The Big Business Of Name Calling

NFL Fines Washington Football Team $10 Mil After Sexual Misconduct Probe

Remember when winning made headlines? Yeah, that shit’s over.

Take the Washington Football Team (I’m thinking they stole this moniker from the classic video game, Tecmo Football), which has announced they will have a new name in 2022. Last year it retired the nickname Redskins; a name it carried since 1933 when they were still based in Boston. After years of refusing to do the right thing, team owner Dan Snyder finally came to his senses. Or maybe it was because his reign as King of the Iron Deficient Throne was being threatened and he needed him a positive news day . . either or.

Washington Football Team vs Eagles - Week 1 | Tecmo Super Bowl 2021 - YouTube

The once perennial contenders have won a single playoff game since the turn of the millennium. Which is one more playoff win than the Washington Sentinels. Seeing as how the Sentinels are a fictional team from the Keanu Reeves movie The Replacements, that’s no bueno.

None of this matters because the football team in Washington (the realish one) is as relevant now as it was back in the time of Gibbs and Theismann and Lombardi trophies. Don’t get me wrong, they’re a decent football team as things currently stand. But for most of the past two decades they’ve been winning headlines without winning much of anything else, which, come to think of it, makes them a perfect fit for that town.

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We’re talking about an organization whose work environment was on par with anything the Fox News skirt hounds had going on. Washington was fined $10 million in January of this year for its “highly unprofessional” treatment of women. Which makes all the talk about banishing the derogatory nickname Redskins quaint in comparison. But since this post is about a more positive form of name calling, I will stay on message. For once.

A few ideas? On it . . .

Filibusters- Because the games will feel as if they’re never going to end, and yet . . nothing gets accomplished.

Vetos- For the team that has delivered rejection to its fan base for more than a quarter century. It’s perfect, really.

Scandals- I’m sorry, but it’s a slow news week without a good scandal in our national’s capitol.

Pork Barrels- It’s more dramatic than “The Hogs”, which was under consideration.

Motions- I really dig this one. It merges Congress with Motown.

Parliamentarians- Okay, maybe it’s a tad long, but it can always be abbreviated. Call them “The Parliars”.

Presidents- When they lose, they’ll make a federal case out of it. Never mind.

Luncheons- If you want to pack the stadium, this name will get ‘er done.

Monte Cristos- Can you imagine the concessions? It would be the best part of the game!

Hashtags- It merges a contemporary term used on social media with the term for lines on a football field. As an added bonus, slap a hashtag on the helmet and you’re trending, just like that.

Buckaneers- Add the k so as to avoid any legal hassles, and maybe . . just maybe, someone will confuse them with a Super Bowl champion this year.

Hollabacks- It’s a song from back in the aughts of 2000, fashioned in brass knuckle pearls by the great Gwen Stefani. I’m not gonna lie, I always thought this would be a cool team name. If I ever play Fantasy Football again, Imma go with it. And as the Pina to this Colada milkshake, an homage to girls wouldn’t be the worst idea for this franchise.

Of course, this entire exercise is a moot point since the new nickname for the team formerly known as the Redskins has already been chosen, probably. In the event there is still time and someone from the Washington front office is reading this and sees something they really, really dig? Have at it. All I ask in return is that you don’t offer me season tickets in return. I’m good.

Washington has some company when it comes to name changes, as the Cleveland Indians will also roll out a new nickname in 2022. Unlike their gridiron counterparts, however, the Tribe didn’t wait to unveil theirs. They will be going with the Guardians, and I cannot wait until they play the Angels for the first time. Think about it . . .

If you’re wondering what happened to all the Redskins merch, check Trump’s website.

 

 

 

 

18 thoughts on “The Big Business Of Name Calling

  1. B,

    I understand the name Redskins is no long acceptable. I really do get that. However… they have chosen the lamest, most unimabinable name possible! Seriously!

    They haven’t done much since forevever, eh? I can openly admit that after that Theismann break – which I watched lived, I kinda lost track. Like completely. Course, back in the day, I was way more in the know as the boyfriend I was cohabitating with was an avid fan, thereby making me one simply by osmosis plus, it was his TV so my control over the remote was tenuous at best. (I know, I know, hard to believe, eh? Back then, I was not quite as, err, quite as well, I was young.

    $10 million? Good grief. I am speechless. Course, as you say, the whole name thing does appear quaint in comparison.

    Now, to the names… Great, I mean GREAT selection. I must concur, Hollabacks woulda been a great name!

    Hah! Guardians vs Angels… too funny.

    I bet it all landed in Trump’s dumpster…

    Excellent choice of song (admit, I was half-expecing Hollaback…)

    Q

    Liked by 1 person

    • Q

      It IS kitschy. And I do like the uniforms. Something tells me I might even miss the generic simplicity of this name if they fuck up the new one! LOL

      That was mid 80’s I’m guessing. Cosell was still doing Monday Night Football and Lawrence Taylor was the defensive player who laid the hit on Joe, I think so anyway.

      Yes, this is the state of a world where men still want to do business the archaic way all this time later. Slow and steady will overcome, but it’s painfully slow.

      I love Hollabacks.

      That guy probably is collecting it all for when he starts his own football team.

      I was going to, but I liked this song better, 😉

      B

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is! Buahaha! That is too funny,.

        Yes, mid-80’s. And yes, Lawrence Taylor (whom I liked as a player) is the one who did the deed. And then called for help when he saw just what had happened!

        Slow… painfully slow.

        Hollabacks is great!

        Bite your tongue.

        LOL! It is a great song so win 😉 meet 😉 win… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • They might fuck up the name, I mean . . I don’t trust anything this franchise does

          It affected him, and I mean, how could it not? They have a certain mentality they bring into the game because they have to. But when reality strikes, it messes them up too.

          Too slow most times.

          I think so.

          Haha!

          I figured you would understand 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          • They might, for sure.

            How could it not? I was reading up on it and it took a while before others realised he was calling for help, not celebrating his sack.

            Most times.

            😉

            Of course I do! 🙂

            Like

  2. I vote for “Meh”…I’m so over that team. It’s maddening when the ‘news’ revolves around the misdeeds of the organization rather than playing the game. Starting at the top…it’s just sad people with the kind of money it takes to be a NFL owner are still NFL owners.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well the Filibusters is a bad move. Eventually someone would coin the Filly Busters…. back in hot water!
    Scandals – I dunno? Every time they miss a field goal, they’ll be called the Sandals.
    As a veggie I strongly oppose – Pork Barrels – or any other name that does not hold animals in the highest of lights.
    Sorry but, “The Parliars”. is a Canadian intellectual property, except we spell it Par Liars. We also have: Whole Liars, Pro Liars, Big Liars, White Liars, Stinkin’ Liars, Rotten Liars and Lying Liars.
    Buckaneers sounds like a retail corn stall.
    Wash in g ton ….
    How about the Laundry Bins!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh mango! You got a point there Resa. Okay, the Filibusters is out.

      The Sandals? They could always join up with the resort and cash in on that one.

      The NFL is not an animal friendly place, sorry to say.

      Wow, so if they were to go with Parliars, they would be smack dab in the middle of an international incident? Sounds about right, LOL.

      Buahahaha! The Buckaneers . . . a two-fer sale this weekend only!

      The Laundry Bins . . . it’s in the running!

      Liked by 1 person

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