The Sarah Michelle Gellar Invitational

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I know, right?

Welp, if you’ve ever had the pleasure of reading a What’s Hot Invitational, then you are familiar with Vera Farmiga as being the linch pin to this sexy ride. And while Vera ain’t lost an ounce of her felonious appeal, I decided to break out another tasty spice. This is like when Billy Crystal decided to take a break from the Oscars. Only, this is sexy.

Besides, Vera has a lot going on these days so she wouldn’t be able to drop by to comment (yet again!) anyways. She’s got a new movie in theaters with two more coming up next year. And she’s happily married, and a devout Catholic girl. So yeah . . I hopped on another bus. And Imma blame Paul Simon for that shit.

Sarah Michelle happens to be happily married as well. But she ain’t devout. And that matters something wisely to my way of getting down. I’m not doing too much research on SMG, because really . . why should she be different from any other female I’ve ever gone juicy fruit for? Other than this . . . if you haven’t seen Veronika Decides to Die, you should check it out. The soundtrack is slightly annoying, but her performance has chops. Deliciously so.

Lauren Rutledge

Laura Rutledge- ESPN host on Get Up and pastry pinup pretty lady, this gal has game. She’s the one (only) solid reason to tune in to the show. At least, I think she’s a regular on the show. Anyways, whenever and wherever I surf her onto my screen, she gives me a reason to stay tuned.

Jessica

Jessica Lucas- Bad girls rule. And Jessica played a bad girl with a good heart, which is really unfair, but Imma accept it. If you’re not caught up on Gotham, then you might want to stop reading what I have to say about Lucas, right now. Because her leaving the show . . and the way she left the show . . it left me verklempt.

Grace Gummer

Grace Gummer- She plays an FBI agent who couldn’t give a fig for glitz or glam on the show Mr. Robot. She’s a hard boiled beauty with wild Irish locks and a razor sharp sense of humor. Do we need more evidence in order to detain her? Because I am plenty fine with that.

Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner- This woman has played every kind of character- from a deadly assassin in Daredevil to a dream girl crush in 13 Going On 30 and she has served it up like a Boss Woman. To refurbish a line from Karen Carpenter, on the day that Garner was born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true soccer mom with the kind of acting range that would impress NASA. And the fact that she divorced the Boston Red Sox guy makes her that much more beautiful in my eyes.

Minka Kelly

Minka Kelly- The girl possesses an exquisite versatility in that she can hone in on a variety of moods depending on the hairstyle. From wearing it up to going all frizzy to straight to permanent press to Holy Jesus! And no matter what she dials up, she’s gonna tempura anyone with a Y chromosome. Hells, she’s gonna do the same for the double XX crowd now that I think about it.

Adria Arjona

Adria Arjona- Those eyes. I mean . . they follow me everywhere. After which I fantasize about how they’re beaming me up into her space crib as old Blue Eyes sings us into Jupiter and Mars. There’s no doubting those heels are a Carrie Bradshaw Grand Slam, but you have to check our her creamy schoolmistress getup in Good Omens. It’s a show about heaven and hell, to which she fits perfectly.

Alex Morgan

Alex Morgan- God Bless America. This sexy forward for the Orlando Pride and the co-captain of the US women’s national team is a two time Olympic gold medal winner and after Sunday’s win over the Netherlands, a two time World Cup winner as well. But that’s not even the most impressive thing about her, nope. Ya see . . the girl has Americans digging on tea now. Goooooaaaaaallllll!!!!

Welp, that’ll do it for this make over invitational. I’d like to thank the Buffy as ever Sarah Michelle for her sultry work as my emcee hammer. And a big gracias to all the ladies who participated in this historic edition.

Vera would be proud.

 

 

 

 

The Vera Farmiga Invitational

 

Vera Farmiga

It’s been a while.

Back inside another time, I used to put together these “Hot Lists”- comprised of sultry dishes whose cosmic ingredients sated the visual sweet tooth. Unlike Maxim’s Hot List, mine do not include minors. There’s no need for swimsuits or anything of the like. Alls these gals have to bring is their bad selves.

You may wonder why I call it the Vera Farmiga Invitational instead of the Hot List; to which I say, same difference. Vera is the Mistress of Ceremonies because she is the reading, writing and ‘rithmetic of what’s hot. She is the honey’s bees knees, and thus . . it’s her party.

So, here’s my latest starting lineup of sexy. Nine gals with skill sets that touch all the bases. Go home team!

ashleigh-banfield

Ashleigh Banfield– She’s got the glasses, which I dig very much. She’s got the smarts, which I dig very much. She’s got the looks, which completes this yummy trifecta of brains and beauty. I can’t wait until tomorrow, because this girl just keeps getting better looking every day.

Julie Stewart Binks

Julie Stewart Binks- I’m not gonna lie, soccer babes rock. I have a long history of smitten when it comes to the soccer kitten (see what I did there?). J Shizzle has that sexy smirk that always gets me riled up, and then she deals up her five tool talents? And then I’m begging her to stop because it hurts so good. But she won’t stop, because she knows I love it. Okay . . . what was I talking about?

Carole Laure

Carole Laure- This Canadian import is a product of Quebec. The singer/actress/creamy seductress is now seventy years old, but when you Google her, you’re gonna find the new way of doing fifty is what you’re gonna find. Because she is still sweeter than maple syrup. Hat tip to the Notorious Q for this sexy get!

Crystal Reed

Crystal Reed- GodAYUM is my one word answer to the question that is Crystal Reed. Because I have no idea who she is, seeing as how the woman can play more roles than a double agent in wartime. Bookish schoolmarm who will kill you in your sleep and you’ll be okay with it? Check! Goth chick who will eat your soul at the picnic lunch you fix for her and you’ll be like “You so crazy baby!” Check! Girl next door who can cook up a feast, run a bake sale from the trunk of her Jetta and seduce the boy next door before happy hour? Check! Gangster wild child with a death wish, who somehow becomes the black sheep of a crime family dynasty? Checking A!

 

Carmen Ejogo

Carmen Ejogo- Carmen has the name, she has the timeless beauty and she has the ability to give you myriad hair days- one more spectacular than the next. From the hot professor short ‘do to ‘8o’s sleek, ’20’s  bouffant, beehive, beachy blond bombshell and boot kicking booyah. She has rocked every kind of look and she’s got that British accent which supplies a velvet crush to the senses.

Gemma Chan

Gemma Chan- She’s reminiscent of a different time in Hollywood. Elegance and grace with a style that doubles down on plain ‘ole sexy. And when she speaks . . that secret that Victoria’s been toting around? It gets told.

Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle- She’s the girl next door. Assuming you live next door to Buckingham Palace. Meghan’s smile gives everything away, because what lies beneath that sweet, lithesome curl is a bad girl gone good. At least . . that’s my interpretation of it. If I’m wrong, just leave me be.

Carrie Anne Moss

Carrie-Anne Moss- She’s so beautiful that she even made Keanu Reeves look good in all those Matrix movies. Just kidding! Please don’t send hate mail to me, since I haven’t checked the email for this blog in forever, and I would hate to miss out!

Paula Patton

Paula Patton- I had this dream that Paula was my drill instructor and that . . Okay, well . . that’s as much as I can share as far as that dream goes. She’s got a style all her own and a look that says Friday night. I’d be a member of Patton’s Army any day.

Welp, that’ll do for this latest installment of the Vera Invitational. Thank you for tuning in, and we would like to remind you to check your local listings for a Holiday Edition! Until then, may you have honeyed up wishes and hot buttah dreams.