Time was, the idea of change possessed an alchemized quality whose essence was the sweetly reckoned offspring of Bradbury. It screamed its fledgling lungs out in a beta operetta and we rode its song to sleep with dreams of a future replete with hovering highways, robot athletes and world peace, or nuclear annihilation. Either? Meet Or. And yet, there was an abiding charm to it all. And then 2000 happened.
Say you would have gone to Vegas at the turn of the millennium and laid down this bet . . .
That the Twin Towers would be gone. That Joe Paterno was no saint after all, his legendary name forever tarnished by a horrible child rape scandal. And Bill Cosby, America’s Dad, would be a convicted serial rapist. Donald Trump . . President. And oh yeah, a global pandemic would bring us to our knees.
No jinn joint in Vegas would’ve touch that crate of cray cray prime. And yet, here we are. With all of the above having Waffle Housed us into a braveless new world where every strange corner has become a dubious rendezvous. We’ve lost the thrill that used to be associated with mystery. In fact, sometimes it seems as if we’re downright scared of the prospect. Can you blame us?
So Imma write up a light beer What It Is for our weary minds to get drunk on. A dainty little duty free dance that regales in time machine wizardry, because I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of running from the stuff.
And to 2021, all I can say is . . have some mercy on us, will ya?
Back in the day . . . If you went viral, it was time to see a doctor.
Today . . . If you go viral, you’re famous. Or infamous. And sometimes, both.
Back in the day . . . If you enjoyed “Fifteen minutes of fame” it meant you were a temporary fascination.
Today . . . If you enjoy “Fifteen minutes of fame”, you’re a reality show star.
Back in the day . . . Madonna
Today . . . Lady Gaga
Back in the day . . . You could catch your favorite musicians on MTV.
Today . . . You might catch your favorite musicians on TMZ.
Back in the day . . . A Walkman was space age shit.
Today . . . A Walkman is the shit that takes up space in your attic.
Back in the day . . . Dick Clark was going to live forever.
Today . . . Ryan Seacrest, it’s your turn.
Back in the day . . . If the President went nuclear, it was time to find a stocked up bomb shelter.
Today . . . If the President goes nuclear, he’s on Twitter.
Back in the day . . . The New England Patriots were a quaint flea market of a football team with a cool logo that had as much chance of winning a title as the Red Sox.
Today . . . Boston sports teams have tallied 12 titles since 2000, which means they signed their souls over to Charlie Sheen.
Back in the day . . . There was a payphone on every corner.
Today . . . There’s a cell phone tower that isn’t nearly as dependable.
Back in the day . . . The New York Jets were a dumpster fire of a franchise. Even when they won, they lost.
Today . . . Okay, some things really never do change.
Back in the day . . . When you went to a concert and got fucked up, it meant you did some magical potions whose illegality made you feel as if you were somehow fighting the power.
Today . . . When you go to a concert and get fucked up, it means you went to Denny’s.
Back in the day . . . A turntable was the greatest music delivery system for music lovers.
Today . . . In my humblest opinion, it still is.
Back in the day . . . Cameras needed flashbulbs.
Today . . . Instagram
Back in the day . . . When you didn’t answer the phone, it meant you weren’t at home.
Today . . . When you don’t answer the phone, it means you’re probably at home.
Back in the day . . . We looked back at the year that was with a melancholic affection.
Today . . . We’re sprinting to the finish line on this mofo of a calendar year.
Nice contrasts. You’re right, 2020 will never inspire any sort of longing nostalgia. Just too awful. The new year must surely be better. Cheers to that, Marc!
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I’m very much looking forward to 2021. If only because it’s not 20!
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What a fun post, Pilgrim. You nailed the need to get rid of this year pretty good. For me, I’m laying low afraid that 2020 will somehow pull an orange hair and want to stay around. I need to hold my breath until 12:00:01. But then, I want to shovel the whole mess out the back door. Well done.
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Sheriff,
This is my hope for better days. To think there isn’t much of anything positive that we can take from this year, except maybe that we will be orange-less before too much longer. And yet, there was plenty of good stuff going on out there. Maybe that’s the perspective I want to buy. That I’m still here. That I’m able to look back and write about it. There’s always something to be grateful for.
Thank you my man.
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I agree.
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This is great. Funny when I got to the Jets part, you concluded with exactly what I was thinking…😉and they probably don’t get the draft pick….
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Haha! Same old Jets.
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Nice list of contrasts and great, creative intro. It really is difficult to imagine people ever waxing nostalgic about 2020, but I think those who took the isolation and made lemonade – learning something new, taking up healthy routines (did anybody really do that?) and the like – just might celebrate the silver linings someday.
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You’ve got be one hell of a messed up year for people to want to run from you.
As for those healthy habits? I was able to abide, until the holidays came around. So I guess on that front, some things never change.
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What a spot-on reflection on then/now. Can’t wait to show 2020 the door and plan to slam it shut in its piehole. This year has been a year of loss. Just plain agonizing, gut-wrenching loss, chaos and how far people will go to be vile, craven, grotesque and despicable. I pray 2021 offers us a second chance where we can reconnect with our former souls. Happy New Year, my friend.
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Here’s to second chances in 2021
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B,
Love the title. And your intro. And the bet no one in their right mind would have ever laid down. But could imagine the odds? Talk about payday! No kidding we’ve lost the thrill. We are more like a wince and cover our heads people now.
I think it’s a great idea to stop running and yes, 2021, come on in with a gentle smile, wouldja?
If we were to go back in time and use terms like doing viral and getting our fifteen minutes of fame, they’d think we were nuts.
Ryan Seacrest – perfect Dick Clark replacement!
What in the blessed fuck was that at Denny’s? Good gawd…
Turntables give the best sound. I miss having one and regret to my core getting rid of my albums.
Now, if you don’t answer the phone, the person at the other line starts cussing that you don’t have call waiting (and if you did and STILL dissed them? Holy frijoles…
I’m not one to say a year sucked. Even the year Mick died it has been a fabulous year up until December 11th. Then it would have been easy to say the whole year did. But I refused to. 2020, however? I am SO done with it. Too much. Just. Too. Much.
But we will live to tell, won’t we?
Q
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Q
Lay down a buck to win a thousand. And that’s for starters, LOL.
We DO wince when it comes to the prospects of change. When we talk about what’s around the corner, we do so with a somewhat fatalistic tone in our voices. But hey, after close to a year of dancing in the dark, what can we expect?
That Denny’s thing was called “The Grand Slam”. And really, I can’t believe that abomination is confused with music. By anyone.
It really was the best way to go.
It’s impossible to just ignore a call without them being onto it. Technology!
Too much has been lost. Hope, that is the tough one to reconcile.
We will move on.
B
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Haha! I coulda been a contender…
We do! We’ve been slowly trained to expect another blow waiting for us just ’round the next corner.
That was gawd-awful noise.
It was, dammit.
Technology has completely taken away our privacy unless we are super strict about it… and even then.
So much has been lost. It is tough. But we gotta try.
And we will. We will move forward.
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Cuidado . . just in case there’s a blip in the time continuum.
We have. It’s been this way for decades but I notice it really has come out to play(?) during this pandemic. Maybe fatalism is a touch too strong a word, but not by much. Cynicism with a few shots of espresso, how’s that?
It was.
The thing about technology is that dang reach. We don’t even know how far it IS reaching. But rest assured, it is.
We do.
Onward, and hopefully upward.
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Yes. Hay que tener cuidado! We could ask John to help us not bugger up said time continuum.
It has definitely taken advantage of our preoccupation with everything going on. Espresso-laced cynicism – so good.
Indeed.
The reach is far and wide and bloody strong.
And we will.
Hear! Here! 😉
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He always has primo grub for the ride, so I say we do that. Good idea.
I think so. There is no profit to our imaginations when all we do is dwell on something that, let’s face it, is volatile on a level to which we haven’t experienced in modern times.
Fuck it is what I say. The dwelling ain’t helping so we have to break the chain.
HEEERRE! 😉
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That he does! 🙂
None. You get nowhere dwelling.
Fuck it! Got your bolt cutters?
Woooot! 🙂
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He da man.
And what for? So the year can own you? I think it’s done enough of that. Time to break free of that.
Always keep em in the trunk. 😉
You go girl!!
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He is.
It has done its damage and is no longer allowed to keep hold.
I knew you are my kinda guy…
Long as you’re coming…
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It can’t be allowed to hold court any longer. Time to turn the page.
You did huh?
Of course . . .
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No. Time to turn the page and glue it shut.
Yeah… pretty certain, even.
Perfecto!
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Glue it, hammer it, solder it . . all of the above it? Check, check, and check please!
You is.
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Yes! And yes!
Awww shucks…
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😘
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😘
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A gem in every sentence my man. Cheers
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Thank you kindly, good sir.
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LOL!!!!
You write great posts.
This is no exception, and I always enjoy a visit here. Thank you!
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You are so sweet and lovely, Resa. What is it about you Canadian chicas?
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Well…… we’re…… hmmm….. let’s see…..
I’d say we eat a lot of candy, but I hate candy, and detest sugar.
Maybe we have …. no that’s not it!
Oh, oh it’s the fact that in 1918…. no, no that’s a different topic.
So, that leaves me thinking.
Still thinking!
Working on a punch line!
…… a sense of humour? …….
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Yes, yes you are.
Sweet, Passionate. Provocative. Silly. Clever. Cheeky. . . . and that’s just breaking the surface of the ice on what you chicas are.
Sense of humor? Oh yeah. oh my goodness yeah!
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Yes, well it’s freezing here in the winter, so breaking ice, especially icicles from the eaves is quite common. So yes, you are correct! 😀
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You know it! 🙂
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Sweet and serious, profound and profane, insightful and indescribable. Classic Sorryless! I also wrote about dumpster fire and the Devil (although I went with the Hoff instead of the Sheen). Gave you a shout out, hope you don’t mind. Thanks for your work to entertain, inform and agitate your readers this past year. Best to you and yours for this one coming.
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The Hoff as President, huh? I mean . . I can’t say ANYBODY is a ridiculous take after what we’ve gone through in the last four years.
Never do I mind such a thing, A Dude. 🙂
Gracias my man. And wishing you all the same tambien.
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Well done with your then and nows –
The pay phone back then reminds me how there is now a high tech smart phone in everyone’s pocket
But I liked your tower take better
–
And the Denny’s at 2 am?? Yikes
–
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I remember the pay phones and newspaper vending machines were everywhere. And water fountains in public places . . that too.
Who KNEW there was such a thing as a concert in a Denny’s? I mean, no wonder the band broke up! How do you top that?
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Haha – they also broke up because the screaming took its toll – lol
And okay Marc
Do you remember milk machines?
In Buffalo we had milk vending machines where fifty cents wouod get us a quart of ice cold milk
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It did!
I do not remember us having milk machines. But I DO remember coffee machines with the paper cups.
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Oh yes – I know those machines
And the milk
Machines were on certain corners and were awesome
Ask regarding the then and now
Back then the switch board operators would listen in on calls
And now – anyone tech savvy enough gets to listen in ! Ha
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I remember getting hot chocolate out of them every chance I could.
And payphones. When the operator would break in and ask for an additional amount of coins and it meant it was time to hang up . . .
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Haha – did not have that experience with the operator
But I do recall when phone calls went from the dice to the quarter ! It was a huge change eh?
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I was well versed, LOL.
We complained about that, a lot.
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Hahaha
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