You can be extremely persuasive and charming (read overbearing and hard to take). You have strong morals, but like everything else, morals have a flip side; so you’re well versed in closets and hush money as a result. You’ve got more dirty little secrets than Jerry Falwell Jr’s burner phone, which is both impressive and tragic.
Your friends fawn over your magnetism . . until they find you in bed with their spouses, after which they usually lodge an online campaign to destroy you. This is why you’re such a control freak and tend to play things close to the chest by blackmailing them before Google can get to digging its claws into you. Being such a prolific lover comes at a price, and you know how to collect while covering your ass, which means you probably went into the wrong profession.
A hive of energy, you’re constantly doing someone, something. You’re notorious for taking on several projects at a time, and that doesn’t even include your side hustle peddling opioids to the kids at work. As a result of your mostly nefarious hobbies, you’ve learned from your mistakes and have become expert at pinning the blame on someone else. As far as relationships are concerned, you’re the ultimate pragmatist. So while love is all well and good, you seek a main squeeze with palenty of cheese.
As true believers go, you’re a pretty damn good tennis player.
B,
You know I love these! And I’m surrounded by DamnVirgos as I call them. I know you have fun with these and throw stuff against the wall and see what sticks but damn if I don’t recognize a few of them in these words…You don’t do it on purpose but you have hit the nail on the head this time,
And I know this sounds conceited, but Elle’s song is my theme song. Well, it could have been, back when I was actually sought after and they came a-calling. Good times.
Q
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Q
These horoscopes are about as subtle as a ball-peen hammer. What’s not to love?
I umm . . . have no idea what you’re talking about. None. And if any Virgos are reading this exchange, I didn’t write this post. Uh . . . it just showed up here and I couldn’t delete it. Damn Block Editor is taking over!
I love that song! It’s a great theme song to have, young lady! 😉
B
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I know! That’s why they are so great!
Uh huh… right. Well, I, um, am still amazed at how accurately you accidentally portray them.
It’s a fabulous song! I belt that baby out – when I’m in the car, naturally – and well, it would have been better to have it then but I can reminisce now 😉
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Nothing like satire to get the juices flowing.
I swear I don’t know where this comes from . . okay they’re gone, I think . . .
Haha! I belt it out in the middle of the night, because I can. And okay, it’s noise pollution but a boy’s gotta let his pipes go every now and then.
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Hah! Right!
Uh huh… don’t bother looking for them. Allow them to come by now and again…
Absolutely! You’ve the space for it, so why the hell not? Not like any guests will wonder what that caterwauling is…
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Right?
I will not summon them, God forbid I summon them. Only bad things can come of that, and well . . why did I write this post? Jesus.
That’s what I thought. And outside of a few police calls, it’s been relatively smooth sailing for me, so there’s that.
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Right!
Hah! Don’t you be fretting now… just wear a shield.
Haha! At least in my car, I have no fear of the cops being called… unless I forgot to put up my window.
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I need kevlar. Stat.
That’s it! I’ll use the car as my other sound stage . . .
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Buahaha! You’re a strong guy…
It’s great. Plus you can really turn up the volume on the radio… makes you sound so much better…. you meaning I speak for me, of course.
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Unfortunately, this has little to do with physical strength.
I also utilize the shower every now and then. But the car is so much better, because it feels like a personal studio.
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Yes, I know that. And you are strong all ovah – and don’t say a word… sometimes we are stronger with the help of others, but still strong. 😘
That’s not too bad, as long as you don’t get the jet in your mouth as you try to reach those high notes… For me, the car is best.
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😘😘
The jet does try to shut me up . .
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Hahaha!
😘😘
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😘😘
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We’re not all bad and make great and uber loyal friends. We can be a bit harsh in the criticism department so sorry about that. You’ll always know where you’re at with a Virgo…we are not game players. 😇
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No, you are not all bad – how can I think that where there are so many in my vicinity? Yes, you can be and there is no doubt whatsoever where y’all stand! And that is a trait, we Aries also have, by the way 😉
xoxo
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Oh yes, how well I know. I was married to an Aries. Once.
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Oh gawd. I feel your pain in reverse. I lived with a Virgo for five yrars.. Besides my sisters and father – they don’t count the same way.
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🤣
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Dear Marco,
As a Virgo I found this fascinating. I will admit to taking on several projects at a time. Aside from that…I guess you’d have to ask my friends and or acquaintences. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
Well yanno . . results do tend to vary. And while I know you to be cheeky when you wanna be, I find you much more refined and sophisticated than the parodied Virgo I used in this post. 😉
Shalom,
Marco
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I need to find me a Virgo…
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Vaya con dios, LA. 🙂
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😆
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Super reading, Pilgrim. I have never hung around a Virgo but maybe I should hunt one up. 😁
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Boss man,
Easy there, fella. You DO realize that a simple conversation with a Virgo usually ends in a trip to Vegas. I mean . . I’ve heard stories.
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My secod wife could fall in that category but she was an Aries.
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I KNEW there was a reason I never got to the second wife!
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Lost a lot of hair with that one.
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For shiz
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Money too. Talk about for shizzle.
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No kidding
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Ha ha, liked this. As a virgo myself, i can confirm all this is true. Especially the opiods bit. Cheers!
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I miss the stuff, thanks PM
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As a Virgoan, I can heartily recommend it. You won’t find anyone more loyal but…ahem…treat us well…our patience has limits when it comes to nonsense and we don’t tend to forget transgressions. 😇
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I’d take her word for it Boss. She don’t play.
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Unsure if I know any Virgos … but that may be a good thing. Then again, I probably know some but they hide it well. Well done, sir!
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I don’t pretend to know everything there is to know about Virgos, obviously. After all . . I’m still alive! 😉
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Crazy but I am supposed to get along with Virgos but I do not….lol…they always seems to see me as competition and I HATE it! The guys I dated were so weird lol.
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It happens, mama. I can honestly say this post was not based on any real life events though. In this particular instance, the horoscope was complete fiction, LOL
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😂 I found some truth in it 🤣🤣🤣
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Peeps always do it seems, LOL
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Umm…as a Virgo…have you secretly been stalking me…Philip Marlowe style?
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LOL, nope. I’m no stalker. I have been guilty of listening to other people’s conversations in book stores and coffee shops in the past. But only so’s I could mold fictional scenarios out of them.
The way I do with my horoscopes, which have absolutely no basis in fact. My concept is sum of all fears and worst case scenarios meets Mad Magazine for these.
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With a smidge of truth added. 🤣
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You said it, not me! LOL
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😇
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