Joe Pesci Does Haiku

So I got a ticket yesterday afta noon because I was double parked while picking up my dry cleaning. And okay, I grabbed some bagels and a couple lottery tickets  . .  the newspapers, and alright, I stopped in da liquor store and picked up some Chivas because I never wanna be outta the stuff.

I come outside to find this wackadoo giving me a fucking parking ticket! Can you imagine the noive of dis guy? So I tell him “Yo, what’s the deal? I only been gone like tree minutes? Do ya really gotta bust my chops for being away from my car for tree fucking minutes?!” He keeps writing out the ticket and that really pissed me off. So I told him he wasn’t a meter maid, he was a glorified arcade attendant and I mighta said something about his mudda.

He turns to me and with a straight face . . he says to me “Sir, I am a parking enforcement officer” and then he hands me the fucking ticket! So I says to him, “Yeah, and I’m Jimmy Hoffa”.

Da boss asked me to write a haiku about my experience, so I’ll humor the prick.

A cop wannabe

Putzing around all day long

He can go blow me

51 thoughts on “Joe Pesci Does Haiku

  1. Yanno Joe,

    It’s a funny thing… da boss who shares your stuff always says he can’t do haiku. Maybe ya gonna learn him how! Coz you did ayt, lemme tell you.

    As for the fucking prick – that ain’t cool no how. Da fuck? Only tree minutes! These guys sure think they are someone else, eh? Do they even carry guns? Tthey ain’t nuthin but glorified meter maids ain’t they?

    Sorry ’bout that ticket. I feel for ya.

    Chick from Montreal.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Damn …. I needed a good laugh this morning! I never imagined Joe doing a haiku, but never imagine the unimaginable. You’ve proven that Joe Pesci writing a haiku is more probable that a Bengal playoff win.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Joe, love your stuff. Why you wastin time with this guy Sorry Mess or whatevah the fuck his name is? Stop being such a fuckin wuss and start your own god damn web log, know what I:m sayin!?

    Are you hearing the wordz coming outa my mouth? What a putz, this guy! I love him like a brother but sometimes…

    Anyway, I’m getting a call here. Seems like there’s a haiku emergency I gotta get ovah there right away.

    Take it easy, JP. Don’t get too worked up, you’re gonna plotz. So watch that blood pressah, ok? Kisses to the missus, and watch your back, don’t get whacked or have a heart attack, alright?

    A Dude

    Liked by 1 person

    • A Dude,

      I would do what yah saying if not fah the fact that I can’t see so good no more on account of cataracts. And besides, I can woik undah the table with this asshole . . .

      Whoa whoa whoa! Stop busting my balls already!!

      A haiku emergency? They have those in Texas? What kinda fucking shit is that . .

      I’ll take ya advice and pour myself a Chivas, and I’ll skip the Cuban . . . cigah.

      Love and bullets,



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