Frank has issued me a challenge to which I just had to accept, because it means he’ll make way for this joint as a result. His mission, if I chose to accept it, was to make a short story out of the image below. And so I did just that. It should be noted I didn’t give myself a word count, because I know full well once I get writing, I can’t shut myself up . . .
Andy led Monica into the men’s room of The Bulldog Cafe and stood in front of the stall, beaming like a Cheshire cat standing over a drained Koi pond.
“We’re in the men’s room . . because?”
“The sign? They posted this sign because of us!” Andy said excitedly.
“Because of us, I’m not following . .”
“The stall babe, this is OUR stall! It’s where we, yanno . . .”
“Is this why you dragged me in here? To remind me about my less than brilliant life choices? I can call my mother for that, thank you,”
Andy continued, apparently clueless to the slight as he remembered back to their raucous New Year’s celebration a year earlier, as if this men’s room was the top of the Eiffel Tower.
“We had sex in this stall . . and now we’re immortalized!”
“Because of this sign?” Monica asked disbelievingly.
“Hell yes because of this sign! Remember how pissed the owner was when he had to come in here because people were complaining about the couple in the stall?” Andy laughed.
“No, I don’t remember. Which is the point Andy . . because that’s how sex in a bathroom stall works. The participants are in no condition to remember anything!”
“Well, I remember . .” Andy said, clearly hurt by Monica’s brazen attitude.
“And I love you for it, really I do. But something tells me that . . Tiger? Something tells me Tiger didn’t post this sign because we were the first couple to have sex in that stall,”
Andy was undeterred as he studied the stall door now.
“You know what? We did break the door that night, I knew it! Look, they replaced it with plywood! If my memory serves me right, the original door was made of pine, wasn’t it?”
“No babe, it was cherry wood . . with dovetailed edges. Because Tiger and his business partner, whose name I can only assume must be Booger, those boys always go top of the line,”
“Okay, you obviously do not share my appreciation for our connubial flammability. But that door was most definitely pine,” Andy said as the door to the men’s room swung open and a burly man in a football jersey ambled in.
“Excuse me,” He grunted as he moved around the couple and settled over the urinal.
“Honey, can we discuss this somewhere else? I’m sure this gentleman would like some privacy,” Monica said through gritted teeth.
“Nah, I’m good. Yanno, when I gotta drain the lizard, ain’t nothing or no one who’s gonna stop it,” The man chuckled.
“Okay, I’m outta here,” Monica said, throwing her arms up in disgust.
“Wait . . wait a minute. Sir, perhaps you could settle an argument me and my wife are having about this stall door. I told her that, clearly it’s been replaced and . . ”
“Yes dear, and my new boss? Bears a striking resemblance to Keanu Reeves . . so maybe you want to quit trying my patience and let this nice man go about his . . . business?” Monica said as she took hold of his arm. But Andy wasn’t budging.
“Yeah, they replaced it last year.” The man chimed in. “Tiger said it was coming off its hinges . . . says some couple was having sex and busted the damn thing,”
“BOOM!” Andy bellowed. “That was US!”
“No shit,” The man laughed as the door to the men’s room swung open again and a boy entered.
“Oh good! More company,” Monica deadpanned.
“Daddy? What’s a girl doing in here?” The boy gawked as he moved to the sink to wash his hands.
“Look at that. Ten years old and he gets it. What’s your excuse?” Monica said as her eyes burned into Andy.
The burly man moved to the sink with his son and began washing his hands now. “Son, remember how I was telling you about the birds and the bees?”
“Is he gonna bang her?” The boy asked.
“Yeah son, I think he’s gonna bang her so we should get outta here,” He chuckled.
“I don’t know what you see in him, lady. But I’ll guard the door . .” The boy winked on his way out.
“That . . . is wrong on so many levels,” Monica said.
“I think it’s kinda sweet,” Andy smiled.
“We’re never having kids. I just decided that,” Monica said.
“I can’t wait to have kids with you. I imagine they’ll crawl into bed with us in the early morning. I’ll go downstairs to make us some coffee, and when I come back up to the room there you are, fixing those great big, beautiful eyes on me. And your hair’s all mussed up and you’ve got no makeup on and none of it matters because I am looking at the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on . . .”
“You know what?” Monica said, her anger subsiding no matter how hard she tried to get it back. “You suck. And I love you. So much” Monica said as tears began to pool on the corners of her eyes.
“So whaddya say? Wanna go another round while we’re here, since we have our own personal security detail?” Andy said.
“Not a chance, Romeo.” Monica said as she led him out of the bathroom. “Plywood can’t handle what I’ve got in store for you, pal”
Dear Marco,
What a precocious ten-year-old. Crazy scenario and I loved the snappy dialogue. Hm. Nice title…(I wrote a short story with the same one 😉 ) In any case, I’m staying out of that public restroom. I just had a scathingly brilliant idea. Monica and Andy could exchange their wedding vows in that restroom. Tee hee. Reception in the kitchen after everyone washes their hands for twenty second. Boffo last line.
Shalom and happy Sunday,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
Did you? My original title was, It Had To Be You, but it seemed too predictable.
You’re full of scathingly brilliant ideas. And yeah! I like that! And thank you for abiding by the COVID rules with that whole twenty second rule. 😉
Shalom and happy Sunday to you as well.
Marco
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Somebody had to be first and since I’m sitting here glued to my computer, it had to be me. 😉 Actually you read the short story. Dale sent it to you. Blind girl falls in love with childhood artist friend in the 1920’s. Thank you re my ideas. 😀
Shalom again, shalom,
Rochelle
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It had to be you . . . It had to be you. The writer divine . . .so skilled with a line . .she pens it so true!
Por vous. 🙂
Hey, you know what they say about imitation, dontcha?
Shalom to yours, be safe
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Oh B!
Imma make sure Frank issues you more challenges, yanno that? Because this was so much fun to read. I laughed and I even got a tear in my eye…Ya, ya, I know, I’m a sucker for a sweet romance story. Even if it started in the bathroom stall of a joint on New Year’s…
I just loved this. And perfect choice of song, as per.
Q
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Oh Q!
Who’s the sweet talker? 😉
I’ve the feeling Frank has more where that came from. He’s a rather crafty fella, that Frank.
So yanno, the idea was consistent throughout. To take the dingy, mangy, musty forgettable nature of a men’s room stall and turn it into something way different than that.
The first song was “It Had To Be You” but. . . the late Will Withers, I never used a song in remembrance. And he fit here, perfectly so.
B
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I sweet talk when it’s time to. 😉
I am quite certain he does! Funny he picked you for this one… It’s like he knew you would turn it into something good.
Yes, it was. I love that you flipped the ugly into beauty.
Nah… Bill all the way with this one. You just know.
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You gotta know when to sweet talk, you’re right. Time and place matters.
That Frank, he’s a true rascal. In the best sense of the word. I think maybe he’s hit on something. The Frank Angle Challenge.
Why not? We’re living it, aren’t we?
Bill just had that voice. When I hear it, I’m back in the seventies. Every time.
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That you do. It is rather important, I should think,
He really is! He should start up a blog or something – challenging his peeps…
Boy are we ever.
He did. Think Imma turn the music to him this morning…
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Timing really is everything.
Let him know we need him back in the WP game. It’s not the same without him.
Mmm Hmm
G’head girl.
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It is.
It isn’t. He should rethink this silly retirement business…
I am calling this an opportunity to focus on the good that this has shone the light on.
Done.
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Well, let’s just say he has plenty left in his arsenal. And as such, he owes it to himself to get back on the playing field.
Always be focusing on the good. It’s what keeps us upright, not to mention sane.
Beauty
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That he does and he does!
Always. It’s how I roll.
Ain’t no sunshine…. (like here, suddenly!)
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Frank is gonna surprise us all some day, I am sure of it.
You’re perty cool, you know that?
Great song, and too bad. But hey . . it means you get to stay inside! Oh that’s right. Never mind . . .
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No doubt.
As long as you think so, I’m good with that.
It is a great song. And I just might chance it after all as the rain is still not here… Hah!
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It’s interesting, but Withers is one of those artists whose works are all over the place and yet he’s never quite seen in the same light as other contemporaries like Green and Gaye and Wonder.
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This is true. If one were to ask me to name singers of that era, I cannot say I would think of him. Even though I know who he is.
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Funny how that works
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I know. Meanwhile, I have just enjoyed an hour of Bill…
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Q and Bill. Hmmm
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Yep… Match made in heaven… “Ain’t no sunshine when he’s gone….”
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😘
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😘
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Bravo! I knew if anyone could do this, you would. You da man!
For others, here’s the odd part of the image. The sign was ONLY in the ladies room … not the men’s.
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Ladies room? That would explain all the graffiti on the wall. 😉
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Lol … Well … This place has graffiti throughout the place … Men’s room too
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No Frank. YOU da man.
Hahaha! That would’ve blown my whole story, so I didn’t ask where it was. I went with the men’s room. 😉
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Although I probably could have made it work somehow. But there would have had to have been a Melissa McCarthy type character involved, rather than football jersey and his son.
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You chose the proper writer to create something with this image.
WHAT??? The Ladies’??? Too funny…
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Yep … The ladies room only. I can verify no sign like that in the men’s room.
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Mmm hmm… I won’t ask how come you have this photo, Frank…
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Easy …. My wife took pic to show me … Then I verified not one for guys … Then she sent me pic as I knew it would come in handy.
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Sure she did… Just kidding.
I know women have a tendency to write all over the walls more than men 😉
It did come in handy, obviously. And you knew the right man for the job!
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This was a minimal challenge for him. FYI … Graffiti is all over this establishment.
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He did you proud, of that I’m sure. Some places just beg for graffiti, eh?
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Yep … Our names are on the wall …. Actually near the restrooms.
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Fun stuff
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The establishment is an American classic!
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😊
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Love this, from the title onwards, great dialogue. Cheers
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Thank you my man!
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Marc,
You nailed this prompt! (So to speak.)
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OH EILENE! You went there! Nice one, you . . . pegged it!
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Bwahahaha! Nice challenge and nicely handled, sir. Oh and for the record, I want NO ONE to think I’m that woman (too many people get their Monika’s and Monica’s mixed up). Also for the record, I stand in solidarity with THAT Monica if she ‘rewards’ Andy once they get home. Appropriately. With a well placed hammer. On his little pin head. 🔨
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LOL, no . . for the record you are not that Monica.
I think Andy dug himself in but then managed to get out of it rather adeptly once push came to. . . shove.
You’re really hitting em out today Monika with a K! 🙂
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Social isolation demands the record be perfectly clear. It probably also heavily contributed to any ‘problem-solving’ tendencies I might espouse. 🤣
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But of course. You . . . are trouble. LOL.
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Guilty as charged.
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I would tell you to behave yourself but yanno . . .
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Bwahahaha! Add our Canadian friend and we’re quite the trio to be reckoned with!
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No kidding! We got ourselves a legit gang!
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Oooh, let me design the tattooes! 😈
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Let’s do it!
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Love it
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Thank you LA
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Great story, Marc. The two characters (man and boy) who wandered in were terrific. Thanks to Frank for spurring you on.
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Thank you Boss. Yeah I was grateful they wandered into my story.
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Hahahah
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Nicely done! Entertaining with terrific dialog.
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Thank you RW. Nice to see you. I hope everyone is well.
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I never remember sex in the stall… but after reading your story, damn, you woke up some unpleasant memories haha
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Sorry about that. Bahahaha!
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LOL…I love that last line. Terrific story. Very entertaining.
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Haha, thanks George.
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Crazy and funny! Thank you!
The bathroom sign seemed like some kind of Covid sign, at first, and I couldn’t get that outta my head until I read some of the comments.
Somehow, that it was NOT Covid related made me relax into the humour and dearness, more. I thought it funny, anyway, but now it’s funnier.
I believe humour is needed more than ever now, yet, somehow straddling a finer line.
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Resa!
Yes, I am thankful that I went in a different direction than COVID. If only to take my mind somewhere else, yanno? I actually kinda had this one figured out from the get, LOL.
Gracias for the chime.
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