This is the year when you get in sync with friends and family. Like . . seriously. It’s going to matter to you this year, so brush up on names and new spouses by making a chart.
And not to sound like a greeting card, but can you try and keep some cheer in this new year? When the shit hits the fan, try and suppress your desire to shoot the fan . . . twelve times. The way you shot your ex twelve times when you found them in bed with someone else. Thank God your Uncle Sal has a soft spot for you and was able to rig the jury, but yanno . . he ain’t getting any younger so chill with the firearms?
Here’s a novel thought. Why not simply enjoy the company and wisdom of your posse, and while you’re at it, impart your wisdom on them as well. Or take them out to dinner once a month and don’t be a cheapskate with the friendly drinks. Either or.
Make vivaciousness your jam, just hold the histrionics. February might be a challenge when it comes to cash flow, but you can navigate the ebbs without skimming ATM’s for your cream and sugar. As for exercise, practice moderation and sensibility. No more staying out all night and then signing up for a marathon in the morning because “it was calling me,”. Just remember those EMT’s who were calling you away from the light when you didn’t make it out of mile three without collapsing, coo?
October will bring great challenges and worthwhile lessons . . so think jello shot contests and DUI checks and maybe practice some temperance for a change. November will bring increased responsibilities at work, unless that meme you posted about your boss on Facebook gets found.
This can be a magnificent year as long as you don’t fuck it up!
B,
You to tell me the Capricorns are gonna let go of their mirror and go out there and be with the peeps? If they stay outta trouble and aren’t too cheap…
Histrionics might be a tad harder to hold in check especially if they are “called” to do crazy and end up in trouble.
Love these tongue-in-cheek “attacks” on each sign… still have three to go before you attack mine 😉
Q
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Q,
I have been out of it because I never came back to look at my comments yesterday. My Gawdness I am in need of a refresh!
What’s hilarious about my horoscopes is that I really have blessed little knowledge of signs. I kinda just rework the horoscopes and let people tell me if there is ANY resemblance whatsoevs.
I love the word histrionics, so I had to get it in there somewhere, 😉
Uh oh! Batten down the hatches for a Category 5 reading in three months! Hide the men and children! Get to the cellar! Bring the bourbon!
B
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B,
I am the last person who is gonna push you 😉 Except to remind you it’s horoscope time! 😉 Give yourself a break, woudlja?
That’s what is hilarious. I know what you do and for those who do see resemblances well… BONUS!
It’s a great word, given that I could apply it to my youngest, who is more than capable…
Hah! You’re right to worry.
Not!
But if you’re supplying bourbon get rid of everyone else 😉
Q
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Nah I know. I just have to get over the January meh. I mean, we’re not even knee deep in the winter blahs yet!
I know right? There is always a person who comments on how “Oh that is JUST like . . .” and it just goes from there. LOL
It really is a great word.
I knew it!
No!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
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January meh can be a strong force. It’s why I’m having so much trouble getting my mojo into job-searching mode. And I know what you mean! Usually February is the worstest!
Too funny! But there are some that even I see are bang on 😉 Coz I know someone who is like that…
It is! Add it to our pile.
Hah!
Ummm…
Is that a good Ding?
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Yeah, and I GOTS to feel better soon. It’s been a month and a half mostly of ugh. And that ain’t helping matters in the least, tell you what.
You do huh?
Locked and loaded. Like nachos.
Hah!
Yum
The best
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I know EXACKERY how you feel, myself not being on the up and up for as long…
I do.
Mmmm – the fully-loaded ones.
These one-word answers are ridonkulous.
As long as that last one is the best, then I’m good!
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It’s the endless virus, ugh!
You do.
Elvis Approved.
How’s about two? Three? Four?
You know it is.
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It is. Dammit.
Elvis approved is the bomb!
We might be going overboard.
It is!
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It must be conquered, for once and for all!
Elvis Nachos . . . I’ve gotta do some thinking on this.
Maybe? Mebe? A tad?
I know it is.
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I’m working on it!
Oh… just please, no peanut butter, k?
No maybes about it…
😘
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Me too.
No PB and banana sandwiches, Scout’s honor.
Or mebes . . .
😘
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😉
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Capricorns have their share of issues … But you have given them how … Especially if they can keep hysteria in check and have an Uncle Sal. Meanwhile … Oh sit … I’m next.
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Uncle Sal helps . . . tons.
I’ll . . umm . . take it easy on your sign.
Sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face as I typed that. I think I was momentarily possessed by sarcasm!
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If that was sarcasm, I didn’t catch it because I would know it if I encountered it. We need Q to clarify. But, your comment was slightly sarcastic, did you unknowingly get injected by an alien?
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I think you’re right. Frank. We need Q’s expert analysis on the topic. I think she’s probably going to find trace levels of sarcasm in my comment. Not enough to book me though . . .
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I wonder if she’ll connect her itching ears to this comment string.
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There’s always the chance . . .
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Another killer horror-scope, er horoscope. Gold star 🌟
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Thank you Monika! 😉
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I save my histrionics for my PT sessions, and while I’m a good shot, no one has been so special I’d be jealous or angry enough to shoot ‘em.😆
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To be twelve shot worthy . . that’s something. LOL
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Not a Capricorn in sight!
The Rats are moving in soon, and Lenny is wonderfully annoying.
So happy I have never had a FB acct. & never will.
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Haha Resa! You play along so well! 😉
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Yay!!!
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🙂
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I wanna be a Capricorn for no other reason than to shoot the fan 12 times. I let the ex’s off the hook with a warning cause I’m a Gemini. That too would all be different if I were a Capricorn. Good one Marc
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It’s such an Elvis thing to do. Hey . . I wonder if he was a Capricorn.
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He was a Capricorn. I just looked it up. See maybe it would be a good thing to be a capricorn. Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya very much.
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We won this round of Elvis, Sheriff!
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Yes we did. Let’s go find a coke machine to shoot up.
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Can we make it a Pepsi machine?
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Sure. Or even a fridge.
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Let’s go to Sears and find us a fridge. Nobody shops there anymore so we can shoot up a couple of em, no worries.
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There you go. I’m going to take my AK47. If we are going illegal I’m going all in. We can blame Obama if anything goes wrong.
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Good thing I’ll held onto my “Blame Obama” card . . .
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I’m kinda glad I’m not a Capricorn. One of my greatest joys is flying off the handle. And as for dinner once a month?! I don’t like my family THAT much! 😉
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I don’t fly off the handle the way I used to. I blame it on meditation and bourbon.
And you’re right about that family dinner business. No gracias!
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Haha…well that explains why the family keeps buying me red wine.
I mean we love them, but there is a limited time.
Have a great week!
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Hahaha!
When it comes to family, moderation wins.
You too Ella.
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