Your adventurous side might decide it wants to come out and play. So don’t make any appointments tomorrow, because your idea of adventure starts with gin and ends with bail. In fact, you should play it safe: Call in sick, order delivery for dinner and don’t answer your phone. Limit all human contact.
The stars insist you have a hidden talent for an activity other than sleeping with your secretary. Maybe you could try your hand at something extreme: White water rafting, mountain climbing, skydiving, bullfighting, alligator wrestling, rooting for the Orioles, trying convenience store sushi, or shoplifting at Cabela’s. Just be mindful that if you decide to skip with those waterproof thermals, you best have a getaway driver because Cabela’s team members shoot to kill. Those fuckers don’t play.
It’s also a good time to tackle new projects. Like maybe paying off one of your twenty eight credit cards. Maybe it’s time to return your next door neighbor’s prosthetic leg that you’ve been using as a doorstop. Learn how to open the hood of your car. Replace the artificial plants you placed around your house. Prune those middle fingers off the shrubs outside your front door. The sky’s the limit, homie.
Dear Marco,
Ouch, I’m a Virgo. How did you know about the prosthetic leg? I was planning to have it made into a lamp. Besides the neighbor has a new one. And he has a pretty good hop on. Q must’ve told you about the gin and jail. I told her that was our little secret. Mountain climbing and skydiving are out. I’m afraid of heights. I’m not too fond of alligators either. That pretty much leaves convenience store sushi. Ugh. I’ve read the ingredients on that dreck. No thanks. Happy Tuesday.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rochelle,
No worries. Wait until you see what I do with Libra! (Mine). π
Well, I tried coming up with some other use and all I could think of was a lamp, LOL. And A Christmas Story covered that one already so I figured I would go with doorstop.
She didn’t. But I’ve some not so fond memories of gin. It does crazy things. Don’t worry, Q didn’t give up any secrets. π
I have to read the ingredients now, you’ve piqued my curiosity.
Happy Tuesday.
Shalom,
Marco
LikeLiked by 2 people
Marco,
I actually had A Christmas Story in mind, too. π Frageeleee. LOL. Actually Virgos tend to be nitpicky artsy types. I speak for myself, my glass artist friend in NM, my youngest son and his wife. π
L’chaim to a good Tuesday.
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 2 people
I relate to that nitpickyness. But my horoscopes just do their own thing. And the next go round is Libra. My sign. I ain’t going easy on it. LOL
L’chaim!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the weirdest (and probably most inaccurate) view on Virgos I’ve ever seen. We are loyal (to a fault), somewhat intense, a ‘tad’ critical and very analytical. And that whole Orioles/Mason Dixon line thing…nope…that’d never fly in Virgo-land.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Let’s just say I took extreme artistic license on this one. LOL.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Be careful treading Virgo water. Once we’re ‘done,’ we’re DONE. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know it. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was in love with a Virgo once named Dennis, who used to wipe off my shoes after I took them off. If I went to the bathroom, he’d fluff the cushion of the chair i was on, and sex, well…like doin’ it in a baggie. Give me an earthy Taurian or Capricorn any day.
LikeLiked by 2 people
He seems like quite the chap. Doing it in a baggie huh? Can I borrow that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tis yours. I see you’re at the helm bright and early.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aye Aye Captainess.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hubby gave up the gin years ago. Everything else is so … um, not him!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Virgo was too nice. My first draft just couldn’t stand it! LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Had to laugh out loud at this one, Marc. I think you have described every Virgo I have met. I always look back with fond memories of sharing a night with a Vergo that started with gin and ended with bail. That’s why a c-note in my shoe was de rigour in preparation to go out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You were a Boy Scout too huh? Always prepared . . . π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup.
LikeLiked by 1 person
π
LikeLiked by 1 person
B,
I’m surrounded by DamnVirgos and have to say none of ’em are gonna be pleased with this one – see Monika above π They can get their knickers in a knot over the smallest thing.
You’d think after living with three Virgos (father, sisters) I would have learnt something but no… I moved out and in with another. I loved to make him crazy by putting things off-kilter. They do like their things aligned…
Always good for a laugh. Can’t wait to see yours as it’s next!
Q
LikeLiked by 1 person
Q,
But they’re good peeps. And hey, I play equal opportunity offender, because next month, Libra is gonna get a spanking and then some!
You? Tried to mess with someone’s kilter? Say it ain’t so Josie! π
It’s gonna be fuuuuugly!
B
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are. And yeah, I can’t wait to read yours (and have to wait a good long while for mine – but that’s ok, no rush. Times goes fast enough already.
Yep. I did that.
I’ve no doubt π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Libras best start running now, is all I gotta say. It’s funny, because I’ve done these horoscopes so sporadically that I don’t remember who I covered and who I missed!
I’m shocked, I tell you. Shocked! π
With a capital F.
LikeLike
This was so funny. Keep them coming! Like First Drafts On Stephen Colbert when does like Motherβs Day Cards, Christmas, Easter, etc … I just immediately thought of Christmas Story when you said prosthetic leg, had you said prosthetic arm I would have thought The Fugitive:) I think itβs hilarious that people take these things bit too seriously. I mean thereβs a whole relationship strategy based on this stuff. Like OH 2 Leoβs… thatβs disaster. Most of the time if people are happy, brave, exciting, crabby, moody, I mostly attribute that to their family/upbringing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Christmas Story is the winner of the day! LOL.
I like my horoscope reading. When it tells me Imma win the Powerball and meet Vera Farmiga. Otherwise, I am usually indifferent to the stuff.
And I’m with you on that last point of yours. Totes. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny…but – Too positive π
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re a troublemaker! π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whereβs Gemini βοΈ by the way? .. did I miss it? or should I call it? Oh Well π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmm. Lemme check.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here ya are. π
https://sorryless.com/2019/06/04/first-draft-horoscopes-2/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice …do not fear, Iβd say π
And we arenβt that crazy π We r very quiet π€«π or we can behave (if necessary)
LikeLiked by 1 person
A certain amount of crazy is necessary. And good behavior? Is overrated.
LikeLike