The World’s Largest Poker Game

Please Follow the Beatles' Example for Social Distancing During ...

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel sorry for the close talkers.

And the high fivers, them too. They were fringe players before COVID-19, so you can hand them their walking papers now. Just make sure you’re wearing gloves. Oh wait . . . maybe not.

I’m not taking this pandemic personally. I really don’t think it’s a matter of God smiting us or Ozzy Osbourne haunting us. I kinda see it more as a byproduct of eight billion tenants in a residence not built for such high volume usage. Bad shit starts happening when resources and personal choices camp together. The shit is combustible.

As a true introvert and not a poser who chooses to label themselves as such in order to make friends (a self defeating purpose for the true introvert), I’m okay with the rules. I am miffed at the peeps who rail on about their freedoms being usurped. And I am pissed at the clueless vagabonds who still go to Target to piss around on their phone for an hour and pick up Red Bull. And I would love to send the knuckleheads who want to party like it’s 2019 to a remote island, along with all those genius investors who think the one with the most toilet paper wins. We can send along the 2nd amendment impulse buyers so’s they can play referee.

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As for the COVID-19 Dictionary, it’s chugging right along, and here are a few of my . . . umm . . favorites?

Self Isolation– Shut the front fucking door with this term, please. It’s redundant, and incorrect. If you live alone, then of course your self is isolating. And if you don’t, then you’re simply isolating from others.

Social Distancing– The term is downright Orwellian in its bold font gravitas. Because this is something that guy would’ve gotten drunk on. It’s a term I use, even though I find it incredibly creepy.

Flattening the Curve- It’s like laying down spike strips on a speeding virus in order to lessen the impact on hospitals and infrastructure. It sounds like a show you’d find on Bravo.

Shelter in place- Another redundant term, unless your ‘place’ happens to be a boat. In which case, congratulations. When you shelter in place, it means you’re keeping your ass at home excepting for essential trips such as liquor/grocery/liquor store shopping. If you abide by the two parts liquor store to one part grocery store, you’ll make it through just fine. Ask Ina, she knows.

Viral Shedding- Nope.

Essential Government Functions- That’s a meme . . . right?

Drive Through Testing- You don’t get fries with it.

As for predicting COVID-19, contrary to popular belief, the Simpsons did not call it. And neither did Dean Koontz. In the case of the latter, he got Wuhan and he got 2020 but everything else? Not so much. And sorry movie fans, but the Steven Soderbergh flick Contagion was based on the H1N1 “swine flu” of 2009.

You want a prediction? I’ll give you a few . . .

  • Sports may not come back at all this year. Okay, this is more of a hedge/guess than a prediction. But that’s only because too many peeps still take sports too seriously. We should be concerned for all the working Joes and Janes whose jobs have been lost instead of whining about not having sports.
  • Joe Biden’s Vice Presidential choice? Barack Obama.
  • This adaptation of our everyday lives will have ripple effects. Many consumers will stop buying in to big league sports because it (finally) occurs to them that this stuff isn’t essential . . . and they’re getting fleeced. Masks will become a fashion staple for some. Streaming PPV concerts will become more popular. The Anti-Vaxers Movement has met its end. The Survivalists Guide to stockpiling is just getting started.
  • Health care will become more streamlined thanks to budget cuts. This will not be a good thing.

The system has been upended and the idea that our behaviors will not be influenced as a result is not just foolish, it’s dangerous. Our politics is already building cabins on the mountainous terrain of this time. Corporations will pimp their brands in caridad, but profits will become more important than ever. Which means sharper corners to cut in the form of more low wage jobs, an increased reliance on AI and the environment? Fuck that place!

It stands to reason the most important work force will involve humanistic enterprises. So if you’re one of those peeps who insists on being a brand? Stop. Go back to being a human being while there’s still time. Because if we keep whittling humanity down like this, pretty soon it’s going to turn into a spear.

I’m of the opinion that this time in our world’s history has been a warning. We either heed this clarion call or we suffer the consequences when the next strain of ungodly comes calling and decides it’s time to wipe the slate clean. And of course there are going to be plenty of peeps who snicker at such a thought, insisting it could never happen to us.

Uh . . . weren’t we just saying that a few months ago?

 

 

92 thoughts on “The World’s Largest Poker Game

  1. B,

    The close talkers are no longer (not that they were ever really) welcome.
    High-fivers are passé. And yeah… how many peeps are feeling overconfident because they wear gloves? Nurse Molly Lixie tells it like it is.

    No one can take this pandemic personally. Hell… who would you have to be, to be in such a position? Ain’t none of us that high up. Shit happens. Shit has happened over the millennia and shit is gonna keep on happening. This shoe is officially too small.

    Tell you what, Mr. Introvert. As an Extrovert, I am just as pissed as you are. Course I am supposedly the type who will rail on about my freedoms and needs to be with people. Turns out, not so much. Ohmygosh! Have I been mislabelling myself all these years? No. I have understood what is being asked of us. I have understood that the virus cannot jump from person to person if there are no persons to jump to. So I respect and do what I’m told. Unlike a stupid group of Hasid Jews in Montreal who think they are exempt and that God will protect them. Held a wedding for 200 guests. The owner of the hall is now on a respirator… and, so far, over 50 are very ill. Excellent. Not only do you disregard the rules placed for EVERYONE, but now the medical services are being wasted on you. Sorry. I sound harsh but fuck. Oooh. I like your last line – send the 2nd amendment freaks over on the island. Yes.

    The Dictionary. I want all of these terms banned once the world is right.

    Ina has it down! And hey, when you do go on a liquor run? Try to estimate just how much you need for the long haul, thereby reducing your trips out to just the occasional milk/egg/bread run…

    Predictions:
    – I’d be cool if pro sports became a thing of the past. Or that it becomes something totally different. Joes and Janes should be priority number uno.
    – Why the hell not? Can a former President even be a Vice-President?
    – If only the Anti-Vaxxer movement is forever stilled, that will be a good thing and health care becoming streamlined? that is definitely not a good thing.

    The system is not working now. Behaviours have to change. “Primp their brands in caridad” – where the hell do you come up with these fabulous expressions that send me to Google?
    Fuck that place indeed.

    Yes. humanistic enterprises is the way to go. We know not everyone will buy into that… but I like to think at least a percentage will. I know I’d like to do something.

    I agree with your opinion. We have been warned a few times; each time it gets bigger. There is gonna come a time where no amount of praying is gonna help.

    Right. And, of course, excellent choice of song!!

    Q

    Liked by 2 people

    • Q (part 2),

      I used to be a big high fiver with my posse. Back when we called em a posse. And then the fist bump came along and changed everything!

      Nurse Molly Lixie needs her own show.

      Methinks WE know this. But me also thinks a lot of individuals out there thought the world is gonna keep revolving around them.

      That’s the thing right there. When these people decide they’re going to church or to party on the beach or to attend a wedding because THEY CAN . . . well it does NOT MEAN THEY SHOULD. And their actions endanger so many others. Would they be willing to sign a waiver stating that in the event they contracted the virus they will forego medical assistance? No? Then stay the fuck home. No sweets, you ain’t being harsh. Not at all.

      Me too. Definitely.

      I always liked Ina. She loves her drink and her food and she doesn’t cheat on either.

      I was just kidding about liquor runs. Believe it or not, I haven’t gone on a single liquor run yet! In fact, my bottle was delivered to me by a co-worker who was kind enough to go before they shut things down.

      Pro sports will go on. The importance we give to it will change because let’s face it, people are paying their hard earned money to something that takes-takes-takes and gives them and their families little in return.

      Yes, Obama can be VP. And the democrats need something, because otherwise they’re gonna mess this up.

      The Anti-Vaxers are officially getting Negan-ed.

      Companies are in it for our moolah, so choose and spend wisely, yanno? None of em are Mother Theresa.

      The environmental impact of this is one of the FEW things that has seen a positive change. If we allow it to go back to the way it was before without trying out some new ways of doing business, shame on all of us.

      The humanistic enterprises will save lives, improve quality of lives and make for a better tomorrow. We hop on board or perish.

      It’s only a matter of time, and with the population continuing to grow and resources being stretched even before this pandemic, well, it’s bleak.

      It cracks me up. And I need that right now.

      B

      Liked by 1 person

      • Fist bump is the way to go – course, peeps think the elbow clink is cool but we know it ain’t. I say, when this is all said and done, we keep the fist bump. Minimal risk without being prissy.

        She does! Course, she’s Canadian so had just the right amount of sass, don’t you think?

        We do. And they are still walking amongst us.

        There should definitely be a waiver and some kind of restraint to keep them from walking around general pop.

        Good. Let’s put a bid out there.

        She does. She’s real and she doesn’t pretend to be someone else.

        Of course you are kidding. Until you run out. Then maybe once again a kind co-worker will go for you again 😉

        I know they will. Way too much money in it. But if people decide to forego going in favour of watching from home, then, it will be interesting to see.

        Oh, cool. I did not know that. And yes! They need to act. NOW.

        Let out the Negan!

        Nope. None of ’em are.

        Yes. It’s been amazing to see the environmental impact. We have to do something after all this.

        I say we hop on board.

        True. Very bleak.

        We all do, babe, we all do.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I do the elbow thing for sardonic purpose. But yeah, I think the fist bump is here to stay, even though I have to be nuanced with it since I have arthritis flareups.

          She really does follow the Canadian recipe for sass. It goes like this . . . Gimme some cinnamon, gimme some sass, make sure not to smirk or I’ll kick your ass.

          Ugh.

          All that can be done is in the way of fining them for being out for no good reason. Nothing solves stupid, though.

          Her food and drink . . always decadent.

          I can get by pretty good without the stuff. Unless we’re talking summer.

          I stopped going to games, almost altogether. Many years ago. I was sick of games that were scheduled for 1 pm on a Sunday being “flexed” to 8 pm in order to grab more TV money. Big league sports doesn’t give the fan a refund for stunts like this.

          I don’t know what’s going on right now, but I fear the ramifications of this as far as primaries/conventions/polling and November.

          The Anti-Vax movement doesn’t seem so hot to peddle YouTube videos right now. Hmmm.

          Nike doesn’t make you an athlete, Subaru doesn’t provide you with Zen and Apple doesn’t make you an astronaut. Sorry people.

          We need to.

          Ugh again.

          MUAH!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Do you use ‘sardonic’ as others would use ‘sarcastic’? Just curious…

            Haha! Canadians can be rather sassy, I must agree. How did you get to know this?

            No, nothing solves stupid and fining is not enough – but it’s a start.

            True. The woman does not scrimp on calories!

            I’m sure you can but why in the hell would you want to? 😉

            I used to like going to one game per year, baseball, football, hockey. Once, good enough for me.

            There have to be some. Unless, as you mentioned, they push it back. We shall have to wait and see.

            Funny how that works.

            No? You mean I won’t really get wings if I drink Red Bull? Aww hell…

            We must.

            MWAH!!

            Liked by 1 person

          • No comment. 😉

            Hmmmm. I wonder how it is that I came to know this so well. I just wonder.

            I would fine them for being out and about with no purpose. Then I would fine their mama. Then I would fine their daddy. Then I would fine Darwin for being so damned spot on about natural selection.

            And if I’m watching a cooking show, I ain’t watching it because I love salads.

            Good question.

            I go to a Yankees game every year now. One. If I need a fix, we have an independent league team in town. Free parking. Reasonable concessions. Great sight lines no matter where you sit. You don’t deal with huge lines, drunken louts or games that go well past midnight. What a novel concept! And for those who would argue” Well, you’re not getting the same quality”, I say “You’re right. I’m getting a game. And the game IS the thing,”.

            Everything is wait and see right now.

            Funny haha? Or funny how how?

            I’m sorry. But hey, you’ll probably score yourself a case of hypertension if you drink copious amounts of the stuff for a prolonged period of time. At no extra charge!

            MUST.

            and

            MUAH!!

            Liked by 1 person

          • On account that it might be held against you…

            You wonder…

            Now that is a lot of fines – money that could be put to good use on helping those who, despite all precautions, have been infected by these maroons.

            No? And yet some salads are so not healthy… just sayin’

            Moot point.

            That was the discussion I had with someone on sports. We don’t need the crazy-priced humongous-drunken-lout-filled stadiums to get a good game. Maybe independent leagues are the way to go and fuggetabout the others.

            IT is.

            Funny how how.

            Good thing I don’t touch the stuff and don’t buy into any advertising.

            Yes.

            MMWWAAHH!!

            Liked by 1 person

          • I sure hope so . . .

            And yes, I wonder.

            It all goes back in the fund to help those who really need the help.

            You’re talking about my salads. I know you are. And you’re right, they are so not healthy.

            Moot. A very underrated word.

            Listen, I’m not damning big league sports all to hell. But if the market is garnering a starting pitcher 300 million and there is talk of a 500 million dollar position player . . . then the market is horribly skewed. Maybe it will take the wives of these knucklehead season ticket holders to say “Nope, we can’t afford that nonsense in the event of some other cataclysmic event happening . . .”

            Yes.

            I thought it was how how. I just had to verify.

            Good girl.

            Uh huh.

            MUUAAHH!!!!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Haha!! We can make arrangements…

            We’ll have to look into this further.

            I like that idea. It should go into effect. Now.

            Hey, I have some too, yanno…

            ’tis!

            I’m listening. And I agree. The market is ridiculously skewed. Gonna take strong wives.

            Always good to verify over assume.

            I can be.

            MUWAZZAH! (yeah, I done stole it)

            Liked by 1 person

          • You got a deal

            Methinks this means you want me to put my research cap on . . .

            Immediamente! We need to bring some common sense back the senselessness.

            I do realize this, jes.

            Good book.

            Let’s face it, these players can still make really great money. But nobody is worth what some of them are making now. Sorry but that is what needs a “market correction”.

            Trust but verify.

            I know

            I couldn’t have said MUAH! better myself!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Excellent.

            You think correctly…

            Si! There is a huge lack of common sense right now. All over!

            Of course you do.

            That so? Should I look into it?

            They can. But no way do they “need” 7-8 zeros after their number… “market overhaul” more like.

            Wise.

            You do.

            SMOOCHES.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Booyah!

            Thank ya, thank ya very much

            Thankfully, there are a ton of people doing a ton of good. And most people are doing the right thing by staying home, only going out for essentials and keeping safe.

            I do.

            Let’s.

            It needs fixing, but that only happens if fans speak up. Allow big league sports to keep doing what it’s doing and it’s your own damned fault peeps.

            Acre.

            I do.

            I dig smooches very much

            Liked by 1 person

          • 😀

            You are a smart cookie.

            Yes. Thankfully.

            Yes, let’s!

            It will be interesting to see if that does. We shall stay tuned.

            I was thinking more of “ass”

            You and me both…

            Liked by 1 person

  2. You said it all Pilgrim. I hope people soon discover that we are about as relevant as the next deadly bug. We keep abusing this place and the next bug is going to kick our ass. I say to the idiots who don’t take this thing seriously. “So you want your freedom, you can’t handle your freedom.” Well done my man,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved the video! I have never seen it. I worry about the human species. No surprise there. We’ve had 120 years to prepare for this pandemic. That’s how long since we had the last global one. Did we learn nothing the first time round? Did we learn nothing from the other epidemics we’ve over the last hundred years? Will we learn anything from this one?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nothing like serious stuff with a sense of humor … and WITHOUT any sarcasm. Love Ina’s drink. For those who don’t have a big glass, good long straw from the bender works fine.

    A couple interesting observations I’ve seen. On the plus side, more people walking the hood .. and friendlier. On the other side, go into my small suburban town, I want to bang my head against the wall.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cincy,

      I think a lot of the humor is borne of angst. Over the reaction by many to this pandemic.

      No sarcasm. I’m still learning the stuff, it’s not easy to digest.

      To paraphrase Crocodile Dundee regarding Ina’s concoction: That’s not a drink . . THAT’S a drink!

      There is the good and not so good involved in daily transactions. I don’t expect that will change anytime soon.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I forgot this one that is like place a cupful of burrs in the shorts.

        When I saw an article about CNN’s Chris Cuomo testing positive, I was curious – so I read about 25-30 comments. A few days later when CNN’s Brooke Baldwin announced he testing positive, I read about 25-30 comments. So … in two articles on different days over 50-60 comments, how many did I read that said something positive like – sorry to hear that – wish them well …. ready for this …. tick tock tick tock …. but a commercial first

        Zero! 50-60 comments … zero best wishes or sympathy.

        Liked by 1 person

        • We are experiencing the slow burn of a global pandemic and people’s reactions to it.

          When 9/11 happened, I wondered if that horrible event would be turned into a political football. It was.

          In this case, it’s a slow roll of people’s very best and very worst reactions. The former keeps us solvent while the latter reminds us that NO event is ever going to bring the world together. If aliens came down and began threatening our way of life, we would love to think THAT would be the time when ALL people from all corners of the world would rise up as one. But nope . .

          NASA would be blamed for its lax security at our atmospheric borders as it pertained to these ‘illegal aliens’.

          The countries with the most alien ships would be derided as safe harbors for terrorists.

          People with guns would insist that . . you guessed it, more guns are the answer.

          And a Fox News poll would report that “Most Americans believe Hollywood created a false sense of security” with all their alien movies.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Invisible Enemy

    This Has Never Happened Before

    Nobody Could Have Ever Expected This

    Our Country Isn’t Designed for This

    That’s a nasty question

    You’re a terrible reporter

    I could go on.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I started having this conversation with some friends yesterday … don’t worry, it was via Zoom and not in person. Somebody mentioned Mother Nature and I chimed in that I’ve started wondering about this myself a few days ago. I don’t buy into these kinds of things, but is it possible that this is Mother Earth’s way of thinning the heard, of trying to come up with some way to restore balance on the ol’ planet. I don’t know. It requires a level of consciousness that I don’t think exists in nature, but … still.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. In a pinch I may just have to follow Ina’s recipe. You do a great job of telling it like it is (or ought to be). It’s a shame, but I don’t think even this pandemic will foster any sense of humility in the human species.

    Loved the trip down Memory Lane with the Georgia Satellites!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love Ina, and not just because she knows how to make an amazing drink. But she DOES know how to make an amazing drink.

      It won’t Eilene. People will forget, and that’s a sad statement when you consider all of those who have suffered and all who have lost their lives.

      I got such a kick out of that song!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love this! I love the humor, honesty, controlled anger, and in your face finger pointing at the jackasses who really should be placed on an island were severe hurricanes happen on a regular basis. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was one of those people who really didn’t take the early reports of the coronavirus seriously. But when push came to shoving me, I understood I was wrong and I knew that if I was being asked to change my daily habits? It must be serious enough that I better damn well listen.

      The sad part is that most people are abiding to the rules. Its the jerks and ignoramuses who create an even worse situation by sticking to their witless guns.

      Thanks George

      Liked by 1 person

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