In honor of the final season of Game of Thrones, Imma share seven stories in honor of the seven kingdoms for this weeks Heroes installment. To those of you who do not possess a relationship status with the show, just imagine Congress . . only fun. And with dragons.
Okay, it’s not that cutthroat.
Shit Showtime- Magic Johnson as a zero of my week? Actually . . yeah. Listen, the dude has achieved his Rushmore. On the court. But as coach and then President of the Lakers, the dude wasn’t willing to put in the time necessary to succeed. His resignation as President mirrored his brief tenure- quick, un-involved and disconnected. Contrary to popular opinion, I think Magic’s stepping down is the best thing that could have happened to the Lakers in the short term. Jeannie Buss should be on the phone to Jerry West and Pat Riley, offering the keys to the kingdom. It won’t happen, but it should.
You can’t take it with you. Oh wait, yes you can- What do you do on the other side of buying your own private island for eight million dollars? You go shoplifting at K-Mart, of course! Which is what Andrew Lippi did, stealing more than $300 worth of merchandise from a K-Mart in Key West, Florida. He purchased items, replaced them with cheaper items and then returned them for a refund. My personal favorite? He bought a Keurig, replaced the coffee maker with a basketball and then returned it.
Two questions beg answering. Why in the name of Richard Branson’s steel balls does a millionaire with several peach properties to his name need to be playing three card monte with coffee machines and LED light bulbs? And perhaps an even more important question. Why is there a K-Mart in Key West?
The Suns and Daughter of Discovery- Katie Bouman is a twenty nine year old assistant professor of computing and mathematical sciences at California Institute of Technology. She spends her days developing uber-sophisticated blueprints on the genome of space. There is excruciatingly precise detail involved in figuring out the math of this mystical parking lot, but the MIT grad knows her business. Thanks to an algorithm Bouman developed, the Event Horizon telescope snapped a photograph of a black hole whose address is some fifty five million light years away.
And oh yeah, it’s the first image we’ve ever had of a black hole. Ever. So while Bouman ain’t got social media cred or a line of sneakers with her name on them . . she’s doing the business of not just the whole wide world, but the universe to boot. In summation, Bouman took us on a trip to forever after while LeBron couldn’t even take the Lakers to the playoffs.
Soul Food- Country music singer Brad Paisley and his wife Kimberly do grocery shopping like nobody’s business. The couple recently broke ground on a grocery store in Nashville. This particular grocery store will offer big savings to its clientele. How big? Welp, try absolutely free.
1 in 7 people and 1 in 5 children deal with food insecurity in Nashville, and the store will serve those in need by lending them a helping hand. Brad and his wife were inspired to do this beautiful thing after visiting a similar store in California. And while Brad is best known for strumming a guitar, he’s got big talent when it comes to giving back.
Pre-K Kelly Strikes Again- Just when you think R. Kelly couldn’t get any lower comes word that his recent ‘concert’ for fans in Springfield, Illinois lasted exactly twenty eight seconds. And that he charged $100 bucks for the honor. It took me fifty six seconds to write this, so I just lapped his ass.
Just Call Him Roger Stone Age- The former GOP strategist and avid indictment collector hopped on the Trump bandwagon this week. Yanno, the one that serves up a beat down to dead people? Stone lashed out at the late Barbara Bush, calling her “nasty, rude, self-important and entitled and a vindictive drunk”. Not all at once, but in a series of rambling attacks on the former First Lady.
And in keeping with his former Boss, Stone saved his worst for last when he took to Instagram and pontificated on the 2016 primaries in which Trump laid waste to the Bush dynasty. In a vicious rebuke to Barbara Bush’s “countdown clock” on the Trump presidency, Stone said “Well, she’s dead and he’s President- who won that one?”.
How do you possibly counter such a miserable outlook on people as Stone possesses? Imma borrow a spit shine solution from E.E. Cummings and just say that Hatred bounces.
Singh his praises- Jay Singh is a 7-Eleven store owner in Toledo Ohio who’s just trying to make ends meet. Running a convenience store ain’t the easiest gig, what with small margins and long hours and peeps trying to dig into those profits by taking your inventory free of charge.
Which is exactly what happened recently when an employee at the store informed Singh that a teenager was shoplifting. Singh went back and checked the cameras and sure enough, the kid in question had a serious case of the hot pockets. And so at this point, you wouldn’t have blamed the guy for dialing up 911. Because, yanno . . he’s got a business to run? And he’s not related to the Paisleys.
Singh did no such thing. Instead he asked the young shoplifter a simple question. Why? To which the kid replied that he was hungry, and that he was stealing food for himself and his kid brother. It was all Singh needed to hear.
The store owner went on a mini-shopping spree- collecting sausage rolls and sandwiches, chips and pizza and a 2 liter soda for the young man. Because he thought it a better idea to give him something rather than take something away by having him arrested. Because Singh’s bottom line doesn’t begin and end with cash money. Because sometimes, it really is better to give than to receive. Singh’s gesture inspired one of his customers- Cedric Bishop- to give the kid a ten spot. I mean, can you imagine being inside that moment with these people? It must have felt as if God was watering the lawn.
I like that idea just fine.
B,
Love this instalment of Heroes – even though I have never – gasp! – ever, watched a single episode of GoT, oh, no, I lied. I watched one. But it’s on my to-watch.
Why did everyone assume Magic’s magic as an athlete would transpose to a role as coach or president? Oh wait… Trump is president.
I don’t even know what to say about LIppi except maybe he was bored? Think Thomas Crowne Affair – did it coz he could for shits and giggles, only this guy is a helluva lot less suave.
So glad you went with the Bouman story! She so should have a line of sneakers now 😉
Paisley and wife just look like good peeps. So nice they walk the talk.
Why in the blessed fuck is ANYONE paying to see R.Kelly? Why is he even allowed to tour with all the shite that surrounds him? What is with this friggen “National Inquirer” society, already?
My mouth dropped at such a comment, that I shall not even retype. Hatred bounces big time.
What a great story to end with. Ever notice how it’s the “Have-Nots”, or the “Have-Not-So-Muches” are the most generous and understanding? What a beautiful thing Singh and Bishop did. Heaven on Earth rain, indeed.
I love these two cellists. They brought the cool into classical big time. (Sorry (not really) for the long-winded comment. But I know you would worry something is wrong if I didn’t address each issue 😉 Plus, I figured out how to have a split screen to respond. 😀 )
Q
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Q(ueen) of Boucherville,
It’s not my favorite show, but it’s a lot of fun for sure. I usually am not into fantasy, but I think it’s the dynamic that sold me on this one. No one is safe. It’s a fine line you tow when you bring the heat like that. You can’t cancel out ALL the characters, and yet . . they are ALL on the firing line, so to speak.
RIGHT! Magic’s second life is the reason most players hang on to their careers for as long as possible, and beyond it in some instances. Because they are never going to be the rock stars they were in that arena. Magic was such a seismic talent, on the court, that I think he believed everything was going to be that easy. Then his TV show ratings went in the tank quickly, he quit coaching after his first losing streak and he stepped down as President just when things were getting complicated in LA. He’s a wonderful ambassador for the game, but he’s not Magic at everything.
Do we chalk it up to eccentric millionaire? I feel like it’s letting him off the hook . . .
Bouman is too busy for that stuff. She’s unlocking the mysteries of the universe. That said, I would buy her sneakers.
Paisley power, it’s a thing.
I didn’t know R. Kelly was still a thing, much less that he was still touring. And lemme tell you, the only way I stick with this guy’s crooning for ANY length of time is if he’s paying me! And it would have to be a helluva lot more than 100 bucks a half minute.
Roger Stone is a dolt. It figures he was playmates with Trump.
Singh is good peeps, and his lesson is transferable to the peeps in Washington who think building walls and spending trillions on nuclear weaponry matters more than feeding and sheltering those in need. And Bishop’s response to it was priceless.
You? Long winded comment? No. Way. And it’s not long winded anyway. It’s thoughtful and dynamic. Howzzat?
The split screen method . . I must try it.
B(rother in arms) of House Lancashire
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B(rother in arms) of House Lancashire
Hey! Is Boucherville a house too?
Not your fave, eh? Still, I think I will binge-watch when I want to procrastinate. But I best wait till after June 1 or my move will be a disaster.
Magic’s magic was best left to the court. Not all can transition (obvs). And honestly, who can do everything? Nobody.
No. He can’t be let off the hook, no way, no how. I was just trying to understand why someone with so much would do such a thing. That, or he’s plumb cray-cray.
I would too – and I don’t do the “buy-the-celebrity-thing” evah.
I would like to imagine the reactions of those on the receiving end of Paisley’s gift.
When there is an effing show called “Surviving R. Kelly” one would think. Never mind. Those who paid didn’t.
Stone and Trump. What a pair.
Singh is one of those that Trump wants to keep out. Bishop was amazing in sharing the story as well as helping out himself. THIS is the stuff that we need to share.
I do try… And I appreciate your appreciation.
It;s fantastic!
Q(ueen) of Boucherville
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There are plenty of houses in the seven kingdoms, no worries on that one.
Not through any fault of its own that it’s not my fave. It’s just a rule of mine. Fantasy shows can never be favorite shows. There has to be an element of reality to ’em.
Magic understands what many great athletes come to understand. There is no replicating what that arena feels like. Nothing they do after that will feel the same way.
Imma go with plumb cray cray for the win.
They’re probably lined up to get a picture with him. But not because he’s famous.
I forgot about that show. Jesus.
Frick and frack . . . with vitriol.
Singh is muy dangerous, I mean . . obviously . . .
The chill of those cellists is really something, ain’t it? And a great rendition of the GOT theme song . . .
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Nah, not worried, just foolin’ around!
And I hear ya. Fantasy can oly go so far.
In a sense – a bit sense – he was smart to back out. He knew he didn’t cut it.
Ding! Ding!
Which is just weird to me. Get a picture with a woman-beater…oh, but that’s ok, he sings real good too 🧐 Can;t believe they did a show like that. Not that I watched a minute.
Vitriolic venomous villains…
Yes. muy, MUY dangerous. Just might spread love instead of fear. WTF?
They are fantastic in ALL they play. Ever see them do Thunderstruck?
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I mean, it’s probably why the books didn’t work for me nearly as well as the show. For one thing, I’m a horrible book reader any more. And for another, I need the dimension that TV brings.
It was the right move for Magic, and it will be a good thing for the Lakers if they get smart and hire a basketball person now. Someone who’s going to put in the time required.
I couldn’t tell you a thing about it either. Never watched, never thought about watching.
The Triple V treatment is about right.
We’re heading in one direction. Building up defense, killing the middle class, giving society the crumbs of this circus bread in the various forms of entertainment that dull their senses while corporations take over the world. It’s only a matter of when, not if.
I’ve not seen that one yet. I’ll have to check it out.
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I actually have the books and was considering reading them after watching (as I now prefer to do).
Triple-V – that’ll be our code name for ’em!
That is the wrong direction to be going in but I fear you are right.
It’s good. Strings are flying in no time!
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The Triple V . . . order up!
It’s like Mr Robot said, only for realz.
Woot!
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Actually, can’t we just veto the order and vault them into a vehicle that transports them to, no, not Valhalla, something vile and vicious…Damn, no place names like Hades with a V…
Eesh. Scary thought.
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It seems we plum ran out of V’s when it comes to sending these two on a one way trip. And then Voila! I thought my old hangout when I lived in New York, Vinny’s Pizza. It was ‘borrowed’ by the mob, and whenever they had to deal with a weasel such as these two . . they took ’em for a swim in Rockaway.
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There ya go! I knew you would sweep in victoriously!
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It was woith a shot! 😉
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😁😘
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😘😁😘
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Oooh! You one-upped me!😘😘
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Perty much . . .😘😘
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Haha! I guess I shall stop her coz this can go on all day…🥰
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You speak da troof. 😘
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You are decidedly my favourite nut. It’s why I love ya to bits! 😚
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When you put it that way, it makes me very cool with the “u”.
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More than very.
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Name a successful manager/coach/GM who was a superstar player. There may be a few, but most who try don’t succeed. The best ones who come up through the playing ranks are typically the scrubs or middle of the pack players.
Game of Thrones .. never watched an episode. I considered it a few years ago, but instead of watching it, I read the first two books in the series and by the time I was done with the second book, I was done with the whole thing, including any idea of watching the show.
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Jerry West is the only one I came up with on the fly. Riley was a plugger, not a great player by any definition. And it’s what made him such a great coach. Magic was going to get the job as President of the Lakers if he wanted it, because he’s Magic. But nothing on his resume pointed to him deserving such a gig. If anything, it proved he shouldn’t have scored it. As far as the Lakers are concerned, Jerry Buss isn’t walking through that door . . .
Fantasy was never my thing. The books I enjoyed, but the show I enjoyed more. What I dig about it is that it’s a great beer drinking show. Not that I need the excuse. But when the heads start rolling (literally) and the dragons start flying and that second/thirdish beer starts kicking in? Good times . . .
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Great heroes edition this week, Marc. I always like Brad Paisley as an entertainer but now appreciate him as a human. Magic Johnson? Please go away. Roger Stone has been dipshit forever. He should go away as well. Love the idea of grabbing a shoplifter and then doing the right thing. Nothing like a 29-year-old genius bringing us a black hole photo. Super stories. Thanks for all of it.
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Boss Man,
Paisley had ME listening to country music yesterday. I don’t think Imma live there by any means, but Imma visit from time to time. All that talent and a helluva dude. Righteous.
Magic will go back to being an ambassador to the game. He’s good at schmoozing and networking. Jeannie Buss ain’t gonna break up with him totally, can’t see that happening.
Stone is a douche, simple as that.
Singh’s response to that threw me for a loop. And Cedric Bishop getting in on the good vibes by handing the kid a ten spot (he also posted on FB later) was just perfect.
The kid is a genius who got this big kid interested in science again (for the first time). For her next feat of brainy strength, I heard she’s going to study ways to unlock the mysteries of the black hole at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. This one will be a tad bit more challenging.
Gracias for the love.
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Ha haha. We all have to wish her well on the Washington gig.
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Methinks she (and we) are best served if she keeps to studying space. There’s more to learn on that front, LOL.
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It’s like you took a cruise down south on the old River Queen.
Was thinking Mr. Imma about Magic stepping down. Do you think maybe he might not be well? I know we’ve gotten pretty accustomed, not to mention casual, about his HIV-Positiveness, always smiling, always positive, that Mr. Johnson. It just sounds to me, that more will be revealed.
Just seeing Pat Reilly’s name in print makes my heart thump, that sexy hairline of his, he should leave to Science, or the Basketball Hall of Fame, if they ever erect one, or maybe they have.
How come men just get hotter as they age while women look like faded watercolors? Sigh
A Thin Girl’s modest contribution
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Susannah,
I hope you’re wrong about Magic, I really do. The thought passed through my head but I dismissed it. Because the truth of the matter is I like being able to critique a legend, with no hard feelings. His failing as President doesn’t change who he is or what he has meant. If anything, his gold standard career made his future job as President that much more difficult. It ain’t easy living up to what those old Magic led Lakers teams did for the organization and the league.
My head spins at the thought that it’s been twenty eight years since the Magic announcement. It was a truly surreal moment.
They did erect a Basketball Hall of Fame. Not just for Riles, ;). It’s great to have a fellow Riley fan in tow.
Oh stop it. You’re looking at things from your side of the fence. Y’all ladies are looking fine. And not fine as defined in Merriam Webster, nah. Fine as defined by the late, great James Brown. As in tasty.
You are humble and modest. That there is a dollar on the two cents. And I’m grateful for the exchange. 🙂
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I honestly hope that wasn’t a reason for anything. And yes, that was a watershed across the tote board alright.
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I hope so too. I hope it’s just that he was bored with all the deets and didn’t want to deal with it. I want to get back to criticizing him for walking away from the Lakers gig so soon. It’s real life stuff but it’s not THAT real life stuff.
Perspective is something else.
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He’s also getting older and may want to just enjoy himself…relax a little. The stress that job comes with, must be huge.
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I think he’s a different personality than the typical exec. Whereas a dude like Riley loves the grunt work, Magic ain’t about that.
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You know more than me.
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In this respect perhaps.
But we both know Riley. 🙂
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Yes, and he’s pretty tall too. I was surprised by this. I remember being invited to a Knicks event, where there was a buffet before the game. It was the first and only time I ever sat on the Garden’s floor, and couldn’t get over how big these men were. Charles Oakley left such an impression. They looked like trees in shorts and ginny-ts.
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Well he was an NBA player once. Ever see the old footage of Riley when he played for the Lakers in the ’70s? It was his pre slicked back look. He had a bushy mane and a beard.
Pat Riley Trivia. He was in the running to score the part that went to Kurt Russell in Tequila Sunrise.
Oh, and Oakley has become persona non grata at the Garden thanks to that fool, Dolan.
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I didn’t know Pat was sparring with Kurt, and that bushy look I’m kinda glad I missed. I like the Brillcream Pat.
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He didn’t go Brillcream until he scored the Lakers head coaching job. He had been working as a Lakers game analyst, sans the slick . He decided to change up his look for the job and the rest, as they say, is history.
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It was a great move. His sex appeal quadrupled. 🙂
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My bromance with him didn’t include his sex appeal, but I appreciate how you and me are big fans from opposite sides of the fence just the same. It’s kitschy.
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I remember how he’d stand with his hands on his hips pacing. Like a cougar in a well tailored suit.
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Thin Girl talking Riles on a Sunday afternoon, how cool is THAT?!
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I remember seeing him walking out of Elaine’s many moons ago. My heart had to sit down. He had a lot of presence back then. Like a light, same as what Jackie O had.
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He was right out of central casting when he was Lakers Boss. But when he came to New York, he cemented his legacy and became transcendent. He was cool with the threads but he led that team like a mafioso, backing down from no one- not even the great Michael Jordan.
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Yeah, he was formidable alright.
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That’s like when Robert Durst, millionaire (who apparently killed people), shoplifted, and that’s how he originally ended up in custody after one murder.
Let’s ask Winona Ryder — she may be able to provide some shoplifting insight.
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Law enforcement really should be forever grateful for the stupidity of most criminals.
It reminds me of a girl I dated in high school who was part of a shoplifters club. I would drive her and her friends out to Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream NY and they would do their thing. Unbeknownst to me, of course. When I learned of this ‘ring’, I stopped dating her.
Now here’s the thing. I didn’t stop dating because she was a thief. Heck, I had friends who stole cars. I stopped dating her because she was a petty thief. You gotta draw the line somewhere.
Winona simply decided to forego the BOGO sales and instead partake in a GOGO (Get one, get one) sale.
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One of the best virtues with GoT music is the cello and you highlighted my favorite two performers of the instrument. Well done, Marc!
I wish SmelLAwould get rid of all the egos killing that team. No wait, maybe I don’t. Talented as all get out but too stupidly shallow and ego-maniacal, it leaves a spot for the Nuggets to (hopefully) shine. Go Joker! 🏀
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Thank you Monika, glad you dig!
The Lakers are a mess. And now they’ll hire a coach who is acceptable for LeBron . . whose career is winding down. Add to that they have a bunch of players who aren’t crazy about the fact they were going to be trade bait. I dunno if things get better in LA anytime soon. We’ll see . . .
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