Villains Of The Week!

Homelander

Our weekly Heroes post has gone missing in a diabolical plan by the League of Zeroes to take over the free world!

Too much? Okay, here’s the deal. Y’all make these weekly posts worth the price of admission. I’m just the scribe whose crib gets the props. Seriously, Dale is always shaking loose a great story for these posts, and Frank is grabbing good stuff on the regular as well. And now Susannah has joined in on the fun, with a calamitously criminal crush of an idea: An All Villains of the Week post.

Sold!

This week, it’s zeroes across the board. Some are sub-zero degenerates, some are just annoying, and then you have those who are simply misunderstood. Okay . . I’m talking about that lady bandit, but I’m sorry . . I think she’s awesome. So let’s begin with her, coo?

America’s Most (Definitely) Wanted- First there was Smokey and the Bandit. Then you had the Wet Bandits. And now the newest member of the club, the Pink Lady Bandit, who was taken into custody, along with an accomplice on Sunday. They robbed at least four banks, and I gotta say . . I am super impressed. Who robs banks anymore? I mean, without an executive order? And doesn’t the FBI have anything better to do than go after independent contractors who are simply looking to bring some nostalgia back to the world of crime?

Knotted Knickers- James Dolan is proof that money doesn’t buy brains. The New York Knicks owner has turned the once proud franchise into a dumpster fire. The only thing this chump is good at is kicking people out of his yard. He had franchise icon Charles Oakley forcibly removed from the Garden. He’s also had a Knicks fan removed for telling him the truth; that he should sell the team. And last weekend, Dolan had a reporter from Businessweek removed from The Paramount Theater when he got wind she was there as part of a story she was doing on Dolan. Even though he doesn’t own the venue, he was able to have her removed since he was performing with his band, JD & The Straight Shot. Come to think of it, maybe he did her a favor.

Only three things in life are certain- Death, taxes, and a Facebook mom-rant. In the latest Mama-geddon, a mom is blaming childless peeps who go to Disney for ruining her toddler’s magical visit. Yep, she got pissed at the fact that her three year old son had a tantrum when he couldn’t get a pretzel because the line was too long. Never mind that the line is always too long because . . it’s Disney. And never mind the fact that he’s three years old and is not going to remember a single thing about their trip. This unhinged individual went on to call childless Disney goers “cunts”, “tramps” and “bitches”. So she rails on childless peeps while showing herself to be a poor example of how a parent should behave. Makes perfect sense.

Author Ponzirelli- Bernie Madoff is asking for clemency from President Trump, and it’ll be interesting (frightening) to see if he gets it. Madoff shook loose almost sixty five billion dollars from the pockets of 4,800 clients in the largest financial fraud case in American history. That number exceeds the annual budgets of all but five states, if you’re keeping score at home. He’s currently serving a 150 year sentence in a federal prison, which is too lenient if you ask me. He is a fucking vampire after all.

A Titanic Rumble- A couple was arrested last Friday for their part in a chaise clearing brawl on a British owned cruise ship. The shenanigans ensued after an afternoon of partying on deck, with one of the revelers taking offense to a passenger who was dressed like a clown. Where’s an iceberg when you really need one?

The NFL’s Domestic Abuse Problem- The league and its commissioner just can’t seem to get domestic abuse right.

Take Tyreek Hill, for instance. In 2014, Hill was dismissed from Oklahoma State after choking and punching his pregnant girlfriend in the face and stomach. And in March of this year, Hill was under investigation for alleged battery after his three year old son suffered a broken arm. In a subsequent audiotape in which Hill and his fiancee are discussing the investigation, she tells him their son is terrified of him to which Hill responds “. . you should be terrified of me too, bitch,”. Nonetheless, Hill received no punishment.

There are three zeroes here. Hill being the most obvious of course. But we can’t forget the Kansas City Chiefs, who are really good at taking on bad guys. To show how contrite they were about the Hill investigation, the Chiefs traded for Frank Clark this off-season. Clark was arrested and prosecuted on domestic violence charges in 2014. In 2017, he went after a female reporter on Twitter after she had the audacity to write about his past. Oh yeah . . and this is the same team that drafted Kareem Hunt, who likely would still be playing in KC if not for the videotape that surfaced of of him assaulting a woman in a Cleveland nightclub.

The NFL is complicit as well, what with all the chances they give these creeps. Roger Goodell and Company insist they care about women, but really . . who could tell? (And here’s an excellent piece about the league’s not so benevolent side,)

Welp, that’ll do it for the first ever Villains post. At some future point in time, Imma put on my rose colored glasses and write up an All Heroes post. But umm . . . don’t hold your breath.

78 thoughts on “Villains Of The Week!

  1. Took our kids to Disneyland three times over the course of their childhood. Swore I never would go back. But now I am. Without kids. And I’m going to get in every line I can and slow things down.

    I’ll bet money that Trump will grant Madoff’s request — just the type of thing he would do to piss people off.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I took my kids to Disney World once. And once was plenty nuff. We enjoyed the hell out of the place, but really, it was once and done as far as we were concerned.

      Oh, he won’t stop with a pardon. He’s gonna hire him for some position within the administration. It’s so his style.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You and I have engaged in bashing, er…sharing our thoughts on professional sports team owners in the past and nothing here has changed my mind on the depths as to how low teams will go. From turning a blind eye to domestic abuse, to gouging ticket holders and holding taxpayers hostage with greedy stadium demands, sports teams continue to display a level depravity without parallel (they seem to be in competition with a certain political leader as to who’s worse). And that self-absorbed Disney visitor needs to be banned. Permanently. What a piece of work! Sounds like somebody missed more than a few naps and I’m not referring to the 3 year old.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I used to go to a couple football games a year, and a playoff game now and again as well. I don’t think I’ll ever go again. Watching it on TV is fine. I don’t have to stand in line, I get to change channels when the game bores me and I don’t have to deal with the knucklehead fans who don’t know how to handle their alcohol. A few years back the Dolphins were in Baltimore and my friends were going and just assumed I would be in. Nope. I wasn’t interested.

      That was unhinged, that rant of hers. I feel sorry for the kid! And LOL . . yeah, she needs a week long nap maybe.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Now we have the pure villain crap without having a “good guy” sorbet in between. I like that. On the NFL. We all need to quit thinking of the NFL as a body who gives a shit about anything but itself. Yeah, they put out “we care,” hype but we have to stop raising our hopes that they mean it. The gangster players only play by the grace of the fans. How about a boo fest like we had with Michael Vick to let the creeps know we hate them? Madoff? He will be appointed Secretary of the Treasury unless Trump had some funds with his organization. I took the kids to Disneyland and World. Had a blast. Wished all the parents with kids would have stayed home though. I wish I could have been on that boat to see the chaises hit the surf. Good post, Marc. Have a great weekend

    Liked by 1 person

  4. B,

    Man, am I late to the party today!

    Hah! I love that…” independent contractors who are simply looking to bring some nostalgia back to the world of crime.” It’s true, who robs banks anymore? The Pink Lady Bandit did! How the hell did I miss this story? Oh yeah. Haven’t turned on the TV in over a week.

    You know what I think? Dolan has taken a page from Trump’s book. Don’t like what they said/did/thought? Kick ’em out.

    Good fucking grief. Been there, done that Disney thing. Bucket list checked (coz Mick REALLY wanted to go, of course for the boys. Ahem. Too bad he missed most of it laid up in the hospital!) I saw all these ridiculous people with children under 5 wasting their money as, you’re right, they ain’t no way they are gonna remember much. And children who have tantrums should not get treats anyway. Only thing one must bring to Disney besides loads of cash is even more patience. Something that is a miracle if you can keep for the whole time there.

    Do NOT get me started on Madoff asking for clemency. You are on the ball on this one. He is a fucking vampire. He sucked the lifeblood out of way too many – one would have been too many but he had bigger goals. I would be frankly surprised if your Goof at the Top doesn’t actually consider it.

    For fuck’s sake. They should have been made to walk the plank. You’re on vacation, man, RELAX!

    The NFL and Kansas City, in particular, are a bad joke. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact they keep taking on these criminals. And seriously? Too macho to allow a man who actually gives a shit the right to wear pink?

    Fabulous post with perfect musical accompaniment, as per.

    Q

    Like

    • Q,

      I was early and then I was late to the comment! Buahahaha!

      The Pink Lady Bandit is really a hero (in my book) but for the sake of jurisprudence, her appearance on this villainous page was apropos. Seriously though, I hope she gets a reality show on the other side- complete with simulated robberies and her play by play. I’d watch.

      Dolan is a rich boy who doesn’t know any better. These rich kids buy sports teams and then, instead of hiring people who know what they’re doing, decide they’re going to run things as if it’s a Sims game. Pathetic.

      My kids were 12 and 10 when we went, which was the perfect age. We did all the rides and had a great time. Lost weight too, what with all the walking and ninety degree temps, LOL.

      Madoff really thinks he’s deserving of leniency, which is a howl. He begs, borrows, steals, plots, manipulates and ruins business associates, friends and even his family, and then he wants us to feel badly for him. They really should add 150 years to his sentence just for asking. As for Trump? Nothing would surprise me.

      What is it with vacation fights? To my way of thinking it’s like peeps who fight when they’re inebriated. Makes no blessed sense to me why you would waste a perfectly chill moment that way.

      The problem with the NFL’s Pink Month is that it’s full of shit. They sell merchandise, a portion of which they pocket. And as that article attests, there is way more to the agenda for the league. All the while, giving these criminals second, third and fourth chances sometimes. If the league was really serious about domestic abuse, they would hammer the offenders. And they could skip wearing the pink merch and just make a real deal donation to the ACS.

      Gracias. The song came to me right away.

      B

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well there ya go. We’re even.

        Yanno she probably will. Just for being original – in an old-school kinda way!

        It is pathetic. G’head. Buy a team rich boy. Then find peeps to run it I know. What am I saying….

        Mine were 11 and 12! Tell me about the walking. Mind you, we went in December 2009 for my biggest kid (Mick)’s birthday and it was unseasonably cold. We even had to wear jeans…

        He’s lost his mind. You know. It’s like the fools who acted like. Oh, the guy’s 92 now, should we really try him for his Nazi crimes? Uh. Yeah.

        I don’t get it. Drunken fights even less. Your brain is already addled by booze. Back off, dumbass.

        Actually, anything “Pink” is full of shit. Nothing more than a marketing ploy. No second, never mind third and fourth, chances. Pay for your sins not only in time but in helping the cause you fucked with.

        It was almost a given, this one!

        Like

        • Truer words, there ain’t none.

          I dig that very much. Having grown up around a fair amount of criminality, I have a very different view of crime than most. Rapists? Kill ’em. Pedophiles? Yep, them too. Hit a woman? Get your hands broken for good. But robbing banks? You earned that shit. You put your ass out there and while, yes, it was stupid, I also find it endearing as hell. The Pink Lady Bandit is like Thelma and Louise on payday.

          Dolan has turned that franchise into a fucking punchline. It’s just a toy to him.

          Jeans? That sounds delightful! Hey, do you know the ride that scared me most of all? The monorail. Because when you get on that thing, there ain’t no escape. If there was a fire, it’s all over but the screaming. I wrote a couple posts about my visit to Disney for the Gorilla. Imma have to repost them on here at some point.

          Right, I know! Old age ain’t matter.

          I am a mellow boozer. When I drink, I get all chill, in appreciation for the magic juice that helped me to arrive at such a wonderful locale.

          Amen sister. And when the author of that story broke it down, the costs of the donation, per team, was pocket change. Literally. It was and is a PR thing, and that’s just shameful.

          Seriously. I thought about Michael Jackson’s “Bad” for a second and a half and was like . . . Naaaahhhhhhh!!!

          Liked by 1 person

          • 🙂

            I’m with you. Be done with the rapists and pedophiles and proven killers. Hitting a woman (ok, ok, or a man) – that’s a great idea, break their hands good. Robbing banks, especially when no one gets hurt, I dunno, Butch and Sundance were so charming 😉

            It’s a crime, isn’t it? To take a team and ruin it?

            Jeans are find and good but it was meant to point out how cold it was 😉 We didn’t do the monorail but I’ve done it in Montreal and have to admit you are trapped. Please do. I’m sure I’ll not be the only one to enjoy them.

            Nope. Age ain’t but a number.

            That’s a good thing. Why get all friggen fired up Waste o’ energy in my books but some, man, it gives them leave to be loud and obnoxious.

            Oh, I’ve no doubt it was ‘screening’ as we call it. All about the PR and nothing else.

            While that woulda been an ok choice, this one was way bettah

            Liked by 1 person

          • Murder IS wrong however . . . shit happens, yanno? Killing of innocents should be met with swift and certain reprisal. Outside of that, there is a huge field of gray area.

            Butch and Sundance were so damned charming. You’d give them your last dollar, so really, the guns were overkill.

            It really is. What a dunce this Dolan character is.

            I would rather be chilled than cooking. And those monorails are a fucking safety hazard. But since they go like, three and a half miles an hour, nobody notices.

            It sho is.

            Those peeps are wasting precious alcohol. They shouldn’t be allowed to drink.

            I mean, we are talking about a league that was PAID by the US Armed Services to display that jumbo field sized flag before big games. Once it was found out that the league was actually taking money for it, they were embarrassed into giving it back.

            Oh, this was the song.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Murder is wrong. Well. Yeah. However, that whole eye for an eye thing is not something I don’t agree with when there is 100% proof. Why pay a fortune keeping this scum alive to wreak havoc in prison? But yeah, there is way too much grey.

            They were – especially when you have Redford and Newman 😉 And honestly the guns only came out as props – in the beginning 😉

            Dolan the Dunce

            Buahaha! Honestly, who really chooses to go on the monorail?

            Yep.

            They are! Honestly…

            Really? Now I am doubly disgusted.

            Oh, It WAS.

            Like

          • I think there are definitely cases in which it’s for the best. But I’m referring more to the justice meted out by one individual on another. The state oftentimes will fuck up a glass of water, after which independent contractors (there’s that term again!) are introduced to the situation to clean things up.

            Buahahaha! This is true. Those two didn’t need no stinking guns!

            From what I remember, we took the monorail to get into the parks. I can’t imagine I would have chosen to hop aboard a tube that sat a hundred feet off the ground with no way off between stations.

            I think its a crime when peeps waste alcohol. Not serious enough to warrant an independent contractor though . . 😉

            Yes! Isn’t that the worst? And to think they really were going to charge our armed services for that ‘patriotic’ display. Wow. Just wow.

            Now I wonder what I MIGHT have come up with if Bad Company hadn’t come through for me.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Absolutely – thought we are not supposed to think that, are we?

            Those smiles were enough to charm the money out… and other stuff, if they wanted to!

            That makes sense. We were camping and could have taken a boat directly to Magic Kingdom but I didn’t know that and ended up driving around a huge loop THEN had to take a bus. Fuck…

            Right. Waste is one thing; WASTE is another 😉

            Pfft. Just. Pfft.

            Got yer thinkin’ cap on, eh? Don’t bother for this one as you chose perfectly and need think no more!

            Like

          • Nope. So shhhhh!

            Yeah, they had miles worth of it. Which was plenty enough to skip town and get to partying in the next locale.

            The logistics of Mickey World are exhausting as fuck. The actual experience when you’re in the parks is fantastic, I thought.

            Haste makes stupid.

            No thinking required. I like that!

            Liked by 1 person

          • I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did you say something?

            The two of ’em together was irresistible…

            Yes. Once you’re in, you are in for a great time (and long waits).

            It does.

            You think enough already 😉

            Liked by 1 person

          • Huh? Me? No huay Josie!

            It was. They were macho without the bullshit.

            I don’t remember long waits. Except for the one ride that I forget the name of and that ended up being lame anyways.

            This be true.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Nope. Not you, Not me!

            Exackery.

            LOL! I went the week before Christmas. Sigh. On Mick’s birthday, you get six fast passes for the best rides for any time. Which was great because we were at Universal where they have the Rockin Roller Coaster and many of the good rides. However, the next day was Friday. FRIDAY. And he was in the hospital and you had to wait two yours between getting fast passes (by then, I was not willing to pay anything extra – coz… yanno, hospital had ka-chinged me 2 grand for his first night – till I could contact my insurance. The memory… eesh.
            “It’s a Small World” is that classic that you MUST see but is oh so slow…

            It be.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Ugh! There is so much to that whole process, and I think that probably adds to the enjoyment that peeps feel when they’re inside the place. Because they’re just relieved as hell to have gotten there.

            That’s the one!

            Uh huh.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Ugh for sure. And yeah, there is that!

            I had a feeling… we waited for fucking ever as we had a fast pass for Space Mountain – SEVEN hours later… So we waited in line then, used up two hours, got a fast pass for Pirates of the Caribbean, and did that all afternoon, wait in line for one till we could get a fast pass for another. All the while pining (see what I did there?) for Mick laid up in the hospital!

            Yeah.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Clever girl! (Pining . . . 😉

            Yeah, you know . . one of the many perks at Disney. Going back to the hotel and taking my kids to the buffet downstairs. I would partake on a couple of vodka martinis and sleep like a baby. We were like roving Amish people. In bed by 9 and up by 6!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Occasionally 😉

            Ha ha ha! We were at the fantastic Disney campsite (at $83/night back in friggen ’09) and got quite fed up of the breakfast buffet there. But I was hesitant to go anywhere outside of our little circle of campground/hospital/Disney parks. I didn’t even bother buying groceries as we didn’t do more than go there to sleep! I sure as hell wished I was in a hotel at that point.

            Liked by 1 person

  5. Where’s an iceberg when you really need one? I LOVE THAT. I like the Villains verses the Heroes…like ball teams in Blade Runner. And I too like that it’s put to music. I can see the Pink Lady Bandit coming in a glass, with a side’a nuts. Liked this a lot. Mr. Imma.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I mean, really. An iceberg right about then would’ve really helped things along.

      I dig the villains vs heroes too. And Blade Runner huh?

      Pink Lady Bandit for President. Imma write her in. At least she steals money right in front of us.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Blade Runner is a fave of me…those sushi vans that pull up to your kitchen window. Rent it. Indiana Jones in the future eating tuna rolls. That said. You can always lead with the biggest villain of all…the Trumpet who is the worse example on the planet. Manners, laws, courtesy….even George Bush had those. Oh Mr. Imma…I’ll stop since there’s no end to my outrage, bewilderment, chagrin, ire, angst, irritation. And I’m not even a savvy girl when it comes to politics, impolitic or otherwise. Just goes to show you how he gets under everyone’s skin. Nuns I hear, are swearing like sailors.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Eilene, it’s sad how people take to social media to tear down things. It’s sort of like how people get in their cars and then proceed to do all manner of stupid crap that they would never do face to face. Why?

      I get being frustrated by the lines and by a cranky toddler, but don’t take it out on somebody else is all I’m saying.

      Liked by 1 person

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