The line between family and work life is doing more zigs and zags than David Cassidy on a traffic stop. If you ain’t down with metaphorical formulas, it means your business has a drinking problem. But hey, since you can’t seem to control yourself, maybe it’s high time you tried on your entrepreneurial hat! And you can use your family members to help you in your new venture. This clean slate will allow you to show off your remarkable skill set and your brilliant people skills as you shine in your new career!
Okay, who’re we kidding? You can filch their skills and personalities . . with the added bonus that you don’t have to pay ’em, cause they’re family!
This new lease on life might be just the tonic for your flagging spirit (Add gin for maximum entertainment value). You’ll find your ideas (theirs) will flow and your emotions will be very much available. Because there’s nothing like mixing business with family to bring out every last ounce of hostility. Seriously, you thought wine was a truth serum? Just you wait chappy, this shit is about to get realer than a Carly Simon love song. Just be yourself, as shitty as the prospect might be. The rest will take care of itself, unfortunately.
Questions or concerns regarding your horoscope? Call 1-877-OHH-WELL.
Be Sorry . . . Less 
I’m gonna need to keep the number on speed dial.
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Buahahaha! You do that. Lemme know how it works out for you. 😉
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I tried calling several times. Kept getting a busy signal.
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Damn, they probably had to switch business suites again. Those zany psychics, always trying to stay one step ahead of the bill collectors . . .
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Do you realize that kids these days don’t know what a busy signal sounds like?
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And that sucks. It would do ’em some good to know such a thing. I think Imma look for a busy signal ringtone now . . .
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B,
I’ll have to share this one with my mother – she is a Leo after all 😉 Tee hee… Dunno that she’s got the same funny bone as I have. Methinks I may have inherited it more from Daddy.
The thing about these snarky and fun horoscopes of yours? There is a snippet of truth!
Great song, of course. Always a fun read!
Q
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Q,
I know lots of Leos, and mango . . they run the gamut. But they do have one thing in common. They’re all pretty stubborn and opinionated.
Snippets. Just enough to throw down a shot with and laugh about without getting all pissed off though. And besides, I’ve lambasted my kind (Libras) quite thoroughly. So there are no sacred cows.
The song had to match if I was gonna do a song. And really, how could I resist? 😉
B
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B, I love your new use of “mango”, btw… and YES you have hit the nail on the head with this one.
Absolutely. Enough to get ’em thinking, too 😉 Looking forward to next month’s. I am SURROUNDED by DamnVirgos. (I always write it this way.) Mine’s a long way off so I’ll have to be patient. I don’t think you were doing these last March/April 😉
Of course. It had to match or it made no sense And of course, you da man when it comes to marrying the two together.
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I rarely come across a good mango, so Imma use it somehow. Gotta!
My horoscopes have run scattershot, so I’m not even sure who I’ve covered and who I’ve yet to do.
I take the actual “today’s birthday” horoscope and then I completely ransack the sonofabitch until it’s almost unrecognizable.
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And why not?
All good… I’m expecting mine next year.
I realise that is what you do. At least I assumed that was what you did! Only you can take it to this level.
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Why not indeed!
I have to look back and see if I did one. These posts are just spur of the moment. Nothing to write about? Do a horoscope!
Next level . . basement! Buahahahahaha!
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🙂
I did a quick search before making my comment and did not find it… but then, I was preparing my WW for you and it only gave me five entries. Of course, I did not go into a deep search 😉
Buahahaha! Oh the fun I’ve had in basements….
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Aries, correct?
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Yep. I searched – you haven’t done a “First Draft” style one.
All good… I can wait 😉
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Nope, I guess not. Like I said, it’s a crazy quilt of posts. I never know when the ten second inspiration will hit me, LOL
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And there is nothing wrong with that!
I like how your crazy quilt works, quite frankly.
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Truth be told, my OCD doesn’t allow me to fixate on signs. Because if it were up to me, each month would be its own sign, rather than sharing them with another sign. That confuses the fuck out of me.
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OCD, eh? I have to admit that it annoys the shit out of me that each sign is part of two months. Why? And, as if that is not enough, now they are saying they are shifting… I am sorry, by I am NOT a Pisces… 😉
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It’s much better than it was, but it’s still there.
Shifting? What in the blessed fuck? This isn’t like switching from being a Republican to a Democrat! Hell . . this would be like switching allegiances from the Canadiens to the Maple Leafs.
As in . . . not happening!
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I’ve discovered mine working as a waitress. I didn’t think I had it… Now? What the hell? Put all the salt and pepper shakers in the same order! Put all the sugars to the right, not willly-nilly! Square the tables so the tablecloths are all aligned. Shaking my own head. Where the hell did that come from?
Oh hell naw.
Not happening.
Evah.
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I curtailed my habits, but I couldn’t quit them cold turkey. When I tried to do so, I got so depressed. So there are still things I do, but they’re not obvious ones any longer. Not obvious to anyone else, I should say. To me? I know it all too well.
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Good for you. It can be quite disconcerting to have too many. And a little order never hurt anyone, right? And if it’s not disturbing anyone else, then…
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But I can see where it can get in the way of a person’s life when it becomes too much.
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Did you ever see the movie with Nicolas Cage and Sam Rockwell – “Matchstick Men”? There was a severe case…
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I vaguely remember the movie, never saw it though.
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Was good… 😉
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I love Sam Rockwell. He’s so snarky and genuine in his roles.
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He knows how to play a schmuck really well. And in this one? Oy!!
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He really does! LOL.
But as in Shawshank, you’re really hating this guy and then it occurs to you how good he is as an actor.
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Exackery!
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😉
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“more zigs and zags than David Cassidy on a traffic stop”….bahahahaha! Love your snarly horoscopes.
Just one correction. My family helps me in my business and I pay them large bucks (Annual salary….$20!) Don’t want to take advantage of them. 😉
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LOL! When I think Zig Zag, I think David Cassidy traffic stop. Some people think sewing, but not me.
Oh crap, I’m sorry Ella. I didn’t realize you had your fam living large!
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The Tokens, huh? Never knew who did that song. Leo’s a little short on creativity? Too busy lording it over everyone, I suppose.
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LOL. I thought the same thing when I pulled this song.
Now . . I ain’t casting any aspersions but . . . buahahaha! And it’s funny because my sweet daughter is a Leo. But yeah . . she’s very stubborn.
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Thankfully I’m not a Leo … obviously since I don’t like gin. Fortunately, a ways to go to my sign.
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Don’t you worry Frank. I’m an equal opportunity offender, 😉
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CEOO – Chief Equal Opportunity Offender – quite the title … and I realize you will get to Aquarius.
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That’s me. Oh . . no doubt.
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…. and a CEOO without sarcasm.
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Hey, an update. I thought I was onto something with that whole sarcasm thing. I went all the way back to Plato and then moved forward. I got to Shakespeare, after which the trail runs cold.
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Getting to Shakespeare is important because know we are getting closer to explaining Canada.
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This is truth.
Hey, I did come up with an idea for that “The Answer” post. It is pretty far removed from the sexy sultry but it does involve dance, and there are acts/chapters to this story.
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I knew you could … and if you pursue it, I look forward to your version!
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Yeah, I have it in draft- beginning and end are figured out. Now for the great big middle.
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For a writer as yourself, easy stuff.
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You’re gonna make me blush.
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Mixing business with family-tell it to 45. And thank you for the lovely ear worm to send me off to slumber-land. 🎶…in the jungle, the mighty jungle…🎶
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Yeah, what an example. And don’t the Russians . . .
That song DOES have ear worm qualities, doesn’t it?
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I always think horror-scopes (not yours of course) are written in the shower. I loved the Tokens by the way…they were like Jay and the Americans…LET’S lock the door and throw away the key now….
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Absolutely. Not so much cosmic as coast (soap).
Now you’re talking!
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Coast…is that the brand of soap you use? I’m a Dove girl myself.
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How funny. I use Dove also. Dove for Men. 🙂
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It smells so good. Plus my mother used to send it to me in between year long fights, so it’s in my DNA besides. Soap Stories.
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I used to watch soaps when I was going to school. As the World Turns.
I realize it’s the wrong soap, but your soap stories got me thinking.
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My mother was a Search For Tomorrow fan she’d religiously watch while she ironed. Then came Another World with Mac and Raquel I thought were relatives. My fist acting job was an under 5 on All My Children. It was in a restaurant, and I think I said…I think I’ll have the fish. Bette Davis, move over. 🙂
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Love that memory.
I love having an honest to goodness actress on the premises. Don’t worry, I never fawn. But I dig, very much.
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Oh please. I was the worst actress on the planet. I was like Judy Holiday in Singing in the Rain…I cayan’t stan’ em. A poor rendition.
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Oh please you, LOL.
You’re an actress, and I’m not taking it back. SB, we are living in an age where reality show ‘contestants’ consider themselves celebrities. You were an actual actress. Real deal.
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I’m no Kim Kardashian…sigh..do you know she bought Jackie’s famous tank watch at auction? Now that’s proof the world is goin’ to hell in a pillbox hat. sigh
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I hate that. Hey . . how is your felonious skill set these days Cat Woman? I’m feeling like Bono with Manson’s Helter Skelter.
Kim K stole it from Camelot, and we should steal it back.
PS- This comment will self destruct in ten seconds.
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She’s apparently a Jackie fan too. So is Melania. Can’t blame them, but that watch The Smithsonian actually makes a copy of you can purchase along with some other of her tasteful baubles, really should have stayed in the family. What’s up with that Caroline? She sold it at that mega auction of all her mother’s things. It brought a HUGE amount and paid for the hefty inheritance tax she and John owed. And, her mother before she went to that great Camelot on the sky, told them to. Said they’d make a fortune, and they did. I know so much crap, don’t I Mr. Imma.
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What was that I was saying about Google? 😉
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