Today’s Birthday! Gemini

The truth is not always pleasant, so it’s a good thing you don’t concern yourself with it. Thing is, the truth is going to be of vital importance in upcoming events . . so . .Β  you better start practicing. Remember the immortal words of George Costanza: It’s not a lie if you believe it. Trust your higher wisdom . . and when you fall short on that count, call in some favors.

Your dual personalities will come in handy this week, as long as you don’t get caught this time. Seriously, you’re about as nuanced as a sledgehammer. It wouldn’t kill you to read up on your Zen . . skip Happy Hour . . quit the Chia pet fetish . . find a new gig . . move out of the country.

Avoid those who wish to cause you harm, unless your spouse insists that you attend the family re-union. In which case, don’t forget the Xanax. Proceed with caution, and if possible, you should put off important decisions until clarity prevails. Never mind that clarity will probably arrive in the form of divorce papers. Hey . . it still counts!

Cosmic tip: Sleep in. Until July . . .

 

67 thoughts on “Today’s Birthday! Gemini

  1. B,

    Hahahaha! Wait… just HOW MANY POLITICIANS are Geminis?

    I love when you do these. Though frankly, right now, this sounds a lot like a certain Scorpio living in my house… Hmmm… maybe I should check the descendant… that might explain things. From what I hear from the experts in horoscopes, that is…

    As to family reunions… there are a few where Xanax should be prescribed. Just sayin’

    Love these!

    Q

    Liked by 3 people

    • Q

      All of em.

      Yanno, I don’t even know what my kids signs are, LOL. I pay so little attention to signs and mercury and the sluggish retrograde, so I guess I try to compensate by coming up with an ass-trological reading from time to time.

      The only re-unions in my family from here on out will require a funeral to go to, so there’s that. πŸ˜‰

      Gracias mucho.

      B

      Liked by 2 people

      • I know, right?

        Hah! Good grief. I can help you out with that one πŸ˜‰ I couldn’t tell you diddly squat about retrogrades and such nonsense either. Your ass-trological renderings are far more entertaining, lemme just tell you.

        Well, don’t be in any rush to participate, k?

        De nada mucho.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I think so. I got the though in my head over a fortune cookie and went from there. That’s as scientific as I can be with these things. Hope the horoscope God aren’t like Scientologists . . .

          No huay.

          πŸ˜‰

          Liked by 1 person

          • My brain has been all scrambled so this is a fun exercise. AND it helps those who might be Geminis at the same time! I think . . .

            I can’t do the Scientologists.

            Muy

            πŸ™‚

            Liked by 1 person

          • Well. Just so you know, a friend of mine who read it said it was SO TRUE! πŸ˜‰ Then another wanted to know what Leo’s was. I had to explain to her that his was a once in a while sorta thing and not all twelve signs are ever addressed in the same post πŸ˜‰

            Even if they are Haley Joel Osmont? πŸ˜€

            Bueno

            MWAH!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Coincidence . . entirely. Unless the stars were guiding my fingers. But I don’t smoke weed so no, that wasn’t it.

            Leo? I don’t know his birthday. (That was a DiCaprio joke . . .free of charge).

            I never address all twelve signs at once seeing as how matter would be crushed and all signs of life swept away into the cosmic dust bin. Sounds dramatic, I know.

            Haley scares me for different reasons.

            Muy!

            MUAH!

            Muy Muah!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Coinkidink! No need for weed.

            Buahaha! Badum bum psssshht!

            I know. That’s what I done told her. And I like the way you do this. So…

            No kidding. He’s come a errr way from seeing dead people.

            Oooh

            MUY MWAH is always good!

            Liked by 1 person

          • No Need For Weed is the tagline for Fast and Furious 9. How’d you know?

            I’ll be here all month!

            But Leo’s horoscope (the person) is easy. “You will be rich and handsome tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that and the day after that and . . .”

            Yikes. Talk about a fella who could do with a strawberry!

            That’s more like it.

            I thought so!

            MUAH!

            Liked by 1 person

          • I got my connections…

            Woo hoo! I bought season tickets πŸ˜‰

            And you will go through a chunky period but you will set yourself straight for the next role.

            No kidding!

            Mmm hmmm.

            Of course you did!

            MWAH!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Me too. I have dealers and I don’t even use! But hey, they’re going to come in handy if we ever have a zombie apocalypse.

            Woot!

            Yeah but he gets paid silly money to eat. Imagine that.

            MUAH!

            Liked by 1 person

          • True dat… wait. Rainbow?

            I suppose we would be more inclined to let ourselves go… nahhh. scratch that. I think actors are nuts with their weight losses and gains for roles!

            MWAH!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Code name, so as to protect the not so innocent.

            It’s bad for you. I know how cruddy I feel when I have an extra 10-15 (which I no longer do) so the idea of having an extra 50? Fuck that.

            MUAH!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Of course – just making sure I didn’t miss something!

            It is awful for you. Not only do you feel blech, but your organs and skin and everything feel the brunt of it. And Go You!

            MWAH!

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Having birthed a Gemini, I know all too well this star sign. But I must of done something right, he’s the least Gemini-ish type born under this sign that I know. Whew…lucky me, especially since I’m a Virgo and we could easily be oil and water like nobody’s business. πŸ˜‡

    Liked by 2 people

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