sorryless

First Draft Horoscopes: Aquarius!

Sorryless60 Comments

Image result for aquarius sign

The good news is, your planets are in perfect alignment. The bad news is they are completely uninhabitable. Nonetheless, you will have a great deal of mental and physical energy to expend so let’s try and channel it into something positive, okay? How about focusing on artistic projects that do not include signing your name in the snow or rodent taxidermy . . .

Your intuition is at maximum levels today, but this doesn’t mean that you’re a mind reader so cut the paranoid shit. All it means is that you are in tune with the people closest to you. It does not mean they should be subjected to interrogations or lie detector tests because if you pull that shit again, you’ll lose the other side of the family as well.

Try to relax and unwind a little, seeing as how you may be feeling more anxious than usual . . as if that’s fucking possible. Maybe you should try working out, since it was a New Year’s resolution and I realize you’re easing into it but come on . . it’s almost February. If you’re going to let your workout resolution roll over into 2021, then maybe attend a concert or sporting event instead. Sans the recording equipment this time unless you really don’t mind the idea of spending twenty three hours a day in a cell with someone named T-Bone.

60 thoughts on “First Draft Horoscopes: Aquarius!”

    • I’ve had those days! Glad this little slice of nonsense could help to make the morning go down just a little bit easier.

      I appreciate the chime, Mark. And Cheers back atcha.

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  3. I’ve been on edge for almost a year anticipating this post. Woo hoo … I feel freedom. Free as the birds in the sky. My exercise routine has been study, but a guy named T-Bone plays at a local bar every Tuesday. Oh no – I can’t go today! The vibes are turning and the aligned planets are inhabitable. I won’t be able to unwind and relax. I’m domed. … but the Fifth Dimension was the first concert I ever attended! Let the Sunshine In!

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  7. I was very interested in that cellmate called T-Bone. He sounds like someone who should meet Tiny. I had to laugh out loud at this one Marc. The signing of your name in the snow got me going. That old joke about Nixon having the ‘Nixon Sucks’ urine writing in the snow analyzed. Turns out it was Kissinger’s. The bad news was the handwriting was Pat’s. Bada Boom. Excellent post.

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  9. B,

    You know I love these (woot 2 more to go!) You know, if things ever get tough, you might have a potential sideline in these 😉 Course, those who really do buy this shit may end up in the loony bin. Speaking of loony bin, it could actually end you up with a T-Bone roommate there as well… Win mmeet win!

    Hey! Who says signing your name in the snow is NOT creative, eh?

    Lucky for you this perfect song is out there 😉

    Q

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    • Q,

      I wonder if they would get it though, 😉

      Umm, I think the win would be for T-Bone . . but it would be a really baaaad loss for whoever had to bunk with T-Bone.

      It is creative, and hey . . cursive is bonus points, so there’s that!

      There was only one choice, bahahahaha!

      B

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      • Maybe you can offer up your brand to a joint like The Onion… Yanno… THEY and their readers would get it. Or the Canadian one (yanno, the Brady story 😉)

        It probably would be his win!

        Exactly… Give extra swirls and call it calligraphy!

        I figured.. gonna be interesting what you come up with for the next two…😇

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        • That’s an idea. I would simply need to be anonymous, LOL.

          It’s definitely going to be his win.

          Calligraphy . . . bahahahaha! That is classic.

          Imma have to be consistent with em. Consistently awful.

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      • You will get to it in your time – and I don’t recall exercising on that New Years resolution list of yours – I thought it was just a lifestyle for you to get moving and find your groove for different seasons – because routines sure do change – eh?
        And speaking of your resolutions – too one for me is that “sweat smarter” one – sooooo good

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        • Ms Prior,

          It’s a given, the exercise. It’s funny but when you are involved in sports from a young age, it’s almost built in to you. I took a few weeks off for January, only running a handful (four?) times thus far, but I find it helps to cool the jets now and again as far as running. But when I start up again, it’s like I never left.

          Funny you should mention that one because it’s stuck in my head now. I notice I’m NOT swearing as much!

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