Crazy Little Thing

Sorryless49 Comments

“You have to be comfortable in your own skin,”

I offered this thought to my pal Jen a while back after she got done throwing the hammer down on love and its many splintered qualities. Jen ain’t a whiner, so her vendetta had guile and tact and verity to it. It wasn’t a rant nor an idle threat, to which the woman is averse. The diatribe was her “going to the mattresses” moment after having been done wrong. 

The emotional bloodletting was obscenely endearing in its brutal honesty. She doesn’t live her life as if she scored the script from a movie or TV show, which means to say that her what’s what is totally unfiltered, always. Because she happens to believe that parables are for dreamers but truth is for keeps. 

We went for Thai last night and ended up in the tall grasses as we sipped on our mighty fines and shared our respective anecdotes. She told me her ex had finally stopped reaching out to her with apologetic ransoms via online florists and Etsy.

“I got a shit ton of Christmas re-gifting done thanks to him,” She toasted.

And then I told her about my Halloween costume party last week in which I parceled hours of awkward domestic intrigue into a pretty fun evening. I did so with tight circled chats, drink nursing and my roundabout take on Korean BBQ that worked to sate the uncomfortable silences. The intrigue was all about young lovers figuring things out, hopefully.

“I’m erring on the side of relationship on this one . .” I said, raising my drink into a clink as Jen gawked her response in mock exasperation as if to say “You?”.

“Because they’re a unit right now, and in spite of all the vicious rumors . . I respect the sanctity of that . . defend it even . .”

“Even if you choose not to abide to such constraints . . ” She smiled.

“In lieu of is the best I can do,”

And then Jen hit me with the accident report on her most recent love thing, which she had to pull the plug on when he started wanting more. She was more than willing to take on his handsome and his dashing and even most of the debonair, but the wife? That was a sticking point to which she couldn’t travail.

“I found the perfect marriage . . his.” She bemoaned.

And then he went and changed the rules on a gal too smart for her own heels. We relate to those extramarital involvements where the fine print works in sync with discretion and language matters, soundly. We could teach a class on how it’s not what a person says, but it is what they do on Instagram.

“I’ve never met a good cheater, but I’ve met plenty of damn fine liars,” I countered.

This segue led me to a recent piece of advice I gave to my pal Barry. He’s a retired cop who is clueless on matters of consequence, namely coupling. Evidenced by his two ex wives and current flame whose DNA fits their specs to a high tea. Because nothing says insanity like diving back in to the shallow part of the matrimonial pool for a third time.

“They had enough in common to try things on for size. But the things they don’t have in common are great big meatballs. So I told him that being single ain’t a crime,”

“Tell that to my parents,” Jen laughed.

“Long story short, he told her she could leave anytime she felt like leaving. And now he’s looking at real estate up in Jim Thorpe,”

“You homewrecker,”

“Not the first time . . ” I said.

We toasted to the incomprehensible fates, whose scatter is a wickedly fine arrangement of daggers and wings that make us grateful for the tender mercies . . .  Like peace of mind, and comfortable shoes.

Especially those.

49 thoughts on “Crazy Little Thing”

    • Yes to that, in more ways than the one.

      And the key to any upside is knowing what you can and will not do and then honing in on it and making it yours. It takes time and patience, and lots of hitting and missing to get there.

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  3. B,

    Aren’t the “Jen’s” in our lives wonderful to have? Peeps with whom we can shoot the shit, be ourselves and honest about the comings and goings of our love (or lust) and everyday lives. They are priceless, actually. Even for the lone wolves – because it’s still nice to know that what we say is safe.

    And, as we’ve discussed numerous times, we absolutely must be comfortable in our own skin. There is no other place to live, is there?

    We know what we want and when the situation we are in suddenly changes because the other changed the rules well… we needs must do what we must.

    Wonderful post and excellent tune, of course.

    Q

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    • Q,

      Every now and again, I need that relative space. To see that what I’m doing makes sense, to someone. I mean . . if it turns out differently Imma still do it my way because old Blue Eyes told me to. But yanno, yeah . . it’s nice when someone gets it.

      This takes on even more import when you consider the idea of happiness to be just that an idea. So then, it becomes a matter of peace of mind. To which being comfortable in your own skin is akin with keeping on.

      Haven’t been in that place since I changed it up on, yep, a married person. Because I realized that IF she decided to leave it all behind? I wasn’t a good bet. It wouldn’t have been fair to her in the long run.

      Gracias! Gracias and muchisimas of it!

      B

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      • I feel ya. And you know I understand.

        Happiness is what we make of it, or something along those lines. Being told what is supposed to make us happy serves absolutely no purpose. No one can know better than we.

        That whole they being married and then not wanting to be for you? Dangerous ground, I feel. Especially when you know that you don’t want to be replacing the newly flushed one! It wouldn’t have been fair to YOU either.

        Always de keeping it real.

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  4. I know you do. I’m blessed with the propers as far as good company goes. 🙂

    Happiness for some, and may I say good for them? And really mean it, because I do. But peace of mind for those of us who ain’t relating on that level. Which is okay too. Because we can do it from a different perspective is all.

    I talked about why I broke if off last night, for the first time. It was something quite meaningless, but to me, it spoke volumes. And it made me see that I just wasn’t ‘that guy’. Not for her, or for anyone for that matter. I think, even up to that moment, I had been expecting some kind of monumental sea change from the way I had always been. Funny how we do that, as if holding to some blueprint that never existed in the first place. And welp, if nothing else . . it WAS freeing. The moment when I realized I didn’t have to be ‘that’.

    Remember the hashtag, 😉

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    • Got the like, wondered where the comment was 😉 Found it!

      That you are, my friend, both within drinking in person with and over the miles 😉

      Absolutely. It would be insane to begrudge anyone the happiness they have with another when both parties are where they belong. And again, those who prefer their own style of living – nothing wrong with that either. Live and let live.

      If it spoke volumes, it was not meaningless. The important thing is you be who you are – not that guy and not willing to try to be convinced otherwise. You’ve already seen what happens when you go down the route despite the sign telling you to go the other way. There is power and freedom in knowing.

      We have a couple to choose from.

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      • WordPress strikes again!

        Salud to that! Ees a berry good thing.

        Which was a good song. Well, Live and Let Die. But the gist of it was Live and Let Live, but old Paul sold out for the lyrics on that ditty. And yes, never to begrudge what works for others. That’s never the point. Or shouldn’t be anyways.

        It was a meaningless thing that was done, but my reaction to it spoke volumes about who I can be to someone else. Yep. I end up in the middle of the street at some time after midnight, and that ain’t good for nobody.

        #alwaysbekeepingitreal
        #keepitreal
        #keepingitreal
        #alwaysbereal

        So many decisions!

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        • I think the problem lies between the chair and the keyboard 😉 And I am just teasing you! It’s neither here nor there.

          Salud!

          It was a great song… and we can play with the lyrics however we like. It gives nothing to anyone to begrudge anything.

          Now I’m feeling I need to chat live with you to get what the hell we are talking about here 😉 But ending up in the middle of the street some time after midnight is definitely not a good thing.

          See? I told you there were a couple to choose from! 😉

          #ImportantthingistohaveREALinthehashtag

          ::D

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  7. ‘We could teach a class on how it’s not what a person says, but it is what they do on Instagram.’
    This is profound. There’s nothing like ‘reading’ between the IG posts to reveal a person, or their true intentions.
    I hope Jen sees the value of being alone, not lonely, vs being a second overused wrung on a ladder, one day.

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    • Sadly, yes.

      Jen’s value is immense, and I think her excursion was more a matter of not wanting to jump in the relationship pool again. But as I could have told her, there ARE much easier ways to go about it than that!

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  10. I’ve never met a good cheater, but plenty of damn fine liars … DUDE. I have met them both and they suck equally. I. Can’t. Always best to be without someone like that, nothing wrong with being partner-less especially if you had one like that. Great advice and good conversation over a GREAT meal. You know, because Thai is AWESOME. Comfortable in your own skin is what Freddie was all about. He always rocked it 🙂

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    • In my experiences, cheaters always slip up. Always. Hence the sentiment . . for me.

      I do so agree about going solo rather than pairing up with the wrong person. It’s never worth it.

      Jen gave me SUCH shit a few years back when I jumped back in to an extra marital affair (The woman was married, not me). And she was right to have misgivings, as I would learn. But I didn’t give her an I Told You So, seeing as how she’s had her share of adversity over the last couple years. And besides, she doesn’t have my record when it comes to ill fated relationships, LOL.

      Freddie was peerless.

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