I’m in line at the grocery store, its the 20 Items or Less lane that makes me wonder “Didn’t there used to be a 10 Items or Less lane?”. And I mean, there probably still is one but I’ve just gotten so used to the self-service lanes that I wouldn’t really know.
Anyways, I’m committed now since I have people in front of me and more importantly, behind me. What’s more, I’m giving myself away because there I am, counting items. As if anybody gives a flip whether I’m over the legal limit in this instance. Because it’s not egregious looking, my shopping cart. It’s ballpark fine and yet I go on counting, which feels like such a quaint gesture in this day and age now that I’m thinking about it. As I’m counting it occurs to me that management didn’t make the rules for carts like mine. They made them for the shoppers who look like they just spent an afternoon in Costco.
Me? I’m working a plus/minus situation that would require a recount if this were an election, but still I count. And when the counting’s done, I’m exactly one item over. It’s the bag of sourdough pretzels I picked up when I was cruising the Lays million and one flavors of potato chips. Going with pretzels instead was a sensible choice, and for my bonus points, I don’t have any nacho cheese at home to dip the pretzels in; which would’ve effectively defeated the sensible choice I was making.
Of course, I’m not moving out of line over one item. But it feels good to get lost in a meaningless intrigue, what with all the shit that’s happening in the world. Letting my brain get stuck on something that doesn’t mean a fig in the grand scheme of things, it helps to soften the edges and I like the feeling. A lot. And then I look back and see that the girl in back of me is carrying a basket. I’m guessing she’s got no more than five or six items in it, so I tell her to cut ahead of me. She’s thankful, but so am I. More so, in fact. Because the simple things feel like a winning hand from right here. And six feet apart is where it’s at inside this simple moment. It’s the whole world. And I don’t have to wonder where all the kindness and good feelings ran away to.
They never left.
B,
We have the twelve items or less over here… I’ve even seen an eight items or less line. Eight? Why? That said, I have found myself doing exactly what you did. Counting my items, trying to ensure I’m not pushing it and frustrating anyone behind me; who, if they also are carrying a little basket, I let through. Maybe it’s to ease the guilt or maybe it’s just because, why not?
Ironically, tonight I went to Costco and had a pretty decent-sized basket. One of the employees directs me to the new lesser items cash. I look at him questioningly and say, really? I mean, the option of scanning and putting to the other side of the basket is not an option! He tells me yeah, you go ahead and tell him it’s me. I shake my head, look at the normal lines and think, I can easily wait. He insists. Well, the cashier was not pleased, then shrugged and said hey, grabbed an empty basket and shifted my scanned goods from one side to the other, mumbling all the while.
Eeesh. My apologies. That went on a bit, didn’t it? And all I wanted to say was remember the movie “Ten Items or Less”? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vYafw75zSI
I love this. (And perfect song, of course).
Q
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Q,
Eight items huh? Like I said, I don’t even pay any mind to these lines any longer since I am going when it’s slow or I use self-service lanes. But today the best line was the 20 Items line so I took it.
That would have been something that happens to me! LOL.
Yes I do! Morgan Freeman and I don’t remember the chica’s name. That was such a quirky little movie.
The song came to me. Again. While I was driving home. 😉
B
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Yup. Eight. I also try to go when it’s slow – last night it was almost eerie to see Costco so empty… but what joy!. And I only go to the self-service if the are lines everywhere (that whole jobs being taken away thing)
I didn’t mind it but I could see the people behind me getting all frustrated like I was the one who decided to bulldoze my way in with 100 items in the 20 items or less lane!
It was a fun movie for sure – Paz Vega is the chica.
A good ‘un.
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The jobs will go no matter what, sadly.
That’s the part I wouldn’t have minded, at all. Peeps can get as pissed as they please.
Paz Vega!
A classic.
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I know. But I won’t be one of the reasons 😉
True. I could have done without his muttering – I kept thinking of those rubbies who walk down the streets in their rags mumbling about doom and gloom.
Beauty of a chica!
It is.
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You fight the power.
The Doom and Gloomers might be on to something, especially with all the shite going on these days.
Indeed!
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I do my best.
They might be at that! Oy…
🙂
MWAH!
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😘MUAH!😘
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😘
MWAH!
😘
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Small acts of random kindness build up to a big thing.
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I believe that.
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Didn’t get this “item”-thing really… we dont have it in Sweden. At least, not yet. But I loved the irony in your writing 😉☕️📚
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No item thing in Sweden, huh? Yanno, my daughter is looking to teach overseas post-COVID. I’ll have to suggest Sweden.
Gracias RNB.
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What is “item-thing”? Means you can’t buy more than 8-12-or-20? I just got back from the store… we don’t have such thing 🙂 & never had (during pandemic 😷 )
And yep, your daughter is welcome! Sweden is a nice place ⛄️🫖📚🚘
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It means you should only have that many items when you go into a line so as to cut down on waiting time. Of course, the waiting time is entirely dependent on who is checking out the customer.
She is excited about the possibilities.
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Kinda irrational… I can’t even count how many items I bought this Tuesday… but I packed 2 refrigerators with them, at home 🏡 so I guess – a lot.
If I’d buy only 12 or 20 items = I had to go to the store more often, or bring all my relatives with me … = more exposure to covid (at least in my eyes)
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It IS irrational isn’t it? I think so too. But Americans, we take extreme advantage of everything so we must be treated like the children that we are.
I used to shop just about every day and I preferred that. Buy fresh, eat what you bought Go again.
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From other side, it’s only 10 millions living in Sweden 🙂 so we don’t have any queues…
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Man, that sounds like the place to be right now.
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Dear Marco,
I remember cashiering the thirteen items-express lane. There was always some shageggy with a basket full who dared you to toss her out of line. I’m amazed at how inconsiderate people can be. At the same time there were also those who restored my faith in human nature. Like the lady who paid for the groceries of the lady behind her. It’s nice to know that there are people in this world who care and that you are one of them. Love the post and you never gamble with Kenny Rogers. ❤
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
Thirteen items huh? So management wasn’t superstitious . . that is refreshing.
There’s always that one person who wants to rain on everybody’s parade. Always is. And conversely, there is always someone there to make the day shine. It evens out in the end.
Nope. You leave Kenny be when you see him at the tables. First rule.
Shalom,
Marco
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You should have used the elevator counting system. #13 is not included in the tally.
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Dammit! You’re right CJ!
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Before I was banned from entering a food store I did furious counting when I suspected the stern athletic-looking female behind me was also counting. I think one item over is nothing. I just hated the bozos who have a heaped basket and almost dare you to say anything. That’s why I always wore my,” I’m packing I hope you are,” (That wasn’t what got me banned. Not using coupons got me banned.)
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Of course! Coupons are way more serious than guns in a grocery store. Them peeps come packing heat with their double coupons too.
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So true. Hahahaha.
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I forgot the t-shirt part of “I’m packing. I hope you are,”
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I want one.
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I think we could sell a ton in DC
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On it.
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🤣
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If we ever forget how to do simple acts of kindness then we are doomed as a species. I love this song by Kenny Rogers. Great rules for life!
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We won’t forget. Some of us will be clueless (they always were) but we won’t drop the ball on this moment.
Love that song too. 🙂
Thank you Pam.
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I just love grocery shopping stories. Actually had multiple ones on the old blog. For me, one over is no big deal. Now the person with an cart jammed full going through the self-checkout lane gripes my ass – but hey – I respect their right to be both selfish and stupid. Cheers to you for letting the person behind you go ahead … perfect … another thing I do when it’s right. 🙂
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There’s so much going on in a grocery store. I once contemplated starting a grocery store blog. Only stories I collected while shopping.
There is SO much that annoys me when shopping. From the peeps who push their carts RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE . . to the peeps who don’t know what they want when it’s there turn to order at the deli . . . so many things.
It’s the simple gestures that make the world smile, I think.
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Damn … we are so much on the same page on this. You’ll enjoy these …. My shopping posts … https://afrankangle.wordpress.com/category/shopping/
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I remember this one! Hilarious.
PS- The SUV shopping carts should be banned. Forever.
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I still would love to use a cattle prod in the store or by the grocery cop issuing fines.
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If you get one, ask for the two-fer discount and get me one. Lemme know what I owe ya.
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Must start watching for sales on Amazon!
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You do that, LOL
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Good on you for yielding your spot to the basket lady. I think most people just want to get in and out as quickly as possible and don’t take an item over the so-called limit with too much seriousness. These days the 6 foot limit is far more important. Both front and behind. Most people have gotten used to the front part, it’s those that ride up your backside that get my dander up.
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I am one of those who likes getting out when I go shopping. I am the bee-liner type of shopper. But hey, once you slow down and get some time to observe . . you figure out what matters more.
As for the bumper humpers, WTF? It messes with my dander too!
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In-n-out is even more important in the age of COVID which naturally messes up my zen whenever I go to Costco where they seem to rearrange the store every month. Argh!! I’ve discovered bumper humpers may back off if you turn around and stare menacingly at them. 😈
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I have never been to an In-n-out. Yet. But Costco, my God, those people are demons when it comes to their planograms!
Imma do that. I’ll add a couple lines from the Exorcist just to scare the sufficient shit out of their annoying asses.
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A couple of new In-n-Out burger joints recently opened in the state and both locations (Aurora east of Denver and Colorado Springs) have both been traced to COVID outbreaks. Good thing I’m a vegetarian. When I go to Costco I want to go in and get out quickly just to avoid everyone else. People do too much looky-looing at Costco. 😕
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I haven’t belonged to Costco in years, but yes . . it was the scene of much buyer’s remorse in my past. While the kids roamed the grounds partaking of the endless samples, I was buying my groceries plus . . . And seriously, nobody needs a complete Halloween movie series with bonus footage . . . .
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I’m getting better in my old age. Maybe that’s why they’re on to me and moving stuff around hoping I’ve forgotten all that stuff I don’t need. 🙃
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Hahaha!
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First off yes … yes to that Kenny Rogers throwback. Second your kindness specifically yours and people like us our kindness and compassion for others still hanging out even in six feet times. The very fact that you stopped to count that right there my friend and know the difference between Costco cart and just 10 items or less as we got down is lacking in people. That’s one of my annoyances they got more than 10 items and then have the nerve to get a price check on items. DUDE. Or people who take up the whole lane and all you want is that box of Cheerios they’re blocking. You know what cereal you want! You KNOW. Once you pass college your flavors are permanently part of your taste buds. Don’t be playing games. But I do see people wave people through sometimes I do a lot of waving in, although I don’t think I’ve been waved through… probably because I’m not there for just two items unless it’s a baking emergency. 🙂
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DUDE! Almost forgot … Sunshine and waves 🙂
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Right back atcha, hermana.
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Cali,
Right? Kenny Rogers was the man, and this song, it just has some keep to it.
I always count if I think I’m close. Me? Once upon a time, I was a McNulty. Not in my marriage, but after it . . most certainly. But that low down dirty shame of me? Yeah, he still counted. And he still let peeps in front of him. And he still tried, to be something better than he was acting at that particular time. So from here, I know it’s possible. For everyone, to show their best.
Wait one minute. Are you a Cheerios person too? I am.
Baking emergency? Do tell . . . .
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McNulty. Ha! I can’t picture it. But with all his flaws on the show I bet he would totally let someone pass, and he’d probably count too. And dude you are definitely a person who seems to be constantly evolving through this stratosphere. So I’m rooting for you bud. I TOTALLY am a Cheerios person, what goes on in a person’s mind if they don’t have Cheerios in the house. We’re partial to MultiGrain and HoneyNut, or Chocolate of course. I got that cereal shelf well stocked with the kids. I’ve had my share of Carton deception where you think you have eggs but all you find is the Carton of lies. But my most urgent kitchen emergency of course was when I baked my pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving and decided to take out my freshly whipped cream out of the fridge and like a car crash that couldn’t be stopped dropped the bowl and had an epic explosion of fluffiness all over the kitchen floor and fridge door. I was like duuuuuuuuuuude. Thanksgiving Day… going to the market… It was a baking emergency, or a pumpkin pie eating one 🙂
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It is a constant evolution. And unlike McNulty, I ain’t drinking every night any longer. 😉 But yeah, he would definitely be considerate like that.
Cheerios Old School style, and then the two you listed, excepting for the chocolate. I dig it!
It IS a carton of lies, isn’t it? Ugh!
Whoa sistah, that there is a story that must be told. With tunes involved. I’d read it.
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Enjoyed this well written snippet and as usual – I love the little societal extras
Like this
“just spent an afternoon in Costco.”
Hahaha
My hubs just was there this week and noted how some folks drop almost a thousand folks with their full Carts /
Omg
– and cheers to letting her go ahead and that vibe of connecting – it truly is where so much beauty can be found
And side note – a long time ago I was scolded by someone who assumed I had too many items – I didn’t – but what the heck ?
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It’s always an afternoon when you shop at Costco. The kids have lunch with all the samples and I end up buying a TV when I’m supposed to be shopping for dinner.
There IS a vibe to it, to giving someone a moment. There’s an energy that moves the world. I believe that.
Me too!
Simpatica.
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😊☀️☀️☀️
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This is a great wee piece, marc. Small things, eh? Good luck with the nachos, man
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Small things, big nachos.
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😀
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Huh!
I’m also a counter of items……. other people’s. I don’t cheat in those line-ups.
However, I’ve always wondered if my bag of 6 oranges counts as 1 bag, or 6 items.
I don’t like using another plastic bag, but if I don’t put them in a bag, then I think it could be 6 items.
I am a firm believer that a dozen eggs is 1 item.
I might be overthinking.
Neat article, thank you!
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Haha! You’re a troublemaker, I love it.
It’s one item. And yes, it feels good to be able to job the system in that way. 🙂 The eggs are always a package deal.
Gracias Resa
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