To Thine Own Self, Be Mellow

If there’s one thing that flips my script, it’s someone harshing my mellow. In my last love thing, it happened just like that. She wrote a blog post in which she used the phrase (Harsh my mellow) in a curiously sardonic fashion. Curious because she knew it was my Zen place and yet she found it necessary to peddle the shit in an impudent middle finger to me. Sure, the gesture was little more than a passive/aggressive jab, but to me it was kryptonite on a platter. It wasn’t the reason for our Waterloo, just a sign that we had already set sail for the place.

So when I complain about the Block editor, it’s because the thing harshes a mellow I struggle to hold onto every single day. I understand this makes me cranky and temperamental and maybe even unreasonable to the dynamics of a relationship, in this case, writing. Thing is, why is it wrong to hold to such a thing? Why should I feel like I’m the one at fault for simply crushing on a method and wanting to keep it status quo?

The status quo is a vastly underrated neighborhood. It gets the shit beaten out of it by progress only because technology is changing the world every couple months. Adapting means you either get down with the next gen sexy or you find yourself staying home on Saturday night. And that’s cool, to a point.

But to paraphrase a Billy Joel standard, as it pertains to Block Editor, don’t go changing to try and fleece me, When the website mavens from San Fran felt like it was time to banish the old in favor of a brand spanking new ride, they shouldn’t make peeps feel old in the process. That shit harshes my mellow, man!

The search for peace of mind comes from a less simple time in my life, made less simple by yours truly. It was a low down dirty existence of a past, inside of which the only thing that mattered when push began shoving me off the edge was that indefinable construct that my brain could nestle inside of. There had to be something that mattered. I mean . . really mattered. 

The mellow is a conduit for me, the intersection of creativity and peace of mind, the latter of which is a priceless commodity. It’s just one of those things that I consider sacred, in a world where sacred things would get turned down if they applied for a loan.

Personally, I think the plushest flowers grow best when the garden is arcane.

I Ain’t Down With This Block Party

ROCK 'EM SOCK 'EM ROBOTS Game $14.97! - AddictedToSaving.comThe more things change, the more expensive they become. As a creature of ritual habitual, I insist on the ‘Lemme Be’ style of writing/bitching/editing/moaning for my WordPress posts. Which means to say, don’t call me with a change . . . Imma call you. All I ask of this place is to not fuck with my shit, which is all I ask of my government, come to think of it. On both counts, I’m usually getting value subtracted ‘bargains’ that I didn’t ask for and most definitely do not need in my life. It’s like loading up on clearance tchotchke at Target, only without the opportunity to unload it on an e-commerce site.

So when WordPress started talking up their new Block Editor last year? I did what any responsible blogger would’ve done with the information. I completely ignored it. And so for the past six months, the home office has been marching to this idea that a full scale, highly customizable change is coming . . whether we like it or not.

Not wanting to be uprooted from my humble blog abode, I did some research. I sat through three and a half minutes of a fifteen minute instructional video on the Block Editor (Or Gutenberg- an homage to the Renaissance era inventor of the printing press) and I was proud of myself for having made it that far. For one thing, the video feels as if it was made in a subterranean business suite sharing space with a dark web massage parlor. For another, it speaks to the curious state of our existence that there are a proliferation of videos on the topic that run even longer than the one I watched. For perspective, the soldiers who landed on the beaches of Normandy were given a couple minutes worth of do’s and don’ts before their introduction to hell.

If you go on the official WordPress site, this is the starched jingle to their forced mingle.

We call the new editor Gutenberg. The entire editing experience has been rebuilt for media rich pages and posts. Experience the flexibility that blocks will bring, whether you are building your first site, or write code for a living.

As a veteran of WordPress, I’ve seen the platform go through more wardrobe changes than Elton John doing Rio. As a writer, this Block Editor doesn’t feel like a match . . in the least. Not unless I was planning on doing shit other than writing. And it’s not like I have a problem with any of it . . . unless they insist on me switching. Which is where my angst comes in, because it’s obvious that the universal theme to their newest scheme is that yeah . . at some point we’re going to have to drink the not so cool aid.

Which means Imma have to get to my bunker and fetch the old school admin page once this happens. And I really ain’t digging the fact that WordPress is going all Sheryl Crow on my ass by insisting that a change will do me good. But okay . . fine, let them think they have my best interests in mind. So long as my annual subscription doesn’t ask for a Congressional raise this fall in order to offset the small fortune they’ve spent on their ad campaign.

Hey, I’m no blockhead.