First Draft Horoscopes

Today’s Birthday! 

Just because you are right doesn’t mean everyone else is wrong . . . okay, of course it does. It’s not you, it really is them . . all of them. And don’t let the voices in your head tell you differently. When you are proven correct today, try and resist the urge to gloat or boast. But failing that, make sure you take to social media and really let them have it, the clueless asshats. The most effective way to alienate people and harm your reputation is through arrogance, so remember to really pour it on. I mean, who needs people? Especially this week . . since you haven’t seen Game of Thrones yet and it’s a certainty someone is gonna fuck it up for you. It’s okay to feel proud of yourself, and while you really shouldn’t do so at the expense of others, there are exceptions. Like, sleeping with the spouse of your arch-nemesis. Talk about a dark spirit win! You could be humble, but that comes about as naturally to you as poetry and commitment.

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