The Rebecca Hall Invitational

Iron Man 3 - Rebecca Hall interview: 'This is a whole new world ...

It’s been so hot lately . . . How hot has it been Marco? . .  It’s been so hot lately that Trump’s hair has been deemed a fire hazard, the Miami Heat are being asked to change their name and the Sun is suing us for copyright infringement.

So with the thermostat impersonating an NBA score, I figured on dishing up a hot plate of purr. The mistress of ceremonies, Rebecca Hall, was kind enough to lend us her feminine wiles for the occasion. She is my latest hostess for this semi-ish annual event. And don’t you worry because Vera will be returning for a fall special.

wallpapers for image rebecca hall in high res | Rebecca hall, Hall ...

Rebecca Hall- Why wouldn’t we start things off with this gal? She’s uber talented, she’s got the smile, the resume, the height (she feels tall, okay?) and the British accent. And that’s just the starters on this stunner, who can rock any hair style whilst playing spy games with your most particular senses. She can play nice or naughty, and she brings the funk to a rock and roll song that gets written every time she walks in the room. That’s called checking all the boxes.

Scarlett Johansson: Her Sexiest Films

Scarlett Johansson- Perhaps at no time in the history of sexy has a name fit the face the way these two fit each other. And I am still wondering why NYC hasn’t given this dame a key to the city . . for having been born there. I mean, what’s in the water? Because they really should bottle that stuff and issue an IPO, stat! Better yet, name her Queen of New York. She can live in Madison Square Garden since there ain’t nothing going on in that joint anyways.

Logan Browning

Logan Browning- Keep those eyes away from me, because they will force me under . . to a place I’ll never want to leave. She is dynamite, all squared up with some place to go. She’s the girl next door that you give a key to just in case she needed to borrow anything at all. And she plays shy with that look, but you know she understands her powers full well. Those eyes . . . they do not play fair.

Maribel Verdú, protagonista de Sin Rodeos: "Me niego a ...

Maribel Verdu- She could pass for Rebecca Hall’s sexy sister, but every time I see her I think of a Spanish Chrissie Hynde, singing songs of love to me. Don’t get me wrong (Had to), because Maribel earned this spot all by her Queen Bee self. She combines elegance, confidence and beauty in her inimitably timeless way. She doesn’t just rise to the occasion, she is the occasion.

Stana Katic – HawtCelebs

Stana Katic- Oh Stana, how far we’ve come from those days when I would bypass you when it came time for another Invitational. It wasn’t your fault you reminded me of an old flame in every conceivable way- most notably, how you come off as God’s gift. But then came your work in Absentia, where you slummed it as Special Agent Emily Byrne. You were so damned good that you forced me to overlook the fact that you were a lying, cheating bad girl who loved her drink too much . . just like my ex. Is that the definition of hurts so good?

Maria Taylor - ESPN Press Room U.S.

Maria Taylor- When it comes to college football, Georgia knows its business. But it’s beauties like Taylor that give the state its shine. The most beautiful sound I ever heard (on ESPN)? Maria . . of course. She stands out on the four letter, because she doesn’t have a schtick. She’s all business and she knows her stuff, and I hope she goes elsewhere some day seeing as how I no longer have cable.

Delilah' Comedy Pilot Starring Jessica Rothe From Sharon Horgan ...

Jessica Rothe- If you combine beauty, a smart ass personality and acting chops . . that’s the triple crown skill set that gets you to the Invitational. Rothe’s got it, and here’s my prediction of the week . . drum roll, por favor. She’s gonna win an Oscar some day. I just know it.

I can’t top an Oscar prediction, so I ain’t gonna try. Instead I’ll just ask you to keep it safe as we trudge through these dog days of summer. And sorry if I raised the temperature in here, but hey . . I was working off a script that is as old as Aphrodite, and every bit as powerful.

Stay sexy.

 

 

 

 

The Vera Farmiga Invitational

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Imma go back to my old school crush for this lovely episode, with many thanks to the timeless beauty of that man slayer extraordinaire, Sara Michelle Gellar. SMG is so much more than just a sexy stand in, and rest assured she will be booming these pages again soon. But January is for figuring out slumps and what better math to utilize than the geometrical qualities of Ms Farmiga? So here then is my first honeydew list of 2020. Enjoy!

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Elle Duncan: She works for Animal House Sports (Business Name: ESPN), but she’s no keeper of the lame ass qualities perpetuated on the network. She’s funny in the realest kind of way, with no forced soundtrack necessary. She dispenses knowledge without verbiage, facts without fiction and news without the sophomoric slant. Girl’s got a smile that could melt butter and a rap that is all business. She doesn’t need to issue any ridiculous “hot takes”. She IS a hot take.

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Phoebe Waller-Bridge: Phoebe’s got that Headmistress vibe going strong, and it makes you want to score detention on the regular so’s you can be under her pretty thumb. She’s got the endearingly awkward personality that works a Happy Hour jaunt into an after-hours repartee. Quick to cut your knees out from under you, after which she props you up on the sofa and feeds you tequila in particular ways.

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Ashley Graham: When it comes to exhibiting model behavior, this woman schools her peers on the regular. Because she’s what sexy is all about; confidence, fused together with the courage to be who she is, rather than what others insist she has to be. Mistress of the come hither glance, she is a Vegas lock when her eyes come calling on you. Positive proof that coloring outside the lines is so damned hot.

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Skylar Diggins-Smith: This woman has represented at every level- from high school to college to the pros- with a game that never quits, just like her. She came all the way back from an ACL injury without missing a beat, stringing together four straight WNBA All Star Game appearances. She’s equal parts fire and ice- throwing down daggers when left to her own devices while making opponents pay mightily with an ability to dish to the open teammate given the tiniest window. But really . . she had me at the curls.

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Bella Heathcote: She’s got an old school element to her new age filament that makes the screen she adorns go boom, every time. Pouty lips that tug at you and eyes that scratch at all the logic known to Mars with claws drawn up in a Venus playbook. She carries this perfumed swagger that makes you believe in the mystic. And when her hair goes all ramshackle, so do your knees.

I conclude this tasty episode by writing one more lovely into the starting lineup. This “All That All Star” was scouted by the Cincinnati Kid, the Short Order Opinion Maker, the Maestro of Madcap, the King of the Home Run Swing, the Titan of Tango  . . . none other than Frank from over at afrankangle.

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Robin Meade: This hawt headliner spells the news on weekday mornings for millions of Americans who choose to get their news delivered sans bluster. She’s a beauty who talks kindly, reports fairly and makes you feel as if you’re swapping coffee talk with her and only her. Personal enough to make you blush, and when she leans into the camera . . you will. And it’s what missing in today’s iteration of the Fourth Estate- where expert analysis is oftentimes code for pulpit speak. She ain’t faking her journalistic know how, and it shows.

Welp . . that’s all for this episode of what’s hot. I’d like to thank Vera for being the mostess of a hostess, and to the ladies in my lovely lineup . . thank you for rocking the science with smarts, savvy and plenty of sexy.

The Sarah Michelle Gellar Invitational

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I know, right?

Welp, if you’ve ever had the pleasure of reading a What’s Hot Invitational, then you are familiar with Vera Farmiga as being the linch pin to this sexy ride. And while Vera ain’t lost an ounce of her felonious appeal, I decided to break out another tasty spice. This is like when Billy Crystal decided to take a break from the Oscars. Only, this is sexy.

Besides, Vera has a lot going on these days so she wouldn’t be able to drop by to comment (yet again!) anyways. She’s got a new movie in theaters with two more coming up next year. And she’s happily married, and a devout Catholic girl. So yeah . . I hopped on another bus. And Imma blame Paul Simon for that shit.

Sarah Michelle happens to be happily married as well. But she ain’t devout. And that matters something wisely to my way of getting down. I’m not doing too much research on SMG, because really . . why should she be different from any other female I’ve ever gone juicy fruit for? Other than this . . . if you haven’t seen Veronika Decides to Die, you should check it out. The soundtrack is slightly annoying, but her performance has chops. Deliciously so.

Lauren Rutledge

Laura Rutledge- ESPN host on Get Up and pastry pinup pretty lady, this gal has game. She’s the one (only) solid reason to tune in to the show. At least, I think she’s a regular on the show. Anyways, whenever and wherever I surf her onto my screen, she gives me a reason to stay tuned.

Jessica

Jessica Lucas- Bad girls rule. And Jessica played a bad girl with a good heart, which is really unfair, but Imma accept it. If you’re not caught up on Gotham, then you might want to stop reading what I have to say about Lucas, right now. Because her leaving the show . . and the way she left the show . . it left me verklempt.

Grace Gummer

Grace Gummer- She plays an FBI agent who couldn’t give a fig for glitz or glam on the show Mr. Robot. She’s a hard boiled beauty with wild Irish locks and a razor sharp sense of humor. Do we need more evidence in order to detain her? Because I am plenty fine with that.

Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner- This woman has played every kind of character- from a deadly assassin in Daredevil to a dream girl crush in 13 Going On 30 and she has served it up like a Boss Woman. To refurbish a line from Karen Carpenter, on the day that Garner was born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true soccer mom with the kind of acting range that would impress NASA. And the fact that she divorced the Boston Red Sox guy makes her that much more beautiful in my eyes.

Minka Kelly

Minka Kelly- The girl possesses an exquisite versatility in that she can hone in on a variety of moods depending on the hairstyle. From wearing it up to going all frizzy to straight to permanent press to Holy Jesus! And no matter what she dials up, she’s gonna tempura anyone with a Y chromosome. Hells, she’s gonna do the same for the double XX crowd now that I think about it.

Adria Arjona

Adria Arjona- Those eyes. I mean . . they follow me everywhere. After which I fantasize about how they’re beaming me up into her space crib as old Blue Eyes sings us into Jupiter and Mars. There’s no doubting those heels are a Carrie Bradshaw Grand Slam, but you have to check our her creamy schoolmistress getup in Good Omens. It’s a show about heaven and hell, to which she fits perfectly.

Alex Morgan

Alex Morgan- God Bless America. This sexy forward for the Orlando Pride and the co-captain of the US women’s national team is a two time Olympic gold medal winner and after Sunday’s win over the Netherlands, a two time World Cup winner as well. But that’s not even the most impressive thing about her, nope. Ya see . . the girl has Americans digging on tea now. Goooooaaaaaallllll!!!!

Welp, that’ll do it for this make over invitational. I’d like to thank the Buffy as ever Sarah Michelle for her sultry work as my emcee hammer. And a big gracias to all the ladies who participated in this historic edition.

Vera would be proud.

 

 

 

 

The Vera Farmiga Invitational

 

Vera Farmiga

It’s been a while.

Back inside another time, I used to put together these “Hot Lists”- comprised of sultry dishes whose cosmic ingredients sated the visual sweet tooth. Unlike Maxim’s Hot List, mine do not include minors. There’s no need for swimsuits or anything of the like. Alls these gals have to bring is their bad selves.

You may wonder why I call it the Vera Farmiga Invitational instead of the Hot List; to which I say, same difference. Vera is the Mistress of Ceremonies because she is the reading, writing and ‘rithmetic of what’s hot. She is the honey’s bees knees, and thus . . it’s her party.

So, here’s my latest starting lineup of sexy. Nine gals with skill sets that touch all the bases. Go home team!

ashleigh-banfield

Ashleigh Banfield– She’s got the glasses, which I dig very much. She’s got the smarts, which I dig very much. She’s got the looks, which completes this yummy trifecta of brains and beauty. I can’t wait until tomorrow, because this girl just keeps getting better looking every day.

Julie Stewart Binks

Julie Stewart Binks- I’m not gonna lie, soccer babes rock. I have a long history of smitten when it comes to the soccer kitten (see what I did there?). J Shizzle has that sexy smirk that always gets me riled up, and then she deals up her five tool talents? And then I’m begging her to stop because it hurts so good. But she won’t stop, because she knows I love it. Okay . . . what was I talking about?

Carole Laure

Carole Laure- This Canadian import is a product of Quebec. The singer/actress/creamy seductress is now seventy years old, but when you Google her, you’re gonna find the new way of doing fifty is what you’re gonna find. Because she is still sweeter than maple syrup. Hat tip to the Notorious Q for this sexy get!

Crystal Reed

Crystal Reed- GodAYUM is my one word answer to the question that is Crystal Reed. Because I have no idea who she is, seeing as how the woman can play more roles than a double agent in wartime. Bookish schoolmarm who will kill you in your sleep and you’ll be okay with it? Check! Goth chick who will eat your soul at the picnic lunch you fix for her and you’ll be like “You so crazy baby!” Check! Girl next door who can cook up a feast, run a bake sale from the trunk of her Jetta and seduce the boy next door before happy hour? Check! Gangster wild child with a death wish, who somehow becomes the black sheep of a crime family dynasty? Checking A!

 

Carmen Ejogo

Carmen Ejogo- Carmen has the name, she has the timeless beauty and she has the ability to give you myriad hair days- one more spectacular than the next. From the hot professor short ‘do to ‘8o’s sleek, ’20’s  bouffant, beehive, beachy blond bombshell and boot kicking booyah. She has rocked every kind of look and she’s got that British accent which supplies a velvet crush to the senses.

Gemma Chan

Gemma Chan- She’s reminiscent of a different time in Hollywood. Elegance and grace with a style that doubles down on plain ‘ole sexy. And when she speaks . . that secret that Victoria’s been toting around? It gets told.

Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle- She’s the girl next door. Assuming you live next door to Buckingham Palace. Meghan’s smile gives everything away, because what lies beneath that sweet, lithesome curl is a bad girl gone good. At least . . that’s my interpretation of it. If I’m wrong, just leave me be.

Carrie Anne Moss

Carrie-Anne Moss- She’s so beautiful that she even made Keanu Reeves look good in all those Matrix movies. Just kidding! Please don’t send hate mail to me, since I haven’t checked the email for this blog in forever, and I would hate to miss out!

Paula Patton

Paula Patton- I had this dream that Paula was my drill instructor and that . . Okay, well . . that’s as much as I can share as far as that dream goes. She’s got a style all her own and a look that says Friday night. I’d be a member of Patton’s Army any day.

Welp, that’ll do for this latest installment of the Vera Invitational. Thank you for tuning in, and we would like to remind you to check your local listings for a Holiday Edition! Until then, may you have honeyed up wishes and hot buttah dreams.