sorryless

And Martin Wept

Sorryless61 Comments

This is where Heroes comes to play. Every Friday but for this one.

I tried to put a compilation together, I really did. And its not like there aren’t plenty of heroes to be had. Because there are always the good places in this world, and the good people who make them so. It’s what makes heroism such a special thing, the fact that it never asks for attention. And so Heroes is one of the many places in the online world where they are brought to light, so that we may see the best in all of us.

Only this week, I ain’t feeling it. That whole best in all of us business is what I’m talking about. I realize I could have mustered a favorite five from the online hive and culled honey out of the hopelessness that seems stuck to this latest bad news week in a year that’s given us far too many of them already. But it seemed absurd to run an exclamatory banner heralding heroes. And the idea of planting a superhero’s image in my prelude ran counter to the images we’ve all seen. And figuring out a song with which to cap things off? No. None of it felt right, not after a couple weeks worth of reminders that race is still a chasm and discord its relentless weed.

So this post is just me, catching my breath and trying to shake this feeling that things will never change. Even if I have been feeling that way ever since a cop pinned George Floyd to the ground for the last nine minutes of his life. And then everything that has come of it, happened. Again. And now it feels like that speech that Martin Luther King gave on the National Mall almost fifty seven years ago was some ancient psalm. As if the world has forgotten its most erstwhile minister.

And I’m so angry and sad and confused, because Mr King deserved so much more than this. Because we are the progeny he was talking about in that iconic speech of his, where black and white constructed a much more profitable conclusion that involved not some of us, but all of us.

The Us hasn’t happened. And neither could this Heroes post, because there’s a time to celebrate and then there are times such as these. When I call upon a holy spirit and I provide him with the humblest remark I can summon for a world that still hasn’t figured this whole thing out.

I’m sorry.

61 thoughts on “And Martin Wept”

  1. So much truth here. Thank you for writing and sharing.

    I agree that it’s difficult to “celebrate” at the moment. It feels like a time when we should be looking inward and identify what we individually can do to create the needed change. And then outward and taking whatever steps we can, no matter how small.

    It’s amazing sometimes how little things change at times. We are essentially re-living things that have happened before. Over and over again. Without apparently learning from any of the prior experiences. I mean, my god, Trump is trying to re-create the “magic” of the 1968 Nixon campaign!!! I … just … go back to the beginning. It’s time to look inward and then take those small steps.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mark,

      I, along with you and everybody else, have struggled to find meaning inside this latest wreckage. I know I have questioned certain things about myself, because I feel that when I go dark, I need to pull myself out by honest evaluation.

      Small steps would be steps, huh? God if we could only take small steps each and every time, it would mean we are moving forward and that there is a positive momentum to be had.

      You’re absolutely right. We have been taken back . . MAGA time. And that’s where I always had a problem with that slogan and mindset. America . . being great way back then. Because when you ask how that was exactly, you’re labeled a liberal or worse.

      Thank you for getting it. You’re one of the few who does take the time to examine and learn.

      Like

  3. “Race is still a chasm and discord its relentless (might I add, invasive) weed.” Yup, that’s absolutely true. And despite idiotic comments by the likes of Drew Brees and others as well as protests and demonstrations/rioting, I am more hopeful (dare I even contemplate optimistic) than ever since King’s “I Have a Dream Speech.” Yes, we have a very long way to go but I think people, in particular white people in this country, have seen enough and realize the hypocrisy of demanding civil rights around the world yet refuse to provide it to our own citizens. I believe the light bulb may have finally turned on. I pray those same demonstrators take to polling places this year like they have to the streets. By no longer electing the likes of the Steve King from Iowa (not to mention the reelection of the current administration-I can’t even say his name any more I’m so repulsed) will we begin to rid our collective psyche of this scourge that’s embedded in this country. I hope we’re better than what we’ve shown repeatedly and the ugly ratcheting up stops…now. 🤞🏼 The sooner we stop being afraid of how ‘he’ll’ retaliate and instead actually do the right thing, then and only then can we begin to show heroism. ☮️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chasms are what keep people like King in office. They have no desire to change anything, because that would compromise their position. Imagine . . .

      As for Brees, I think he took the right course in coming out and saying he totally missed the point. I think it was important that it happened and that it was Brees, a guy who has done so much positive work. Because it shows just how different we are but how, with a little self examination, we can be so much better.

      King’s speech seems out of another time, a troubled time then and a troubled time now. But yes, there is hope. And yes, there needs to be discussion and action taken in November. Change only happens if peeps roll up their sleeves and get to it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hope springs eternal.

        As for Brees, I used to admire him and all he’s done for NO but his comments on taking the knee haven’t changed since it first came up with Cap 4 years ago. Call me cynical but I can’t help but wonder if he’d have ‘evolved’ had the pushback not been so swift and loud and from so many?

        Liked by 1 person

        • It does.

          There is a segment of society that will not budge, and I think it’s important that we know what they think. Because when Brees talked about the service and his grandfathers (not what Kaep was protesting), his black teammates had to answer by saying their grandfathers served, and their experience was vastly different. Perspective.

          I would like to think so. I need to feel as if these things are possible. All can’t be lost. But it’s hard sometimes.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. B,

    This was heartfelt and unlike so many out there, no whining and woe-is-me-ing is involved whatsoever. I think MLK would be sobbing right now. Big, heaving sobs that his life was taken for a belief that could have manifested itself if people stopped hating (I’ll include it) and start loving. Your anger and confusion is warranted.

    I sincerely hope your feeling not only gets shaken off to the next stratosphere but gets proven wrong (which I know, deep down you hope does happen). This would be one case where you hope you are wrong.

    Let us show, by our actions, words, deeds that the US can happen. Must happen.

    Q

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I am grieving for who we should be. Why have we let hatred and intolerance become so entrenched in our lives. We are better than this, we should be better than this. The colour of our blood is the same. Our feelings, our fears, are the same. We are one race: the human race. Why can’t we act like it?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. First of all, I’ll start by flattering you….culled honey out of the hopelessness…WHAT A GREAT LINE THIS IS. Next, I’ve been thinking about you because, it seems to me, you haven’t been yourself lately. I won’t pry, but noticed.

    And for the record, it’s hard staying the course as we know it, with all this satanic shit going on. I mean, did we need the murder of this man who no one has a bad thing to say about?

    Our fuses are so short. Never before has life dangled on the edge this way, so I’m not surprised if you feel too sad, too dejected, too disappointed in mankind to even do what you do best, which is write.

    Oh yeah, CULL, goes in the Melville Files.

    Susannah

    Liked by 1 person

    • Firstly, thank you.

      And no, I have not. I was very down, and the past couple weeks only exacerbated this for me. I started writing other things because I need to pedal when my brain gets lost in the dark.

      It’s that writers intuition of yours. 🙂

      It’s unbelievable to me how this has happened. How we have a man in office who pisses on the ideals the way he has. I mean, it shouldn’t surprise me, but yet it has. He trolls, he demeans, and he has exactly NOTHING in common with the vast majority of people who are in love with him. He wouldn’t give them the time of day and yet they follow him like lemmings.

      As for Floyd, nine minutes. I keep thinking on that nine minutes. I realize one cop can snap, but how was no one there to stop him in those nine minutes?

      I will definitely write. Sometimes I just feel as if I need a breather from the world. Because deep down, I’m a true believer. And I hurt when it doesn’t come out the way it should.

      Cull is in. Most definitely. Herman would be proud of us for this file.

      Thank you SB, thank you so much

      Liked by 2 people

      • A nine minute snap, perhaps? Think of OJ in Nicole’s driveway, his unleashed rage lasting way over 9 minutes. Racism, anger and fear mixed together could be the next Atom Bomb. They should study Derek Chavin’s before not just after, behavior. It might help the future of Law Enforcement. Do you recall that incident I witnessed when a cop got a little too tough with a young couple pushing a baby carriage? Said they weren’t social distancing, and the husband went off the rails…WE’RE A FAMILY…WE LIVE TOGETHER. I saw that cop deflate because he realized, yeah…that was not…to quote Sorkin in the West Wing…a proportional response. If only Officer Minnesota caught himself. We’d still have George Floyd to talk to. And don’t get me going on Trump. Let’s just say, the Framers are no longer at rest. One more thing Mr. Imma…get up off the mat…we need you. SB

        Liked by 1 person

        • That snap from reality scares the living Dante out of me. OJ had another side to him though. Which is why I didn’t believe he did it at first. I was suckered in by his smile and his charm, only to learn his other side after the murders.

          This cop snapped, but I’m at a loss as to what his partners were doing. Where was that one rational person to push him back and tell him to take five?

          I grew up in Howard Beach, a place that would become synonymous with the racial divide of a city. I knew the kids involved, good boys from good families. Excepting for Jon “English”, who had always been a punk. I was sad to see a place I loved become “that place”. It was far from perfect, but show me a neighborhood that doesn’t have issues and no, Montana doesn’t count.

          Like

        • That was not meant to say that I was not enraged at what happened that December night in 1986, when those “good boys” turned into monsters. I was so angry, reading about all of it.

          As for me? I’m off the mat, back in the gym.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. No need to be sorry, Pilgrim. We all have the feeling that we’ve not come very far at all. The human condition has been steadily working up to the point of frustration. We have no leaders we can turn to for comfort either. It is like someone cut the rope at the dock and forgot to put a captain on board. We will all need to learn to row together before it is all over. I feel your pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dear Marco,

    To quote Rodney King, “Why can’t we all just get along?” Why indeed? I remember the famous speech from Dr. King and I remember the news telling us he’d been gunned down. One would think half a century later we’d have learned something by now, wouldn’t you?
    My eldest son is the same age as George Floyd. I keep seeing his neck pinned under that cop’s knee. Although that’s not likely to happen, still…it breaks my heart. Your post is pitch perfect. I have no great comment other than I’m with you, my friend. Thank you.

    Shalom (oh that it were so)

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rochelle,

      You would think so, wouldn’t you? And this isn’t to say we haven’t made strides. But then, we are issued a reminder that things are still so far from where they need to be. And these moments serve to show us that it’s not a singular event, it’s happening all the time.

      Nine minutes. I can’t stop thinking about it.

      You have a loving, heartfelt and beautiful comment. And I always love your thoughts and presence.

      Shalom, love and hugs

      Marco

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Perfectly understandable why you would need hit the pause button on Heroes to say this instead. Given that so many people feel this way, it seems crazy that this shit is still going on. What will it really take to get this racist tumor excised from the American body? Not just voting, but insisting that bad actors be held to account.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eilene,

      We have made strides, and yet there is that below the surface reality. And it doesn’t help to have such vitriolic leadership, not one bit.

      As for Heroes? It didn’t feel right this week. And there are going to be breaks from it throughout the summer, since well . . hopefully things will open up and everyone will be alright. Wishful thinking is the only kind of thinking I can deal with right now.

      Like

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