I haven’t stepped foot in a hair salon since George W was arm wrestling Dick Cheney for the remote control in the Oval Office.
Cost Cutters doesn’t count. I visited the place once about ten years ago, despite the fact I was stone cold sober at the time. I was rewarded with a fast food haircut for my piss poor judgement and my daughter started cutting my hair after that. She’s one of those people who can basically do anything really well, even if she’s never done it before, and cutting hair was no different.
I used to go to Regis when I had a regular stylist. Her name was Judi and from the first time she cut my hair, I knew she was the one. The girl had my hair down to a science, and we would rendezvous every couple months in the early morning before the mall opened.
A hairstylist like Judi comes along once in a lifetime, and so when she moved away I knew my hair would never find another pair of hands that fit like hers. I got with her friend at the salon a few times after that, but it was painfully obvious that her cut just didn’t do it for me. And so I moved on.
It was sometime after this that my follicles came under attack by a rambunctious band of guerrillas that were being funded by stress and hula hooping hormones. Dames and hypothyroidism were filching my once thick mane, pushing my inner Pterelaus to what I assumed would be comb-over status before too long.
I became very introspective, thinking back to all the times when I had taken my hair for granted. Like the time I bleached it in high school and it came out Greg Brady orange. Or when I tried straightening it because, get this . . I didn’t like wavy hair. There was my Pat Riley period, where I took to slicking back my hair. And caps . . all those fucking ball caps I wore when I should have been showing off all the hair I had!
And just as I was becoming resigned to the idea of going bald, a funny thing happened. I didn’t go bald. This was “The Comeback” in which I staved off follicle elimination with biotin and less dramatic romantic entanglements; the latter proving itself every bit as useful a remedy as its B complex compadre. The bathroom sink no longer felt like a Japanese horror flick. My hair was thinner, sure . . but it was still my hair.
And then one day I shaved my head, for the hell of it. All the angst I’d experienced in regards to going bald, and there I was, doing it to myself. The worst part was not knowing what my naked cranium was going to look like. The conversation I had with myself whilst shaving went something like this . . .
Oh what the FUCK did I do!
Hey! This ain’t so bad . . . it’s pretty okay!
This better be okay or Imma hole up in a cabin in the woods for a year!
Oh shit, is this?
Cool!
I imagined it would be smooth sailing once the top was down, but I found myself shaving my head every couple days thanks to the dark roots that would show up loudly. And talk about irony, to be complaining about my hair . . . when I didn’t have any! I did the Kojak for a couple years before going back. I started cutting my own hair after this because now I had a proven contingency plan in place in the event I ever pull a Picasso whilst clipping.
Which brings me to the Halloween costume party I’ll be attending as Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu. So yeah . . it means Imma shave my head again. For the hell of it, again. In spite of the angst this will result in as I wonder if it will return to me, again.
Occam called. He wants his razor back.
(Special gracias to Q for the tune)
Transforming from Samson to Kojak made me think of this … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMOYhApOa7c
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Who loves ya baby! LOL.
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I thought you would like it.
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I watched that show. As well as Baretta, Streets of San Francisco, Kolchak The Night Stalker, Columbo, Starsky and Hutch, Mod Squad . . .
You get the idea. 😉
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No hair {in the modern world of XXI century) means:
1. Sexy
2. Probably a maniac
3. Stingy (saving on shampoo 🧴)
4. Head full of louses
Well you pick…
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Imma go with 1 or 2. Although 3 does make sense, I also like to shampoo and will miss it while I’m (my hair) is gone. 4? Most definitely not. I’m too hygienically obsessive, LOL.
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😂😂😂 1+2 maybe? :))
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Both!
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🕺🕺🕺😎 nice hero ;))
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So much more preferable than lice. LOL
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One of my heroes is Mr. BeardFullOfLice 🙂 so…we doesn’t need 1 more 😂😂
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Not a problem. And I ain’t gonna Google this guy . . I’m just not. 😂
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Haha too early, he doesn’t exist yet :)) or maybe 😉😉
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Just the same, I ain’t googling. LOL
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😏😂😂
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😂
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in life – yes :))
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I follow an anti-lice policy.
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Lol 😂 good one ☝️
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🙂
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Cool writing ✍️😂😂🕺
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Thank ya RNB . . thank ya very much.
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Dear Marco,
Oh how I relate to Follicle Follies. I lost many hours of sleep and suffered burns on my wrists after going to bed wearing a hatbox hairdryer with my long locks set on hollowed soup cans. During my turbulent teen years, when girls were emulating Cher, Judy Collins, Peggy Lipton and their long straight hair, mine ever so curly. How I tried to get my hair to look like Stephanie Powers’ do in Girl From UNCLE (only to realize years later that all it took was the right wig). I fried my hair with the clothes iron which worked great until I walked outside on a humid day.
My trials continued into the 1980’s when women were paying $100 a pop for a spiral perm. Vindication was mine. 😀 Today I love and enjoy my easy care curls.
Best wishes with the shaved head. (Are you sure you want to do that?) Loved your hair-o-wing story. And the song is great.
Shalom and a squeaky clean Tuesday,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
Why do we stress and fuss and muss and primp and pay way too much at the pump when we have no good reason to do so? In my case, I know I would have appreciated my thick mane so much more if I knew then what I know now. Isn’t that always the way it is?
Am I sure I want to do this? Actually . . yeah. I would be hesitant if I hadn’t done it already and liked it.
And the song is thanks to Dale, who came up with not one but three different choices for this post!
Shalom and Shampoo-less days ahead,
Marco
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Like the occam reference
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I had to get occam in there somehere. 🙂
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😉
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B,
First off, once again you have me Googling shit. I always feel so ignorant.
We are never happy with what we have. Curly wants straight, straight wants curly, wavy wishes it were curlier, short wants long and the beat goes on! I believe you know my thoughts on the whole hair thing. I change it up all the time. In one fell swoop I went from straight squaw hair past my shoulders to short à la Mia Farrow or Halle Berry (when she was at her sexiest, in my opinion) – not that I am calling my own self anywhere near her sexy 😉 I just meant the hair, of course!
I had done my share of perms and then ironically, my straight hair of my youth, which had just enough body to not lie flat, became wavier and curlier with each pregnancy. I dunno, I just go with it. I am the laziest broad out there. Wash and wear and oh please, hairdresser, make it so I don’t have to do a damn thing, k? Like wash it, comb it and forget about it….
As to you and your story. I can’t wait to see what you look like (being of the privileged few who will). And my father always said: “God made a few perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair.” This, of course, coming from a man who was sans hair in his late twenties…
And chuffed I had a minute part in this post 😉
Q
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B,
I did huh? 😉
And umm . . ignorant? Puhleeze!
That is SO true! Whatever we got, we want something else. And then I got thinning hair and that’s when I surrendered to all the other whims for once and for all. And was simply thankful for hair at all!
It makes sense though, to let it be. All the primping . . it takes years off your life. Think about how much time peeps spend in front of mirrors searching for that perfect look. Years!
I wouldn’t go back if I wasn’t good with it. I was very hesitant as to how it was going to look that first time. Muy stressful! But alas . . it’s ayt.
Chuffed again huh? 😉
B
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You did. Pterelaus? Occam’s Razor? Do I know nothing?
And I didn’t even touch on the colour! Which is funny… the only thing I was ever willing to do was put in streaks – never before the age of 38 and since they dying it my own damn colour. How boring am I?
And it sucks for so many men to have to deal with it. I hate to say it sucks even more for women who are thinning because it is even more rare and difficult to deal with. I know, not fair, but let’s face it, the thinning/balding thing is more commonly a man thing so when it happens to women it feels more judged.
I think so. After all, how many women do you know who can be ready in 15 minutes or less? I don’t have time for that shizzle… though I don’t mind making the effort for occasional happenings 😉
That’s what I figure. Why the hell would you if you weren’t?
Yep. My new fave word. 😉
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I needed one obscure item and Occam. Whose razor I will be using in a few months.
Did you like the streaks?
It does suck more for women, you’re right. I’ve known women who had it and it’s not like they were able to just up and shave their heads. It was either deal with it or get a wig.
It’s not the usual, that is for sure. Fifteen minutes is world record time, actually.
Well, I AM odd.
That has been your go to word. It does beat the . . . wait for it . . shit out of Walking Dead’s go to word for this week’s episode. So yanno, there is that.
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He he he… is there an echo in here?
I did. Less maintenance, actually!
Exactomundo. But whatcha gonna do?
I wouldn’t say world record but rather decent effort – and one I do pretty much every day I work!
In a good way.
Okay, okay, I get it. Imma change words…
Shit.
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Yeah, I wonder about that sometimes.
Smart, makes sense.
Yeah, they had to deal. Ain’t easy.
So what you’re saying is that you’re a world record holder. You Canadians . . .
Ya think?
Chuffed is better’n shit. Any day of the week. Even on WD days. 🙂
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Doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that we chat viva voce as we respond to comments.
Does.
Ain’t.
🧐
I know.
I think so. Course, I may discover another “new word” before next week 😉
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Hmmmm. Imma have to get back to you on that one. But who knows? That might have something to do with it.
Mmm Hmm
Uh huh
😎
Buahahaha!
Let’s hope Walking Dead comes up with a new word.
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It just might at that. You let me know what you discover.
Indeed.
Yeah.
Pffft.
😉
This week was shit, maybe next week will be damn…
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Initial reports are saying there might . . and I stress might be a correlation. But it’s too early to confirm.
You mean PFFFTTTT!!!!
Well it can’t be fuck unless they move to HBO.
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Understandable. We shall await further confirmation.
Yeah, that too.
Except that one time that Daryl said it but it sounded more like a fuuuuu…
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Sources say there IS evidence of a correlation, but we can neither confirm nor deny at this point.
That to.
Daryl didn’t! I can’t imagine . . .
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Then maybe we best leave things where they stand at this point.
Or was it two?
Oh, he so did! I even taped it to prove it 😉
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Some news agencies are reporting that the Russians may be involved as well. Again, we can neither confirm nor deny these allegations. Stay tuned . . .
Two. Most definitely two?
You taped it to prove it? That’s a fan right there . . .
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Ah hell… the Russians are everywhere!
Potentially two.
I did. Or maybe more as a… wha???
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Potentially Tua (Dolphins joke. I know . . that’s redundant but humor me, por favor).
Methinks it was more of a wha???
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And to think I actually get that one (Tua)!
Methinks so, too
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That Dolphins fan chap rubbed off on you. Stick with the Raiders though. They actually have a chance!
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He did. And I still like the Raiders from waaaay back when!
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They’re a good choice again. 😉
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😁
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😉
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Stress can do all sorts of unkind things to the body. I just cut about a foot of the keratin off my lid because I’m a coward for dealing with bad things. Oh well, it will grow out. I hope! Be kind to yourself, Grasshopper.
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Stress sucks. And yes, it can do some damage if you let it. In retrospect, hair is the least of the problems it can cause.
I will be. You too. 🙂
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👍🏻
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Peace and hair.
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😂
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😉
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Great story about your hair. Funny your stomach didn’t step up and take the brunt of the stress stuff. Your poor hair was on its own. Nice to find a way to pull out of the clean pate club. Fun story, Marc. BTW I used to pay big bucks for a style and then it hit me. All I’m really getting for the big bucks is a haircut. Great Clips do me now. All I get there is a haircut but expect nothing else.
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So you all must hail from the same place since your references seem familiar. Regis, Great Clips, which is a great name for a haircutter by the way. Here we have Strands, and another joint called Locks.
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I’m in Austin, TX, and Marc is in Pennsylvania. I think the concepts are the same. Walk-in, sit down, clip clip. Eleven bucks and 15 minutes later a new man. No drama, no kid stories, no Christmas gift.
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LOL
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That was a sweet little paragraph John. Your talent is showing, like a lady’s lacy slip. 🙂
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You two behave yourselves.
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Oh, are you our chaperone now?
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Listen kids, I’m just saying. This is a respectable joint and all.
Okay, I had to giggle with the respectable line . . .
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A hoity-toity woid if there ever was one.
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Hahaha. super analogy, Susannah. 😀
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We love a good analogy or alliteration here at athngirl.com. 🙂
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😊
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I like the name of Strands. And Locks too.
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Very English. Of course, one still pops into the Astor Place Barber Shop where you enter with a whip and a chair, but we Noo Yakers are very brave in the hair department. 🙂 PS Love From Hair To Eternity. Funny and clever. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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The title had to have something, yanno? Since my head will be clean shaven proper before too much longer. Hey! Maybe I can sell advertising on it! No permanent ink . . that’s my only stipulation.
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Titles are flirty, come hither and read me…it’s a great one.
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You’re right.
I picture Lauren Bacall telling Bogey all he has to do is whistle. Hot stuff then, hot stuff now.
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40s lingo, can’t beat it. The famous whistle scene. To Have And To Have Not was filmed in 1944. and it still holds up. Like The Godfather and The Sting. They’re timeless.
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Absolutely. And my God, how she delivered those lines . . flammable. Highly.
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She was flammable alright. They didn’t call her Bogie’s baby for nothing.
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What a dame.
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Very Runyon, once again. I do believe he brays through you from that big news desk in the sky.
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I need a bourbon.
Well . . maybe later.
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Neat. Hold the Ice.
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You got it.
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My hair made a nice comeback, but alas . . . we all come to that point where time takes more and more.
This is true. I never had a cut I really liked other than Judi, who just knew.
Thanks Boss.
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I get that. Judi, Judi, Judi.
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I like your Cary Grant . . .
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You know what I think about a bad haircut, it’s not like getting your nose fixed. It grows back. Like that your daughter is so creative, like her dad.,
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True thing, SB.
Ari is so damned good at anything she does. And perhaps her most impressive trait is how chill she always is, no matter what. She’s so cool.
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Let’s clone the lady, and Fedex her here. 🙂
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All that and she’s an absolute wiz at math- since that’s what she’ll be teaching.
My heroine of the week, every single one of ’em.
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Well, lets here more about her on Friday. 🙂
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She’s too humble for that.
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Who does she get that from. 🤔
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Hmmm
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Hmmm indeed.
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😉
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My God, men and their hair. My hair is very curly, not wavy. Curly. Growing up that provided my male peers with plenty of ammunition for ridicule, while the old ladies at school just loved it and so wished their grandsons had hair like mine.
Needless to say, when I got to middle school, I took matters into my own hands. I spent the next couple of years, with a part on the side and tried to brush the rest of my hair into submission. I so wanted to be like the other boys who could just run their fingers through their hair and it would just settle neatly into place. To have “feathered” hair on the sides!!!!
But that was never to be for me. Instead at some point in high school, I ditched the part on the side and discovered the beauty of the hair dryer. My curls became an afro. I was the whitest Q-tip you’ve ever seen. I still have my driver’s license from when I was sixteen so that I never, ever forget that I could look like that again.
But then as I advanced into adulthood, I ditched the hair dryer and had something approaching a mullet … shorter on the sides, longer in the back and on top. But I never had a real mullet because the longer my hair, the tighter the curl. Flowing locks was never going to be a thing for me.
I kept that style though for quite some time until I just tired of. And then the bald spot in back started and grew like a nuclear cloud across my scalp. That spot made keeping my hair at any length seem unreasonable. The last thing I wanted is that bald patch in back, so I started cutting it real close to the scalp.
For the most part, for the last 10-15 years, I’ve sheared my hair off every three or four weeks. For a time, I shaved it regularly. I liked the smooth feeling of a shaved scalp, but I got tired of the requirement to shave it every day or two to keep it at that level of smoothness. So, yes, now it’s an every few weeks type of thing for me. I do it myself. Some day, I hope to go back to a cleanly shaven head, but not quite yet.
Meanwhile, when I stopped using a hair dryer to produce my white boy ‘fro, I also grew facial hair for the first time. For 34 years now, I’ve had facial hair, either a beard or what I think is described as a van Dyke or a goatee. About 10-12 years ago, I decided to shave it off. This was during the time I was also shaving my head.
Oh wow … never, ever, ever going to go without facial hair again.
But, here’s my dilemma … I want to shave my head, but want to keep facial hair. The goatee with bald head works, but the full beard with bald head … just don’t know if that’s a look I can pull off.
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The goatee with bald head is a winner, but yeah, the full beard is TOUGH. I went with a goatee at one point the last time I shaved my head and it worked well, but the beard . . . nah. I looked like that vintage game where you take the magnetic pen and give the character hair. Ugh!
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Great description of the problem with that look. My younger son is pushing hard for the shaved head with beard look. Maybe once I’ve retired.
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Once you retire, that’s different. Then you can try it on for size and see if it fits.
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Once I retire, I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT!!!!!
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You go Boss!
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I forgot to mention another dynamic here. The day I shaved my head my wife refused to look at me. Don’t know why, but she absolutely hates it. To which I say, I don’t have much hair left. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
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I have a few friends who were intrigued by me doing it and a few others who . . let’s just say weren’t cool with it. Whatevs. And what’s fun are the peeps who KNEW me when I had a shaved head and go “Oh yeah . . yeah you DID have a shaved head!” Again, whatevs.
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Hey – first – you find the coolest songs to share – this one about ” I am not my hair” was artsy (the vertical slides of video snippets) and with an uplifting message.
It also fit right in with your Hair post here (has to write it that way) – and the Halloween costume sounds adventurous
😊
Also – saw your comment Reply to frank
And My mom was just visiting and we both enjoyed an episode of Columbo –
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This song was all Dale. She actually offered up a couple choices, but I’m with you, I thought this one was perfect for it.
The Halloween costume will be fun. Kitschy even. Love this time of year.
“Eh . . sorry . . sorry but I have one more question for ya if ya don’t mind . . .”
My Columbo impersonation.
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Well dale gets a gold star (and now I see why you thanked Q at end of post)
That was a great Columbo line
– 😉
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She has a bunch of gold stars, deservedly so. And if you ain’t seen her pics on WW, you should. SO good!
It was classic Columbo. I loved the old detective shows.
😉
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I did see her WW pics this week
And left a comment that it makes me want to paint my version of that sweet scene
–
But I am not in a painting right now
—
And it was fun to watch one Columbo episode with my mom-
We used to watch the show Monk together and so during the recent Columbo episode we chatted about how parts of the Monk show were inspired by that hit show
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I could definitely see wanting to paint that!
Artists rock. But you know that already.
I know you’re a big Monk fan, and yes it’s fun to know that the show took its cue from a classic.
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I once read about a few of true old shows that inspired the creation of Monk.
And then read that the writer of breaking bad watched every episode of forensic files (so did I) and did you know that Walter white was based on a true character?
Speaking of old and new shows – my step daughter introduced me to grey’s an anatomy recently – She loves it – and I might not be able to watch it the way I was hoping to (wanted to share that bond with her) but the reason I bring it up was my husband’s comment on the show – he came in a few times while we were watching – but he hated the music video feel at certain parts and said it reminded him of Miami Vice – which he barely watched – but we both saw the “in the air tonight” song playing as they drove down the Miami highway in a convertible (while donning their sport coat and jeans perhaps)
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I did not know that about Walter White, no.
The only episodes I ever caught of Grey’s were when I dated someone who watched it. I felt like it was to music video-ish as well. Never got into it, but I fully supported anyone’s habit, 😉
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Also / fun to hear kojak…
Nobody really knows some of these classics anymore –
And I might have told ya this – but in 90s folks would mention Richard Pryor when I would say me last name – Prior
And I would often joke that we were related distant cousins (in a way is true cos we all share certain genes)
But nowadays – not many folks know Richard
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It is, right? LOL
That’s hilarious! And yes it’s true. Chapelle became Pryor. And Gaga became Madonna and disco moved to movie soundtracks. The times . . they keep a changin.
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Yup – sure do keep changing
And hit pop songs don’t have guitars and Sometimes barely need a drummer
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Ain’t that the truth.
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And do you know I shaved me head in 2014
It was quite the experience and I have a few stories –
One of them – I was visiting someone at the hospital and this lady with a hat started following me –
I went up the elevator and down three halls and at then nurses station – the lady stopped and asked “children’s section?”
She then revealed she was there for chemo and followed me assuming I was too.
And I realized how different it was when I was bald by choice vs someone bald from chemo
(And the song you hated mentioned chemo at the end)
—
Anyhow – it is quite the experience for anyone to be bald – and glad you had the comeback
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You and me were walking around with shaved heads at the same time, Prior!
And that is a powerful story. Makes you appreciate what you have- good health. The rest of it, haircuts and shaves . . it’s merely details.
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Wow – so 2014 was our year
In hind sight I would have left a little fuzz for the first few weeks –
And it was a free feeling for sure.
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I am excited to go back, actually.
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😊☀️
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Let the sun shine . . let the sun shine . . the su-uun shine in!
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Loved your “hair-rowing” story. Flaunt the curls. Or go bald. Both are appealing. When all my girlfriends were developing, long before my tomboyish heart even thought about it, at least I was called “blondie” and loved it. lol. Even now, I get noticed more because of my hair than anything else. 🤣
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Gail,
I’ve gotten good reviews on the Curly look, so Imma keep it for a while. 🙂
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My hair is naturally curly as well, so I definitely turn it to my favor. Sometimes my hair stylist makes it straight for a day or two. 😜
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You go wild child!
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No doubt. I’m returning to the island home for awhile. 🌴
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Woot!
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