Imma go with a blast from the past post for this Tuesday morning. It’s eight hundred pounds worth of sick puppy humor. Culled from the whine cellar of a blog whose mission statement was inspired by the late, great Robin Williams. “If they can’t take a fuck, joke ’em!”.
Monday February 4, 2008 will forever after be known as Black Monday to New England Patriots fans, following their stunning defeat at the hands of the New York Giants; a loss that prevented the Pats from going 19-0.
Also of note . . . Illinois Senator Barack Obama had taken the early lead in the democratic primaries heading into Super Tuesday. Many prognosticators at the time felt this was where Hilary was going to close the deficit and set the pace for the rest of primary season . . The stock market was struggling to steady itself after cratering to news of a possible recession . . and Iran fired a rocket into space. Shockingly, Salman Rushdie was not on board.
With all that news going on, I went with a YouTube video titled “Bird Poops in Mouth”. Because sometimes you find the story, and sometimes the story finds you. Sit back and enjoy this twenty second tutorial on what not to do when bird watching. The original title I affixed to this post was Birdie Bukakke Theater.
Some thoughts on the matter:
- Why didn’t this ever happen to Geraldo?
- They don’t call it “Action News” for nothing.
- NEVER open your mouth when looking up to find the bird that left a deposit on you.
- The Canadian Brown Finch . . . Canada’s Answer To An Air Force.
- Being a bird means never having to apologize for coming in someone’s mouth.
- If I were this reporter, I’d turn down the mall shooting stories.
- Finally, an answer to Manfred Mann’s “Blinded by the Light” lyrics! It goes …blinded by my mike, wrapped up in a deuce, you better feed me with a sprite! . . .
- Hey, whatever happened to Manfred Mann?
- And his hat?
- This kind of thing never would’ve happened to Manfred . . . cause of the hat.
- In Thailand, American businessmen pay top dollar to have this done to them. I’ve heard stories . . .
- If that had been Ryan Seacrest, he wouldn’t have missed a beat.
- You just know this guy’s nickname in the newsroom is going to be Walter Windshield.
- If this guy would’ve needed CPR, he would’ve been screwed.
- The worst part? That wasn’t a brown finch in that tree. Al Gore was bird watching.
- “The award for best performance by a supporting actor goes to,” all those guys on the crew who didn’t crack up.
- Left unsaid: Canadian Brown Finch tastes exactly like chicken shit.