The Vera Farmiga Invitational

Image result for vera farmiga

Imma go back to my old school crush for this lovely episode, with many thanks to the timeless beauty of that man slayer extraordinaire, Sara Michelle Gellar. SMG is so much more than just a sexy stand in, and rest assured she will be booming these pages again soon. But January is for figuring out slumps and what better math to utilize than the geometrical qualities of Ms Farmiga? So here then is my first honeydew list of 2020. Enjoy!

Image result for Elle Duncan

Elle Duncan: She works for Animal House Sports (Business Name: ESPN), but she’s no keeper of the lame ass qualities perpetuated on the network. She’s funny in the realest kind of way, with no forced soundtrack necessary. She dispenses knowledge without verbiage, facts without fiction and news without the sophomoric slant. Girl’s got a smile that could melt butter and a rap that is all business. She doesn’t need to issue any ridiculous “hot takes”. She IS a hot take.

Image result for phoebe fleabag

Phoebe Waller-Bridge: Phoebe’s got that Headmistress vibe going strong, and it makes you want to score detention on the regular so’s you can be under her pretty thumb. She’s got the endearingly awkward personality that works a Happy Hour jaunt into an after-hours repartee. Quick to cut your knees out from under you, after which she props you up on the sofa and feeds you tequila in particular ways.

Image result for ashley graham

Ashley Graham: When it comes to exhibiting model behavior, this woman schools her peers on the regular. Because she’s what sexy is all about; confidence, fused together with the courage to be who she is, rather than what others insist she has to be. Mistress of the come hither glance, she is a Vegas lock when her eyes come calling on you. Positive proof that coloring outside the lines is so damned hot.

Image result for Skylar Diggins-Smith

Skylar Diggins-Smith: This woman has represented at every level- from high school to college to the pros- with a game that never quits, just like her. She came all the way back from an ACL injury without missing a beat, stringing together four straight WNBA All Star Game appearances. She’s equal parts fire and ice- throwing down daggers when left to her own devices while making opponents pay mightily with an ability to dish to the open teammate given the tiniest window. But really . . she had me at the curls.

Image result for bella heathcote

Bella Heathcote: She’s got an old school element to her new age filament that makes the screen she adorns go boom, every time. Pouty lips that tug at you and eyes that scratch at all the logic known to Mars with claws drawn up in a Venus playbook. She carries this perfumed swagger that makes you believe in the mystic. And when her hair goes all ramshackle, so do your knees.

I conclude this tasty episode by writing one more lovely into the starting lineup. This “All That All Star” was scouted by the Cincinnati Kid, the Short Order Opinion Maker, the Maestro of Madcap, the King of the Home Run Swing, the Titan of Tango  . . . none other than Frank from over at afrankangle.

Image result for robin meade

Robin Meade: This hawt headliner spells the news on weekday mornings for millions of Americans who choose to get their news delivered sans bluster. She’s a beauty who talks kindly, reports fairly and makes you feel as if you’re swapping coffee talk with her and only her. Personal enough to make you blush, and when she leans into the camera . . you will. And it’s what missing in today’s iteration of the Fourth Estate- where expert analysis is oftentimes code for pulpit speak. She ain’t faking her journalistic know how, and it shows.

Welp . . that’s all for this episode of what’s hot. I’d like to thank Vera for being the mostess of a hostess, and to the ladies in my lovely lineup . . thank you for rocking the science with smarts, savvy and plenty of sexy.

The Sarah Michelle Gellar Invitational

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I know, right?

Welp, if you’ve ever had the pleasure of reading a What’s Hot Invitational, then you are familiar with Vera Farmiga as being the linch pin to this sexy ride. And while Vera ain’t lost an ounce of her felonious appeal, I decided to break out another tasty spice. This is like when Billy Crystal decided to take a break from the Oscars. Only, this is sexy.

Besides, Vera has a lot going on these days so she wouldn’t be able to drop by to comment (yet again!) anyways. She’s got a new movie in theaters with two more coming up next year. And she’s happily married, and a devout Catholic girl. So yeah . . I hopped on another bus. And Imma blame Paul Simon for that shit.

Sarah Michelle happens to be happily married as well. But she ain’t devout. And that matters something wisely to my way of getting down. I’m not doing too much research on SMG, because really . . why should she be different from any other female I’ve ever gone juicy fruit for? Other than this . . . if you haven’t seen Veronika Decides to Die, you should check it out. The soundtrack is slightly annoying, but her performance has chops. Deliciously so.

Lauren Rutledge

Laura Rutledge- ESPN host on Get Up and pastry pinup pretty lady, this gal has game. She’s the one (only) solid reason to tune in to the show. At least, I think she’s a regular on the show. Anyways, whenever and wherever I surf her onto my screen, she gives me a reason to stay tuned.

Jessica

Jessica Lucas- Bad girls rule. And Jessica played a bad girl with a good heart, which is really unfair, but Imma accept it. If you’re not caught up on Gotham, then you might want to stop reading what I have to say about Lucas, right now. Because her leaving the show . . and the way she left the show . . it left me verklempt.

Grace Gummer

Grace Gummer- She plays an FBI agent who couldn’t give a fig for glitz or glam on the show Mr. Robot. She’s a hard boiled beauty with wild Irish locks and a razor sharp sense of humor. Do we need more evidence in order to detain her? Because I am plenty fine with that.

Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner- This woman has played every kind of character- from a deadly assassin in Daredevil to a dream girl crush in 13 Going On 30 and she has served it up like a Boss Woman. To refurbish a line from Karen Carpenter, on the day that Garner was born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true soccer mom with the kind of acting range that would impress NASA. And the fact that she divorced the Boston Red Sox guy makes her that much more beautiful in my eyes.

Minka Kelly

Minka Kelly- The girl possesses an exquisite versatility in that she can hone in on a variety of moods depending on the hairstyle. From wearing it up to going all frizzy to straight to permanent press to Holy Jesus! And no matter what she dials up, she’s gonna tempura anyone with a Y chromosome. Hells, she’s gonna do the same for the double XX crowd now that I think about it.

Adria Arjona

Adria Arjona- Those eyes. I mean . . they follow me everywhere. After which I fantasize about how they’re beaming me up into her space crib as old Blue Eyes sings us into Jupiter and Mars. There’s no doubting those heels are a Carrie Bradshaw Grand Slam, but you have to check our her creamy schoolmistress getup in Good Omens. It’s a show about heaven and hell, to which she fits perfectly.

Alex Morgan

Alex Morgan- God Bless America. This sexy forward for the Orlando Pride and the co-captain of the US women’s national team is a two time Olympic gold medal winner and after Sunday’s win over the Netherlands, a two time World Cup winner as well. But that’s not even the most impressive thing about her, nope. Ya see . . the girl has Americans digging on tea now. Goooooaaaaaallllll!!!!

Welp, that’ll do it for this make over invitational. I’d like to thank the Buffy as ever Sarah Michelle for her sultry work as my emcee hammer. And a big gracias to all the ladies who participated in this historic edition.

Vera would be proud.