Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice, You’re From Tennessee

I have a friend I’ve mentioned a time or two here on the blog. Imma call him Barry since that’s his name. We’re only friends because it’s damn near impossible to be anything else when it comes to this guy. His personality is why the word Affable owns a sweet parking space in Merriam-Webster. If he had a superpower, it would be his innate ability to make friends with anyone . . instantly.

I can’t relate to this, seeing as how I have mastered the art of irascibility for good reason. My social contract doesn’t include butterflies. Barry is different. He is chatty. He loves group texts, poker games with his pals, Facebook and parties. The more makes him all the merrier, and while I think that kind of mindset is fucking lunacy, it seems to work for him.

Love things are his kryptonite. Because the love thing can be quite volatile, unpredictable and at times, even flammable. This is antonymous to Barry’s yen for Zen, in which sunflowers and sunny skies are the standard expectation.

So it was that his last serious tango proved to be the kind of involvement that usually spans several Presidents, costs trillions of dollars and results in far too many casualties. The only difference being, there ain’t no production companies looking to buy the movie rights to the minutes of Barry’s theater of war.

Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it
-Winston Churchill

Barry could do with some Churchill right about now, because he’s currently entertaining . . you guessed it . . a new love thing. I’ll call her Bette Davis since that is most certainly not her name. And while I don’t know her in the least, I know Barry well enough to tally a half dozen reasons why he is asking for trouble. Again.

Want me to list ’em? N’kay . . .

1- She bears a striking resemblance to Vietnam. I mean, his previous love gone wrong. I mean, Vietnam: If the new girlfriend takes note of the striking resemblance, questions will be asked. And if the old girlfriend takes note? Questions will be asked. In either/or case, many questions. Not a single correct answer.

2- She is already talking about moving in together: That’s right. He hasn’t even driven his car into her lot yet. But it’s okay because she is talking it up as a roommate thing where they can share expenses. And I’m sure they will draw up papers, have them notarized and co-exist wonderfully in a platonic relationship.

3- “She’s a drinker”: His words, not mine. But if you’re asking me to wager a guesstimate as to how long the relationship will remain platonic based on this testimony? Imma go with moving day.

Okay, that’s enough. Shit, this doesn’t even involve me and I’m already exhausted.

I told Barry he should put the “Roommates With Benefits” talk on ice before things get out of hand. Which means he’s probably already looking into how to break his lease. Because he’s a social butterfly who probably never saw Silence Of The Lambs. Otherwise he’d know what to expect . . .

34 thoughts on “Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice, You’re From Tennessee

  1. B,

    The Barrys of this world will always exist. And we can’t help be feel for them, despite them! They are foolish eternal optimists who refuse to learn from past mistakes thinking next time is the right one. That, and their internal warning system is defunct – okay, maybe it was never booted in the first place.

    I somehow feel that Barry would completely dismiss your concerns for him, no matter what you say. So you are doomed to watch from the sidelines as this latest train wreck takes place in slow (or not so slow) motion.

    Probably best to be immune from butterflies…

    Excellent choice of tune! I loved it!

    Q

    Liked by 1 person

    • Q

      This ain’t optimism. This is a serious medical condition that affects everyone who comes into contact with him. It must be dealt with by gifting him a funny cigarette. Which is problematic, seeing as how he’s a retired cop who probably was one of the few to play it straight!

      Well, the good news is he DID take my advice on this one. And the even better news is that he found out a bunch of not so great things about her last romantic episode from a gal who worked with her. Seems Barry was headed for actual trouble. But now he’s onto the next idea.

      Social butterflies like Barry best bring along the rulebook. Just. In. Case.

      Love Nick Waterhouse. Gracie!

      B

      Liked by 1 person

      • I was just trying to be nice… though I felt it was a serious issue…

        Oh! That is great news – not that he was going to go in blind, but that he took your advice. Thank goodness he actually listened this time.

        There are varieties of social butterflies, I’m thinking. They might carry the book but methinks they don’t peruse its contents.

        So good! I’m listening to it again!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Barry is 57, friendly, talkative, gray hair on the sides of a buzzy cut type hair style. Dated outfits, personable and probably lonely.

      His problemo is thinking that another person will make him not lonely. So he gets into these relationships and feels lonelier than if he had remained single. It’s a cycle that I hope is broken with someone who is sane and right for him.

      Or maybe he will move to the Keys and become a tour guide. That’d work too.

      Like

  2. I came across so many Barry’s in my years as a family law attorney. Always jumping right back in, quickly forgetting how bad the previous breakup was and ignoring all the red flags because they can’t stand not being in a relationship. When I worked as a prosecutor establishing paternity for children receiving public assistance, we referred to Barry’s – those fathering multiple children with different mothers – as “frequent fliers.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barry is a likeable fella. The thing with him is that he will complain about a situation that he KNEW was not a good idea. I mean, I have had many a situation that wasn’t a good idea but I never complained. Because it was my decision. Why complain? Own it.

      More and more people are going without. Because let’s face it, just because something has been a certain way forever doesn’t mean that’s the only way to do it.

      Frequent fliers huh? Haha!

      Like

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