Family Value$- Rep. Duncan Hunter out of California is what Big Politics is all about. He is expert at talking out of both sides of his mouth; railing on about wanton spending and people’s personal lives whilst playing the role of Hugh Hefner in sequined Uncle Sam hat. Last year, Hunter and his wife were charged with bogarting a quarter of a million G-Dubs from his campaign war chest for family outings, private school tuition and beer runs (well, it said personal expenses but the dude likes beer). And wait! There’s more! He re-purposed even ‘mo money for ski trips, bar tabs (told ya) and hotel trysts with various congressional aides. His “Do as I say and not as I do,” act needs to get slam dunked.
Let’s get high!- I watched Nik and Lijana Walenda walk the high wire over Times Square . . the night after it happened. On YouTube. Because hells if I was gonna watch it live. The duo tiptoed across a 1,300 feet wire the width of a quarter, 25 feet off the ground. Oh, and it was Lijana’s first walk since a near fatal fall two years ago in which she broke every bone in her face. For those who shrugged off the performance on account of the fact they wore harnesses (NYC law), ummm . . . let’s see them try it.
There’s a catch- Next time some football diva celebrates a touchdown catch, Imma clap back with this video because “That’s not a catch . . . that’s a catch!” Check out this kid in Turkey as he catches a toddler who fell from a window. And if babies ever start falling from the sky, dial him up.
Girls just wanna have fun- Okay, the US women’s soccer team is a lousy act when it comes to sportsmanship. I got some flak for letting them off the hook in last week’s episode of Heroes, but lemme ‘splain. I’m a Yankees fan (Death Star) who digs on Negan from Walking Dead and Darth Vader. The girls are hated in many corners, and rightfully so, but I happen to find them interesting as hell. And unlike the men’s soccer team, they get shit done.
Fuck that- Imma root on the girls because they make the pitch a sexy intrigue, but Megan Rapinoe’s got to ditch the four letter sorties she’s flinging at Trump. She ain’t the first person to engage in a rubber band fight with .45. From De Niro to Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib, the middle finger movement has one thing in common. It doesn’t work. Kudos to Rapinoe for coming out this week and saying that while she still ain’t stepping foot inside 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, she shouldn’t have used a four letter reply in saying so. That’s more like it.
My kind of (sports) town- I’m of the opinion that St Louis Cardinals fans are the best fans in baseball. They helped prove me right this week with a five minute standing ovation for Albert Pujols- who left the Cards in 2012 and signed a $210 million dollar contract with the Angels. It was his first trip back to the Gateway City since, and the hometown fans made Pujols feel as if he never left. They didn’t boo him for leaving, they cheered him for what he meant when he was theirs. At Busch Stadium, class is always in session.
Is there a Lemonhead Law?- A car dealership in Alabama (It’s hilarious already, right?) is offering up a holy shit of a deal for anyone who buys a new or pre-owned car. “Gods, Guns and Freedom” will gift each customer a bible, an American flag . . . and a 12-gauge shotgun. In a Facebook post, Chatom Ford heralds the promotion as an opportunity to “celebrate our independence”. From what? Sanity?
Great call, Ump- Last week I shared a story about what NOT to do when you’re a parent by chatting up those imbeciles who rumbled during a game being played by seven year old kids. The fight was precipitated by a call made by the umpire, who’s all of thirteen years old.
It’s a good thing we have peeps like Chris Guccione, who gets it. Guccione is a MLB umpire who read the story and then decided to reach out to the family of Josh Cordova- that thirteen year old umpire. Guccione invited them to be his guests at a game he will be calling in Colorado, between the Rockies and the Los Angeles Dodgers.
“This is my state, this is where my heart is,” Guccione, a Colorado native, told The Denver Post on Thursday. “So when I saw the incident that happened, I was concerned. I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is in my backyard.'”
Forget killing the ump, let’s kiss this one instead.