I was never very good at swear jars or excusing my French, so it only makes sense that I write a post in which I celebrate one of my favorites words in the English language. So here then is my first (and probably last) post celebrating the word Fuck.
Because, why the fuck not? . . . .
- What in the unholiest of fucks . . . Is the world coming to when I read about a shooting outside of Nationals Park in Washington, and I’m not surprised in the least? The fans inside the stadium were another story, as they ran for their lives. And you can expect the San Diego Padres to make an appearance on my Heroes episode this week for what they did to help those fans.
- What the fuck . . . Was a Utah company thinking with their Lego-themed pistol kit? With the “Block 19” pistol kit, gun owners could use Lego blocks to create their own sights and designs on top of a Glock 19. The kit would have retailed for $600. Culper Precision pulled the product only after intense backlash (No fucking shit there was backlash!). But they did so reluctantly, and they blamed gun control advocates for overreacting. I don’t know about you, but I think that deserves yet another What the fuck.
- Where the fuck . . . Are Olympic athletes gonna go for some overtime play now that they can’t do the horizontal back at their village cribs? Officials have set up 18,000 cardboard beds, and while they’re sturdy enough for a single athlete, it might not hold up in the event of a doubles match. Which is what the suits are hoping for, seeing as how they want two weeks worth of competition rather than quarantining. But athletes are gonna be athletes, so I just hope there are more cardboard beds where those came from. Either that or . . umm . . grab some blankets and use the floor.
- Why the fuck . . . didn’t I check out this image after reading the story of a woman in Krakow who called animal welfare to report what looked like an iguana crawling up a tree in front of her house? When officers arrived on the scene, they learned that the creature in question wasn’t an iguana after all, but rather, a croissant. Now, when you simply read this account, your first thought is What the fuck? But then you Google the image and it tells a different tail. I mean, tale. Both. Which just goes to show, not all fucks are created equal.
- It’s about fucking time . . . A billionaire orbited space, now that Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos have done the deed. Sixty years to go eleven minutes, but hey, it still counts. And now that rich guys are walking all their space talk, can we please book passage for that fat schmuck down in Mar-a-Lago?
Welp, that’s a wrap, and if you made it this far, congratulations! For your trouble, I’ve included a short video all about my favorite word. And if you’re kind enough to leave a comment, feel free to substitute my favorite word with one of your own.
Hey, I’m that kind of fucking guy.