derek Carr franchise money, and so I actually WANT them to choose a QB just for shits and giggles. And again, I have no problem trading Mack because you can argue they had little else so why not reboot. But then, why pay a 31 year old WR who is also a malcontent? And then sign Burfict, who is a thug and a malcontent?

      I don’t think Gruden knows what the hell he’s doing. And I LOVE that name! Let’s call Davis Jr. and get this puppy started!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Boy, we sure coulda used Keanu on that flight to Memphis in December 2017 (must have been in a WOW plane, or something).

    I hate to rag on Boeing ‘cause my cousin works for them, but…. the coziness between industry and guvmint has gotten waaaay out of hand.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The ongoing cruelty of the administration just keeps on rolling. It’s hard to understand how a collection of people all seem to be this cruel.
    The addition of Alpha and the Whisperers has been an interesting addition to TWD. Talk about psychotic yet Samantha Morton is phenomenal!

    Liked by 1 person

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