Remember that girlfriend you had in high school who was constantly pulling you around by the leash? She'd break your heart one week only to pick up all the pieces inside the next? And every time you thought you'd finally learned your lesson, every time you'd talked yourself into never going back to her, she… Continue reading 635 Reasons to Love Cleveland
I decided not to play fantasy football this season, because I don't feel like cursing players I don't even know. Besides, I finished first in my league last year and I'm fucking tired, yanno? You might wonder why I wouldn't want to defend my title, and to that I answer with this. By not playing,… Continue reading Mostly Fearless NFL Predictions!
When did sports become so unlikable? It used to be that sports was a respite from the everyday; a temporary form of escapism that was fun and legal. It was a snow globe fascination whose import was clear as life and death but whose suspension of disbelief allowed us to dream like children. It was a gloriously… Continue reading Dear Sports: I’m Just Not That Into You
I can't believe it's Super Sunday already. It feels like only yesterday that I was putting together my fantasy league team whilst under the illusion my Dolphins had a chance to see January . . . if only for sixty minutes. The Patriots are making their annual trip, preparing to take on yet another bird.… Continue reading The New England Invitational Turns LII
We have seen this movie before. The one where the Patriots win twelve plus games, score a couple playoff wins in Foxboro and end up in the Super Bowl amid all the chatter about how they cheat to win and how they get all the calls. There are few things more certain than death, taxes… Continue reading Groundhog Day Meets Rocky Balboa
I never imagined I would be "that guy,". I was never going to be the dude who plays Fantasy League Football as if it's a side job that he really needs because his wife is pregnant again and he's got a mortgage payment that's trashing the shit out of his sleep. The guy who treats… Continue reading Keep your realities close, but your fantasies closer . . .