First Draft Horoscopes


The line between family and work life is doing more zigs and zags than David Cassidy on a traffic stop. If you ain’t down with metaphorical formulas, it means your business has a drinking problem. But hey, since you can’t seem to control yourself, maybe it’s high time you tried on your entrepreneurial hat! And you can use your family members to help you in your new venture. This clean slate will allow you to show off your remarkable skill set and your brilliant people skills as you shine in your new career!

Okay, who’re we kidding? You can filch their skills and personalities . . with the added bonus that you don’t have to pay ’em, cause they’re family!

This new lease on life might be just the tonic for your flagging spirit (Add gin for maximum entertainment value). You’ll find your ideas (theirs) will flow and your emotions will be very much available. Because there’s nothing like mixing business with family to bring out every last ounce of hostility. Seriously, you thought wine was a truth serum? Just you wait chappy, this shit is about to get realer than a Carly Simon love song.Β  Just be yourself, as shitty as the prospect might be. The rest will take care of itself, unfortunately.

Questions or concerns regarding your horoscope? Call 1-877-OHH-WELL.Β 


64 thoughts on “First Draft Horoscopes

  1. B,

    I’ll have to share this one with my mother – she is a Leo after all πŸ˜‰ Tee hee… Dunno that she’s got the same funny bone as I have. Methinks I may have inherited it more from Daddy.

    The thing about these snarky and fun horoscopes of yours? There is a snippet of truth!

    Great song, of course. Always a fun read!


    Liked by 1 person

    • Q,

      I know lots of Leos, and mango . . they run the gamut. But they do have one thing in common. They’re all pretty stubborn and opinionated.

      Snippets. Just enough to throw down a shot with and laugh about without getting all pissed off though. And besides, I’ve lambasted my kind (Libras) quite thoroughly. So there are no sacred cows.

      The song had to match if I was gonna do a song. And really, how could I resist? πŸ˜‰


      Liked by 1 person

  2. “more zigs and zags than David Cassidy on a traffic stop”….bahahahaha! Love your snarly horoscopes.

    Just one correction. My family helps me in my business and I pay them large bucks (Annual salary….$20!) Don’t want to take advantage of them. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL. I thought the same thing when I pulled this song.
      Now . . I ain’t casting any aspersions but . . . buahahaha! And it’s funny because my sweet daughter is a Leo. But yeah . . she’s very stubborn.

      Liked by 1 person

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