My Top 5 (Anti)Heroes of the Week

Antihero Symbol

Since we’re knee deep in the January blahs, I wasn’t feeling the positive vibes necessary to pen a top 5 “Heroes”, so I just switched up the recipe for the sake of being contrary. It’s in keeping with the thirty one shades of gray that is the first month of the calendar, so there’s that. Sadly, it’s easier to find antiheroes in our day and age.

5-LeBron James- I could’ve nominated the entire Cleveland Cavaliers team, really. But since LBJ is supposed to be the leader, he gets the hit here. LBJ is playing his Hamlet act again in blaming everyone but himself for the fact his club can’t buy a win. He blames Kevin Love (his favorite punching bag), he blames Coach Lue, I think he even blames Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. And then he went and did this . . .

Wanna be one of the first to Congratulate you on this accomplishment/achievement tonight that you’ll reach! Only a handful has reach/seen it too and while I know it’s never been a goal of yours from the beginning try(please try) to take a moment for yourself on how you’ve done it! The House you’re about to be apart of has only 6 seats in it(as of now) but 1 more will be added and you should be very proud and honored to be invited inside. There’s so many people to thank who has help this even become possible(so thank them all) and when u finally get your moment(alone) to yourself smile, look up to the higher skies and say THANK YOU! So with that said, Congrats again Young King.

That there is the text of LBJ’s self congratulatory Instagram spill on reaching 30,000 career points. “The Disease of Me” always comes before the fall, and this biblical/basketball phrase perfectly encapsulates what is happening in Cleveland. Where have you gone, Michael Jordan?

4- Big Time News Outlets Behaving like Yahoo!(s)- This means you USA Today and Chicago Sun Times and Huffington Post! These national behemoths played the click bait game with readers as per CNN anchor Jake Tapper saying the Patriots were “a cheating team”. Tapper happens to be a huge Eagles fan who was simply stepping out of his suit and into a jersey and behaving like a fan. He was having fun, not breaking news. News outlets that should know better than to behave like Yahoo! . . didn’t.

Musical Intermezzo: I was reminded of this curiously delectable cover whilst watching The Assassination of Gianni Versace last night. I’m hooked on this season’s crime story anthology. Passionate, artful and heart-wrenching with good time tunes. What’s not to dig?

3- Democrats and Republicans “Trumping” each other- During the government shut down, both sides took to name calling as if they were bi-coastal rappers. They screamed ‘Anarchists’, they yelled ‘Overlords’ and they shouted ‘Arsonists’. And in perhaps my favorite dis of all, California Republican Devin Nunes took to calling his own peeps “lemmings in suicide vests,”. Listen, it’s bad enough we have a guy in the White House who takes great pride in trashing decorum. Where’s the adult supervision?

2- Hollywood and Its Mighty Minions- How comes it took bringing down a mogul like Harvey Weinstein for all these peeps to get loud? Call me cynical, but I can’t help wondering how many whispers and worse were floating around the halls of power and influence long before Weinstein was taken down. You mean to tell me nobody knew of anything happening to anyone anywhere until the biggest fish in the pond got fried? I can tell you from experience that sincere people don’t need to tell you they’re being sincere. That’s why sincerity is a posthumous curiosity. See, you can’t rail on about Trump’s lecherous behavior when making an awards show speech whilst playing look away for your friends and associates when nobody’s watching. You can’t damn one celebrities criminal behavior while ignoring another’s. Fairness is not simply a matter of propriety, it’s a matter of saving lives or ruining them. The celebrity world wants us to believe they are the ones fighting for humanity on the front lines. Excuse me if I’m dubious to those self indulgent claims.

1- Michigan State University, the USOC and USA Gymnastics- Where to fucking start? MSU is a public research institution, which means tax payers help to foot the bill. Asking for accountability doesn’t end with our elected representatives, it includes universities who ride on that dime as well. Olympic doctor Larry Nassar was able to perpetuate his evil over years and years, violating countless women while officials did nothing. When the now former President of the school, Lou Anna Simon, cites politics as being a part of the anger directed at this multi-tentacled scandal, it’s only further insult to injury. How dare she? How dare any of the people in authority, who knew, and did nothing to stop this monster.

As for the USOC and USA Gymnastics, this is what happens when we never mind corruption at the highest levels forever. The way we always did with the IOC when criminals such as Juan Antonio Samaranch prostituted the games in wink/wink deals worth billions. Corruption anywhere becomes corruption everywhere. 

Are we done pretending that Penn State was an outlier? That powerfully enabled tragedies such as this are reserved for bucolic campuses tucked into the mountains far away from the public eye? No, Penn State wasn’t the only big time school that was involved in a horrible scandal. And the worst part of all this?

It’s only a matter of time till the next one.